the shaper
Rising Star
Greetings, family.
Took me long enough to find this place. I've been searching for my little section of home on this internet, and I believe I may have found it. Ask and ye shall be given. I haven't really been lurking too long, but I have had my fair share of experiences. I'll give you a little background about myself.
I grew up in TN in a suburb of a bigger city. I was always articulate and curious and never really fit in with the general public. Heh, I remember my mother telling me that my preschool teacher called me an "old soul." That didn't exactly click until much later.
I went through school with a sharp and keen memory, learning what they told me to learn, not really trying, per se, but not actively distracting myself from my studies. I was (and still am) very passionate about music. My father raised me on the Grateful Dead, and I discovered classic rock and was taken with it. Eventually, I discovered improvisational music (besides tGD), which became my personal favorite. I also studied a good bit of theoretical, quantum and astro physics on my own time. Was always drawn to the stars, and considered myself agnostic. Never played around with the recreational chemistry until later. I basically just sat around in my room, philosophizing, writing poems, songs, short stories, essays, whatever came to mind, wallowing in my own loneliness.
My final year of high school, I was introduced to the "gateway drug," and I dove in full-force as I went away to college. This got me involved in the "bad side of the scene," as I like to call it. I became friends with drug dealers, and thus began my experimentation. I was never really drawn to many drugs, but as a younger teenager, I remember being particularly drawn to lysergic acid diethylamide. After many times of "playing around" with low quality product my first year of college, I was thrown into the deep end with some very high quality WoW-- about 7 or 8 hits in all.
This trip was my turning point, er "axis," if you will. I traveled for the first time. I was under the influence with a group of others, but I couldn't help but feel like I was beyond them... that none of them were ready, and I'd done this many, many times before (in previous lives, perhaps.) They were all just spun, acting like children, and I was having revelations about higher dimensions and "seeing" my higher dimensional self "unfold" before my "eyes." Later, I experienced the closest to "Nirvana" I can come on this plane. The entire time, I wanted it to storm. And as I was coming down, a storm brewed and blew through. I could feel the electricity dancing all around me, and worked to manipulate it myself.
Later that summer, I attended the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival. While I was there, I was set on obtaining two things-- a tie dyed shirt, and a new one-hitter pipe. The second day, I received two very clean, potent "Hoffman" prints. This was a very, very spiritual experience. For the first time, the veil had been completely lifted. I saw things as they truly are. I made many connections, namely the music - spirituality - physics/science connection. I can go on, but for brevity's sake (ha ha), I will leave it at that. I also realized the fluoride agenda, and a not-so-random stranger crossed my path at my tent. He was selling pipes, and as he showed them to my group of friends, I engaged him in conversation. I had spoken a few choice words, and he asked if I had ever tried DMT. I replied yes, but I had never broken through.
You see, back in my days of hanging out with the dealers, I'd had access to almost whatever I could have wanted to try. Once, my friends had procured DMT, and I gave them my vape to use. But they hadn't properly cleaned it afterwards... so, fast forward a few months (this was prior to my axis), to spring break, when I was sitting on a porch overlooking the majestic waves just following sunset. I had packed up my vaporizer to partake in some herb, and as I inhaled, I instantly realized something was not as I expected. The taste. The smell. It was different. I held in my breath and realized, "Oh! I accidentally smoked DMT!" I exhaled, and received some very nice visuals and this odd feeling I could not yet place. Time grew elastic (as I'd been accustomed to with other psychedelics), and it wore off after what was only a moment.
The second time I'd tried DMT was not accidental-- it was very much on purpose. Still, I was not ready, so I was not given the gift of breakthrough. I only received visuals of fractals and patterns and that feeling deep, deep down. This kind had been more pure... white powder, unlike the stringy yellow I had seen previously.
So the fellow tells me I need to try it again. And after he says so, he opens his second case of pieces and lo-and-behold, there is this shining aura around this one pipe and I just know that it's meant to be mine. I buy the piece off of him, and he goes on his way. Not but five minutes after he left, a fellow came around selling t-shirts. He had only one tie dye left, and it was in my size. This was my first lesson with the Law of Attraction.
Also during this trip, I began hearing voices in my head. I had no idea whether it was myself, or angels, or "God," or aliens or what. I just felt it as imparting wisdom and truth. I tried not to think about it too much, or even speak about it. Because, once again, I was on a completely different level from my group. They began to grow worried and thought I was losing my mind. Unbeknownst to them, I was gaining it. Later, I performed a rain dance and willed it to rain. Or so I believed.
So ended my first truly spiritual experience, a second axis in my life. After we left and returned back to "reality," I grew very interested in the metaphysical. I studied sacred geometry, philosophized on different subjects. But I grew very out-of-touch with this reality. My grades slipped, and I began to wonder what the point of it all was. I went on a pure water fast and began meditating, but without proper guidance. I asked the universe for help. A couple months later, it delivered.
I was at a concert with my friends, and we met two individuals who could connect us with a supply of LSD. They invited us to hang out in order to feel us out. I still to this day feel like the only reason they agreed was because of me, because the others were still slaves to the ego and focused on profit, but perhaps that's just my ego. Anyways, a few weeks later, they came to visit us back in our city with "goodies."
They brought a sheet of American Beauty (Grateful Dead album), and began just feeding it to us. This was my third axis point, as I experienced my ego-death. After that, one of the fellow travelers taught me a Buddhist meditation technique, which I grasped on to quickly. Later, my friends had procured some DMT for good measure. We smoked, but I once again failed to break through.
Sitting in the room, following the first round of blasting off, my head was pulled toward a fairly large bug. I pointed to it, and one of my friends went to go kill it, but I yelled at them to stop. He turned to me with a look of confusion, and I just shrugged, not knowing exactly how to explain my outburst. After this, everyone went outside to smoke. I remained, and my eyes wandered to the pipe of deemsters right as the song "Divine Moments of Truth" by Shpongle came on the playlist. I got up and picked up the pipe, turning it over and looking at it. I pulled the piece to my lips and flicked the lighter. Deep inhale. Wait. Exhale. Deep inhale. Ex--- and existence as I knew it deconstructed around me as I was left in utter nothingness. I felt nothing, no worry, no fear, no anxiety. Peace. Tranquility. And before I knew it, I was back in the room, the song still playing. I looked to my right, and on the wall right by my face was the bug. Time grew elastic once more, and I saw the bug lift its legs and move them in perfect time with the music, space-time warping around its legs, as if he was the maestro of this area of space-time. I was speechless, and sat in awe until the others came back inside. I didn't even attempt to explain what I'd experienced to them, knowing most of them would just write it off as lunacy.
Later that night, I attended a local electronica show, still very tapped in. There, I gained epiphany about light and how this three dimensional world is projected from the higher dimensions, all through light, again witnessing firsthand my previous theoretical physics studies.
After that night, I withdrew from that group of friends. I have not had the opportunity to revisit the Spirit Molecule, but had many more flings with Lucy. I've been clean from all drugs (except occasional beer or wine or the nice toke) for a little over a year. Recently, I've drifted away from my True Path, but I'm getting back into regular meditation and playing music, after graduating college this past December (and in 3.5 years at that.)
And then I found myself at this website, where I got an urge to introduce myself. So it goes.
I don't have any questions at the moment, but I won't hesitate to ask if they so arise.
tl;dr --- Hello
Feel free to ask any further questions if you so desire. I'm a fairly open individual. This is by no means an autobiography, but just a taste of "relevant" experience.
I look forward to joining this community and contributing.
Took me long enough to find this place. I've been searching for my little section of home on this internet, and I believe I may have found it. Ask and ye shall be given. I haven't really been lurking too long, but I have had my fair share of experiences. I'll give you a little background about myself.
I grew up in TN in a suburb of a bigger city. I was always articulate and curious and never really fit in with the general public. Heh, I remember my mother telling me that my preschool teacher called me an "old soul." That didn't exactly click until much later.
I went through school with a sharp and keen memory, learning what they told me to learn, not really trying, per se, but not actively distracting myself from my studies. I was (and still am) very passionate about music. My father raised me on the Grateful Dead, and I discovered classic rock and was taken with it. Eventually, I discovered improvisational music (besides tGD), which became my personal favorite. I also studied a good bit of theoretical, quantum and astro physics on my own time. Was always drawn to the stars, and considered myself agnostic. Never played around with the recreational chemistry until later. I basically just sat around in my room, philosophizing, writing poems, songs, short stories, essays, whatever came to mind, wallowing in my own loneliness.
My final year of high school, I was introduced to the "gateway drug," and I dove in full-force as I went away to college. This got me involved in the "bad side of the scene," as I like to call it. I became friends with drug dealers, and thus began my experimentation. I was never really drawn to many drugs, but as a younger teenager, I remember being particularly drawn to lysergic acid diethylamide. After many times of "playing around" with low quality product my first year of college, I was thrown into the deep end with some very high quality WoW-- about 7 or 8 hits in all.
This trip was my turning point, er "axis," if you will. I traveled for the first time. I was under the influence with a group of others, but I couldn't help but feel like I was beyond them... that none of them were ready, and I'd done this many, many times before (in previous lives, perhaps.) They were all just spun, acting like children, and I was having revelations about higher dimensions and "seeing" my higher dimensional self "unfold" before my "eyes." Later, I experienced the closest to "Nirvana" I can come on this plane. The entire time, I wanted it to storm. And as I was coming down, a storm brewed and blew through. I could feel the electricity dancing all around me, and worked to manipulate it myself.
Later that summer, I attended the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival. While I was there, I was set on obtaining two things-- a tie dyed shirt, and a new one-hitter pipe. The second day, I received two very clean, potent "Hoffman" prints. This was a very, very spiritual experience. For the first time, the veil had been completely lifted. I saw things as they truly are. I made many connections, namely the music - spirituality - physics/science connection. I can go on, but for brevity's sake (ha ha), I will leave it at that. I also realized the fluoride agenda, and a not-so-random stranger crossed my path at my tent. He was selling pipes, and as he showed them to my group of friends, I engaged him in conversation. I had spoken a few choice words, and he asked if I had ever tried DMT. I replied yes, but I had never broken through.
You see, back in my days of hanging out with the dealers, I'd had access to almost whatever I could have wanted to try. Once, my friends had procured DMT, and I gave them my vape to use. But they hadn't properly cleaned it afterwards... so, fast forward a few months (this was prior to my axis), to spring break, when I was sitting on a porch overlooking the majestic waves just following sunset. I had packed up my vaporizer to partake in some herb, and as I inhaled, I instantly realized something was not as I expected. The taste. The smell. It was different. I held in my breath and realized, "Oh! I accidentally smoked DMT!" I exhaled, and received some very nice visuals and this odd feeling I could not yet place. Time grew elastic (as I'd been accustomed to with other psychedelics), and it wore off after what was only a moment.
The second time I'd tried DMT was not accidental-- it was very much on purpose. Still, I was not ready, so I was not given the gift of breakthrough. I only received visuals of fractals and patterns and that feeling deep, deep down. This kind had been more pure... white powder, unlike the stringy yellow I had seen previously.
So the fellow tells me I need to try it again. And after he says so, he opens his second case of pieces and lo-and-behold, there is this shining aura around this one pipe and I just know that it's meant to be mine. I buy the piece off of him, and he goes on his way. Not but five minutes after he left, a fellow came around selling t-shirts. He had only one tie dye left, and it was in my size. This was my first lesson with the Law of Attraction.
Also during this trip, I began hearing voices in my head. I had no idea whether it was myself, or angels, or "God," or aliens or what. I just felt it as imparting wisdom and truth. I tried not to think about it too much, or even speak about it. Because, once again, I was on a completely different level from my group. They began to grow worried and thought I was losing my mind. Unbeknownst to them, I was gaining it. Later, I performed a rain dance and willed it to rain. Or so I believed.
So ended my first truly spiritual experience, a second axis in my life. After we left and returned back to "reality," I grew very interested in the metaphysical. I studied sacred geometry, philosophized on different subjects. But I grew very out-of-touch with this reality. My grades slipped, and I began to wonder what the point of it all was. I went on a pure water fast and began meditating, but without proper guidance. I asked the universe for help. A couple months later, it delivered.
I was at a concert with my friends, and we met two individuals who could connect us with a supply of LSD. They invited us to hang out in order to feel us out. I still to this day feel like the only reason they agreed was because of me, because the others were still slaves to the ego and focused on profit, but perhaps that's just my ego. Anyways, a few weeks later, they came to visit us back in our city with "goodies."
They brought a sheet of American Beauty (Grateful Dead album), and began just feeding it to us. This was my third axis point, as I experienced my ego-death. After that, one of the fellow travelers taught me a Buddhist meditation technique, which I grasped on to quickly. Later, my friends had procured some DMT for good measure. We smoked, but I once again failed to break through.
Sitting in the room, following the first round of blasting off, my head was pulled toward a fairly large bug. I pointed to it, and one of my friends went to go kill it, but I yelled at them to stop. He turned to me with a look of confusion, and I just shrugged, not knowing exactly how to explain my outburst. After this, everyone went outside to smoke. I remained, and my eyes wandered to the pipe of deemsters right as the song "Divine Moments of Truth" by Shpongle came on the playlist. I got up and picked up the pipe, turning it over and looking at it. I pulled the piece to my lips and flicked the lighter. Deep inhale. Wait. Exhale. Deep inhale. Ex--- and existence as I knew it deconstructed around me as I was left in utter nothingness. I felt nothing, no worry, no fear, no anxiety. Peace. Tranquility. And before I knew it, I was back in the room, the song still playing. I looked to my right, and on the wall right by my face was the bug. Time grew elastic once more, and I saw the bug lift its legs and move them in perfect time with the music, space-time warping around its legs, as if he was the maestro of this area of space-time. I was speechless, and sat in awe until the others came back inside. I didn't even attempt to explain what I'd experienced to them, knowing most of them would just write it off as lunacy.
Later that night, I attended a local electronica show, still very tapped in. There, I gained epiphany about light and how this three dimensional world is projected from the higher dimensions, all through light, again witnessing firsthand my previous theoretical physics studies.
After that night, I withdrew from that group of friends. I have not had the opportunity to revisit the Spirit Molecule, but had many more flings with Lucy. I've been clean from all drugs (except occasional beer or wine or the nice toke) for a little over a year. Recently, I've drifted away from my True Path, but I'm getting back into regular meditation and playing music, after graduating college this past December (and in 3.5 years at that.)
And then I found myself at this website, where I got an urge to introduce myself. So it goes.
I don't have any questions at the moment, but I won't hesitate to ask if they so arise.
tl;dr --- Hello
Feel free to ask any further questions if you so desire. I'm a fairly open individual. This is by no means an autobiography, but just a taste of "relevant" experience.
I look forward to joining this community and contributing.
