HARMALAS! why didnt yall tell me about them?

[null24]

:lol:
Just kidding, the question is, why did I wait so long? This isnt a full exp report just a howdy.

Went way up into the woods yesterday ( grateful for living in the US city with the largest natural park within its limits-there's old growth in there within walking distance from 100,000s of humans!) with a buddy and partook of my latest full spec acacia extract. Prior to blast off, we simply smoked a fat bowl between us of unground seeds. ( I know, ghetto, right? ) Then we hiked another half hour or so to a secluded spot and smoked the extract, which had been solved into IPA and evapped onto mullein leaf.

WOW! I immediately entered DMT space, at once greeted by the typical pattern I always see and felt a presence, which urged me while I hesitated to do more. This is where things usually get very frantic, waving of etheric arms and bouncing, strange fast bleeps and bloops all rushing by my 'astonished' mind. Well all that was there, nothing was added to the trip, it was just much...slower. At a very leisurely pace all these usual things happened. Finally, I was able to take part in this rather than just helplessly try to grasp one or two of the images. And the recall is near complete as well.

I thought I had peaked and was reentering clear space when all the sudden it ramped up again, into another full blown what I think is breakthru. All in all this lasted abouyt two hours before we returned fully to baseline. On that note, this is the only mind altering substance Ive ever done that has no hangover, no jones, no necessary recuperation. For something that includes a orgasmic euphoria in the physical, this is unheard of.

This is all part of a very well documented (by me) attempt at ameliorating the symptoms of severe depression, which has been an extremely difficult struggle for me and has created circumstances in my life which beget more sadness in a self fulfilling, negative cycle I'm desperate to break from. While it's mostly situational, I believe, those situations create more pain that in turn paralyzes me from taking the self-care action needed to move on. I'm stuck in a damn rut. Well, it's been pretty successful so far, 10 days, one mild and one full dose later I'm feeling energetic and while still have tears in my eyes when I think about certain things, think I'm getting the strength to push through, and on. I do NOT tolerate SSRIs and have experienced bad side effects from other mood stabilizing drugs. Depacote provided a dysphoria and another I cant recall the name of made me stutter horribly. Finding something that can help me, especially that isnt required to dose every day, is of paramount importance to me. Mushrooms are too hard for me to source, although a microdose routine gave me the best 8 months of my adult life. I'm praying to a god I dont know that this will be the key to a really crappy lock.

And anyway, yeah, ya'll gotta tell me about these things...:lol:

 

[Elpo]

Good to hear you are feeling better Null. Keep us updated on how you feel in the long run and don't worry about the tears, let them all out, they're all part of the process.

Good luck!

 

[Jees]

... think I'm getting the strength to push through,...

:thumb_up:

Be deadly honest when privately talking to the mountains, the water, the trees...
They won't listen though, but they'll be with you when out of words.

 

[DeltaSpice]

I was never massively depressed but I had my moments from time to time.
Since partaking in spice/Harmala, every single grain of depression has been wiped from me, no matter the situation I can no longer feel sorry for myself or miserable .
I hope it does the same for you.
Good luck.

 

[universecannon]

Harmalas are so underrated :thumb_up:

 

[null24]

Thanks y'all, of course I'm still in the afterglow, but I'm pretty sure there is more to it. I think this may be the thing. I'll never use DMT without harmalas again, :lol:

I like to 'silently integrate', to really just let the whole thing percolate and sink in before i write about it, but yes, I'm keeping a personal diary of the effects. I can feel a different reaction to things that normally trigger me-actually being less reactive and more reasonable about situations, if that makes sense. I'm curious how long this concrete effect will last. I'm kind of researching my own sanity, ha!

 

[null24]

Thanks y'all, of course I'm still in the afterglow, but I'm pretty sure there is more to it. I think this may be the thing. I'll never use DMT without harmalas again, :lol:

I like to 'silently integrate', to really just let the whole thing percolate and sink in before i write about it, but yes, I'm keeping a personal diary of the effects. I can feel a different reaction to things that normally trigger me-actually being less reactive and more reasonable about situations, if that makes sense. I'm curious how long this concrete effect will last. I'm kind of researching my own sanity, ha!

Jees- yes!
U-cannon- surely!

 

[Icon]

Nice! MAOI's are so useful. I never advertise the possibility but when I see someone struggling to see their goal and understand it, that's when I recommend the maoi. Hardly anyone has accepted though, I think they're scared or don't understand just how well it works and how dramatic an effect it can have. I'm excited now to work with it more myself!

 

[pitubo]

Harmalas make a great combination with mushrooms and lsd too, adding prolongation, emotional depth and afterglow. And they synergize well with cannabis, not even a tryptamine.

"Naked" harmalas are interesting on their own. In low doses, they are mild and soothing. In high doses they can cause psychedelic effects, as if tripping on one's own neurotransmitters, though some people might not like the substantial body load of a high dose.

Some even report beneficial synergy with cactus alkaloids. But in general, carefulness and restraint is called for when combining harmalas with phenethylamines, especially those of the alpha methyl kind. Keep them far away from MDMA (and meth, and opiates, and prozac etc; If it's not psychedelic, don't mix with harmalas!)

 

[null24]

An update: i haven't dosed DMT since Saturday (Wednesday now) but HAVE been smoking Rue in the morning and evening, combining with s little cannabis. Yes, pitubo, the synergy there is beautiful, it allows for a more visionary, lucid exp with weed . Also seems to add to the pathos.

Here's the rub-i think I'm overdoing it. By the research I've done, you'd think such a thing doesn't exist, but I'm running up against the same problem I've had with SSRIs and even St. John's wort- rage. While my reactivity level initially seemed to decrease to usually depressing stimuli, I'm finding myself reacting disproportionately to anger-causing situations. There is a particularly infuriating person in my life, but i should ignore rather than fight them. I don't know what's going on, this is distressing me, I'd hoped that I'd found help. Does anyone know of this reaction to possibly too MUCH serotonin? Definitely paradoxical.

 

[Orion]

Which part lasted two hours, you mean the afterglow? No way you went to hyperspace for two hours from vaped right? :shock:

Sounds like you are getting some use from these great tools either way

 

[null24]

Which part lasted two hours, you mean the afterglow? No way you went to hyperspace for two hours from vaped right? :shock:

Sounds like you are getting some use from these great tools either way

Yes, yes however the hyper space part was greatly extended. In our anticipation we forgot to check the time before liftoff.

I'm really curious if anyone else has experience with this anger syndrome in the presence of elevated serotonin levels. There is something going on, unfortunately I've done something wrong dosage wise or maybe its NOT my ally.

I'm experiencing several beneficial things, a clarity of mind, giving me a clearer vision of goals and the energy to obtain them. It's also elevated my level of pathos, the emotional reactions to life. It's this aspect that led to the generation of great anger and hostility.

I had an incredibly hard day with it yesterday. I'm wondering a few things,though. The trip i took with DMT and the rue was with someone i don't feel comfortable with exposing all my darkness to. He's young, and although he's experienced with psychedelics and although he's been to war, quite emotionally immature. On a previous trip he sat with me through he told me afterward that he had no internal demons to work thru, he'd already done all his work. At 23 years old, without real living under his belt, he's right, he hasn't fed them enough to manifest yet. Me, my head is a nest of snakes sometimes. Anyway, i had to hold back to a large extent. One part of the trip, where i began to think of my ailing mother, how much I'd let her down, and how the only thing i could do for her is to be happy I had my own hands upon my own neck, comforting myself. There was a purging in the form of vocalization, but i feel that the trip may have just 'loosened ' some psychic detritus and it's now clashing around my consciousness wreaking havoc.

That, or I did too much drugs. what do you think?