PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Perhaps not ideal in hindsight. It felt right at the time, but that was the only time I had to do it
(physical condition) Set: Feeling good. Had worked a lot that day and was looking forward to working a lot more.
Setting (location): The usual - in bed, cats chilling on bed
time of day: (12 or 24 hour system, daylight? starlight? overcast?) Around 11:00 a.m.
recent drug use: (list also any kind of medication) cannabis and harmalas, lions mane and niacin (1 month break psilocybin to reset for Stamets Stack) and the usual OTC stuff that people in their 50's take - allergy pills, reflux pills, vitamins
last meal: (Time and type) Light - big veggie salad
PARTICIPANT
Gender: (m / f) Female
body weight: (in kg pls) 62.5 KG
known sensitivities: MDMA hard roll at 75 to 80 mgs; cannot take benzos due to paradoxical reaction.
history of use: (experienced, novice, first timer - in general and for this specific substance/form) VERY experienced 2009 to 2016. Back after 7 years and feeling a bit like a noob
BIOASSAY
Substance(s): (list all taken substances) Bowl of weed with maybe 40 mgs (eyeballed) fb harmalas smoked, DMT at 10 mgs, then DMT at 25 mgs.
Dose(s): (in the same order as Substances pls, use metric system i.e. g/ mg/ �g) Bowl of weed with maybe 40 mgs harmalas on top, DMT 10 mgs then DMT 25 mgs.
Method of administration: (dissolved in water, capsuls, insufflated, vaporized...) weed and harmalas smoked, DMT vaped
EFFECTS
Administration time: T=0:00 (expand this if you used delayed administration for multiple substances or the same substance with multiple doses. Use indices.) 2 hits first 10 mgs DMT, 3 big hits 25 mgs DMT
Duration: (x hours) 8 mins for the 10 mgs and 12 mins for the 25 mgs
First effects: Profound anxiety, open eyed reality ripping at the seams
Peak: (estimate a time range and note as e.g. T=2:00-4:00 for a range of 2 hours beginning 2 hours after administration) A couple minutes for the first dose, probably more like 3 to 5 on the second
Come down: Fast on the first one. Took hours and return to work to feel back fully on 2nd one.
Baseline: 4 hours after administration.
Intensity (overall): (use HRS-like scale i.e. 0-4: 0 = "Not at all;" 1 = "Slightly;" 2 = "Moderately;" 3 = "Quite a bit;" 4 = "Extremely.")
Evaluation / notes: 3
OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: (0-4) 3
Implesantness: (0-4) 3
Visual Intensity: (0-4) 3
.
.
.
AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: (0-4 ; what type of impleasantness ; duration) About 4 hours of feeling weird and as if I was being pulled to the left
Afterglow: (0-4 ; what type of positive effects ; duration) A great appreciation for the everyday, the mundane, the intensity and duration of my work
REPORT
INTRODUCTION:
I spent some time just trying to get my head together, get on top of the anxiety.
Once again I decided to try 10 mgs to see if the waters were welcoming . . . I was very pleased how last time that completely quelled the anxiety and made me feel a bit disconnected/flat/like a disinvested observer.
I loaded 10 mgs into my GVG and measured out another 30 mgs, keeping it handy, but safe from cats.
The 8 minute experience was hectic, dark, spinning and full of geometric solids and faces.
At that point I was feeling a bit hesitant about 30 mgs so decided to try 25 first.
THE MAIN EXPERIENCE:
This one lasted 12 minutes.
I cannot fricken believe it. I just got an Abrahamic Religion (something I not only do not endorse but blame for much that is wrong in the world) themed trip, complete with judgement, hell and heaven! Of course I’ve never seen Gods or Goddesses (other than an exquisite crystalline ornament once LOL) in hyperspace or demons or devils and they did not appear this time either.
What the hell/heaven?!!?? Oh man, typical DMT. Just never telling where I’m going to go on the ride once I have the ticket clutched in my sweaty palm.
This extraction felt different from the other batch. Either that or my different sets affected things. The new felt more mechanical/digital than the other which felt more organic. Of course I never went over 20 on the old and did 10 then 25 of the new.
It was very hard to do. The body load felt huge. I was feeling distinct anxiety on the third hit because the room was already becoming radically distorted, reality was ripping at the seams as Shpongle sings.
The onset was dark background with sharp and fantastic multi colored lines and patterns opening up into planes and rooms. My mind was scattered.
I felt panicked and opened my eyes a couple times. I was trying to resist the very strong impulse to fight the trip and it was incredibly difficult. And YET. The truth is when my eyes opened, they kept falling shut, my ability to fight it was not profound. The thickening visions behind closed eyes were trying to overlay on what I was seeing with open eyes. This was almost 100% mental. I stayed on my bed.
Neith the puffy tabby with a white chest kitty was there on the granny square blanket and everything was moving in blurry waves. The granny squares were super brightly colored, again the colors seeming to have an inner light. This is a theme I have been noticing about colors on non breakthrough doses.
Neith just sat there and became a self-transforming fluffy cat, an uber fluffy cat, a weird hypercat that was blurry and grinning, a furry black and white dog, a panda bear, all super cute and out of reach in all iterations, all vibrating. I felt like she helped me to calm down a bit by just sticking her position and vibrating.
I was finally able to let go enough and my eyes closed for for the rest of the experience. I tried to focus on breathing but the first half was difficult and stressful. It’s like I was judged. Found to be too judgemental, found to be talking too much about DMT, found to be too angry. Haha, none of this is a surprise to me.
I was shown a kind of dark hell that was a chaotic mess, of dark rooms but no entities that I recall. I have no details on visions due to a very intentional act of not remembering. I can remember DMT trips by making an effort. If I do not make the effort I do not get the memories in my conscious mind. But, the feeling was one of pure dread, futility and for lack of a better term doom.
Then I saw a weird hyperface, bejeweled and radiating bits of geometry. This face was the hyperspatial Thalia and Melpomene mask and it was synaesthetically playing out my thoughts and emotions.
One moment I was fighting and dreading the trip and I saw the frowny face.
Then I just tried to let go and kind of said to myself, “Hey there is a lot of beauty here,” and the face/mask instantly transformed into the happy face. I remember mumbling, “That’s weird.”
The field went kind of just black but things were far from over.
Within a minute I was shown a kind of exquisite heaven - a very 3D space with the right side of my vision an off white field and the left side of my vision filled with hard to remember and describe alien spinning devices and machines. Moving synaesthetically with the music and in the deepest, brightest colors, lots of oranges, golds and blues, the colors were generated from bright, deep, saturated lights within.
It was bright, open, crazy beautiful and just felt like maybe what I was perceiving as alien machines might have been how I was viewing very happy souls. All spinning in these conglomorations that looked mechanical and device like. All very connected in all ways and happy. I felt welcome yet like an alien. The place was suffused with a kind of heavy, high energetic joy. Everything in every way felt kind of high pitched.
Sometimes within this space an object would form, then it would replicate itself up or down until there was a row of the same vibrating gorgeous objects all moving in synchrony. The left side of the room was full of these things.
Things backed off from looking so very polished and perfect into more synaesthetic visions of objects, faces and anthropomorphic sillhouettes lining up and doing weird alien dances to the music.
The feelings were super calm at this point, the body load was backing off.
Holy Bastet, I don’t think I’m going to be able to breakthrough. Not unless I can force it. Maybe use a dabbing rig like the Hamr and do it all in one massive, inescapable toke.
So much heaviness, so much dread, so much exquisite off the charts beauty.
Yikes DMT Yikes.
AFTERMATH & ANALYSIS:
I think about the dark/difficult part and I just find myself mumbling, “Oh wow,” “phew,” and “yikes.” It was not fun, to say the least. Excessively stressful. Testing my skills to the limit and my skills were found to be a bit wanting. Skills like letting go, surrendering, just letting it happen, not letting panic rise, remembering that this was time limited so just buckle up. I mean I got the job done, but frankly it shouldn’t have felt like a job. I shouldn’t have felt like I needed to open my eyes or reach out to my cat.
I think about the heavenly part and I feel light, lit up, calm, aware of my breath. I sigh, trying to remember so much that is already lost and so much that defies description. A VERY rarified place. Like a mechanical corner of heaven.
A very strong reminder that the most beautiful things I have seen in over half a century of life have been in hyperspace.
For the rest of the afternoon I felt a little weird. And the left side kept being an issue. I would stand up and feel a bit dizzy and lean to the left.
As each hour passed this resolved and once I went back and worked over 4 solid straight hours and grabbed a burrito while I was out, I came home feeling completely grounded and normal.
I awakened the next day feeling good and cheerful yet also concerned/worried. I know better. I cannot believe I actually tried to fight a DMT trip.
Also I find myself thinking about that 10 mgs handshake. It was kind of dark, weird maybe a bit creepy. At the time I did not think about it but perhaps that was a warning from my subconscious set + DMT. Hindsight always gives a different perspective than when I am in the moment.
I have also been thinking about all those harmalas I smoked. A 12 mins DMT trip is desirable if it goes well. But I found the lead up to things going well to be just this side of excrutiating. Too fricken much time to think, worry, regret.
So, DMT-Church was a bit of the ole’ symbolic fire and brimstone this go around.
Knowing my tendencies to be like a curious cat who cannot let something go, I suspect I may be able to participate in a small way in the memorial SHE being planned for April 8th.
Time will tell and clearly whatever happens is meant to be.
(mind)Set: Perhaps not ideal in hindsight. It felt right at the time, but that was the only time I had to do it
(physical condition) Set: Feeling good. Had worked a lot that day and was looking forward to working a lot more.
Setting (location): The usual - in bed, cats chilling on bed
time of day: (12 or 24 hour system, daylight? starlight? overcast?) Around 11:00 a.m.
recent drug use: (list also any kind of medication) cannabis and harmalas, lions mane and niacin (1 month break psilocybin to reset for Stamets Stack) and the usual OTC stuff that people in their 50's take - allergy pills, reflux pills, vitamins
last meal: (Time and type) Light - big veggie salad
PARTICIPANT
Gender: (m / f) Female
body weight: (in kg pls) 62.5 KG
known sensitivities: MDMA hard roll at 75 to 80 mgs; cannot take benzos due to paradoxical reaction.
history of use: (experienced, novice, first timer - in general and for this specific substance/form) VERY experienced 2009 to 2016. Back after 7 years and feeling a bit like a noob
BIOASSAY
Substance(s): (list all taken substances) Bowl of weed with maybe 40 mgs (eyeballed) fb harmalas smoked, DMT at 10 mgs, then DMT at 25 mgs.
Dose(s): (in the same order as Substances pls, use metric system i.e. g/ mg/ �g) Bowl of weed with maybe 40 mgs harmalas on top, DMT 10 mgs then DMT 25 mgs.
Method of administration: (dissolved in water, capsuls, insufflated, vaporized...) weed and harmalas smoked, DMT vaped
EFFECTS
Administration time: T=0:00 (expand this if you used delayed administration for multiple substances or the same substance with multiple doses. Use indices.) 2 hits first 10 mgs DMT, 3 big hits 25 mgs DMT
Duration: (x hours) 8 mins for the 10 mgs and 12 mins for the 25 mgs
First effects: Profound anxiety, open eyed reality ripping at the seams
Peak: (estimate a time range and note as e.g. T=2:00-4:00 for a range of 2 hours beginning 2 hours after administration) A couple minutes for the first dose, probably more like 3 to 5 on the second
Come down: Fast on the first one. Took hours and return to work to feel back fully on 2nd one.
Baseline: 4 hours after administration.
Intensity (overall): (use HRS-like scale i.e. 0-4: 0 = "Not at all;" 1 = "Slightly;" 2 = "Moderately;" 3 = "Quite a bit;" 4 = "Extremely.")
Evaluation / notes: 3
OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: (0-4) 3
Implesantness: (0-4) 3
Visual Intensity: (0-4) 3
.
.
.
AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: (0-4 ; what type of impleasantness ; duration) About 4 hours of feeling weird and as if I was being pulled to the left
Afterglow: (0-4 ; what type of positive effects ; duration) A great appreciation for the everyday, the mundane, the intensity and duration of my work
REPORT
INTRODUCTION:
I spent some time just trying to get my head together, get on top of the anxiety.
Once again I decided to try 10 mgs to see if the waters were welcoming . . . I was very pleased how last time that completely quelled the anxiety and made me feel a bit disconnected/flat/like a disinvested observer.
I loaded 10 mgs into my GVG and measured out another 30 mgs, keeping it handy, but safe from cats.
The 8 minute experience was hectic, dark, spinning and full of geometric solids and faces.
At that point I was feeling a bit hesitant about 30 mgs so decided to try 25 first.
THE MAIN EXPERIENCE:
This one lasted 12 minutes.
I cannot fricken believe it. I just got an Abrahamic Religion (something I not only do not endorse but blame for much that is wrong in the world) themed trip, complete with judgement, hell and heaven! Of course I’ve never seen Gods or Goddesses (other than an exquisite crystalline ornament once LOL) in hyperspace or demons or devils and they did not appear this time either.
What the hell/heaven?!!?? Oh man, typical DMT. Just never telling where I’m going to go on the ride once I have the ticket clutched in my sweaty palm.
This extraction felt different from the other batch. Either that or my different sets affected things. The new felt more mechanical/digital than the other which felt more organic. Of course I never went over 20 on the old and did 10 then 25 of the new.
It was very hard to do. The body load felt huge. I was feeling distinct anxiety on the third hit because the room was already becoming radically distorted, reality was ripping at the seams as Shpongle sings.
The onset was dark background with sharp and fantastic multi colored lines and patterns opening up into planes and rooms. My mind was scattered.
I felt panicked and opened my eyes a couple times. I was trying to resist the very strong impulse to fight the trip and it was incredibly difficult. And YET. The truth is when my eyes opened, they kept falling shut, my ability to fight it was not profound. The thickening visions behind closed eyes were trying to overlay on what I was seeing with open eyes. This was almost 100% mental. I stayed on my bed.
Neith the puffy tabby with a white chest kitty was there on the granny square blanket and everything was moving in blurry waves. The granny squares were super brightly colored, again the colors seeming to have an inner light. This is a theme I have been noticing about colors on non breakthrough doses.
Neith just sat there and became a self-transforming fluffy cat, an uber fluffy cat, a weird hypercat that was blurry and grinning, a furry black and white dog, a panda bear, all super cute and out of reach in all iterations, all vibrating. I felt like she helped me to calm down a bit by just sticking her position and vibrating.
I was finally able to let go enough and my eyes closed for for the rest of the experience. I tried to focus on breathing but the first half was difficult and stressful. It’s like I was judged. Found to be too judgemental, found to be talking too much about DMT, found to be too angry. Haha, none of this is a surprise to me.
I was shown a kind of dark hell that was a chaotic mess, of dark rooms but no entities that I recall. I have no details on visions due to a very intentional act of not remembering. I can remember DMT trips by making an effort. If I do not make the effort I do not get the memories in my conscious mind. But, the feeling was one of pure dread, futility and for lack of a better term doom.
Then I saw a weird hyperface, bejeweled and radiating bits of geometry. This face was the hyperspatial Thalia and Melpomene mask and it was synaesthetically playing out my thoughts and emotions.
One moment I was fighting and dreading the trip and I saw the frowny face.
Then I just tried to let go and kind of said to myself, “Hey there is a lot of beauty here,” and the face/mask instantly transformed into the happy face. I remember mumbling, “That’s weird.”
The field went kind of just black but things were far from over.
Within a minute I was shown a kind of exquisite heaven - a very 3D space with the right side of my vision an off white field and the left side of my vision filled with hard to remember and describe alien spinning devices and machines. Moving synaesthetically with the music and in the deepest, brightest colors, lots of oranges, golds and blues, the colors were generated from bright, deep, saturated lights within.
It was bright, open, crazy beautiful and just felt like maybe what I was perceiving as alien machines might have been how I was viewing very happy souls. All spinning in these conglomorations that looked mechanical and device like. All very connected in all ways and happy. I felt welcome yet like an alien. The place was suffused with a kind of heavy, high energetic joy. Everything in every way felt kind of high pitched.
Sometimes within this space an object would form, then it would replicate itself up or down until there was a row of the same vibrating gorgeous objects all moving in synchrony. The left side of the room was full of these things.
Things backed off from looking so very polished and perfect into more synaesthetic visions of objects, faces and anthropomorphic sillhouettes lining up and doing weird alien dances to the music.
The feelings were super calm at this point, the body load was backing off.
Holy Bastet, I don’t think I’m going to be able to breakthrough. Not unless I can force it. Maybe use a dabbing rig like the Hamr and do it all in one massive, inescapable toke.
So much heaviness, so much dread, so much exquisite off the charts beauty.
Yikes DMT Yikes.
AFTERMATH & ANALYSIS:
I think about the dark/difficult part and I just find myself mumbling, “Oh wow,” “phew,” and “yikes.” It was not fun, to say the least. Excessively stressful. Testing my skills to the limit and my skills were found to be a bit wanting. Skills like letting go, surrendering, just letting it happen, not letting panic rise, remembering that this was time limited so just buckle up. I mean I got the job done, but frankly it shouldn’t have felt like a job. I shouldn’t have felt like I needed to open my eyes or reach out to my cat.
I think about the heavenly part and I feel light, lit up, calm, aware of my breath. I sigh, trying to remember so much that is already lost and so much that defies description. A VERY rarified place. Like a mechanical corner of heaven.
A very strong reminder that the most beautiful things I have seen in over half a century of life have been in hyperspace.
For the rest of the afternoon I felt a little weird. And the left side kept being an issue. I would stand up and feel a bit dizzy and lean to the left.
As each hour passed this resolved and once I went back and worked over 4 solid straight hours and grabbed a burrito while I was out, I came home feeling completely grounded and normal.
I awakened the next day feeling good and cheerful yet also concerned/worried. I know better. I cannot believe I actually tried to fight a DMT trip.
Also I find myself thinking about that 10 mgs handshake. It was kind of dark, weird maybe a bit creepy. At the time I did not think about it but perhaps that was a warning from my subconscious set + DMT. Hindsight always gives a different perspective than when I am in the moment.
I have also been thinking about all those harmalas I smoked. A 12 mins DMT trip is desirable if it goes well. But I found the lead up to things going well to be just this side of excrutiating. Too fricken much time to think, worry, regret.
So, DMT-Church was a bit of the ole’ symbolic fire and brimstone this go around.
Knowing my tendencies to be like a curious cat who cannot let something go, I suspect I may be able to participate in a small way in the memorial SHE being planned for April 8th.
Time will tell and clearly whatever happens is meant to be.
