zenith
Rising Star
Hello fellow travellers, not been around for a few years so I thought id better pop a post in here. I joined this site many years ago, during my first faltering steps to a taste of this awesome molecule, mere words cannot even begin to explain the things iv seen, felt, heard and became, In senses that i didnt even know existed! With such breathtaking HD clearness, clarity and more real than real realness. Well if your reading this you know what I mean.
Ok a bit of my history. I look back from the point im being right this moment, the path thats made my being be as it be`s and i feel ok.:d Iv struggled a big chunk of that time with substance abuse, everything iv ever tried id cane myself half nearly to death with it, this went on through many different substances finally culminating in a heroin habit. I know some of you have been there to. What a pitiful miserable and desperate existence that turned out to be. But hey i couldnt even see it cause that shit makes you deaf dumb and blind. Oh the lies id tell myself and believe them too. ok so 10 years i was on that hook, prisons, rehabs, nothing working. But then finally I stuck a rehab out for the six months i could stay there, it was heavily 12 steps based but it got me through one of the hardest most painful things iv been through in my life so far, every day for months that relentless nagging in your head for just one more. So im on the program and its working, i feel like using im straight to a meet. That went on for 3yrs, I didnt touch a thing apart from coffee and fags, but i still felt empty, couldnt feel this serenity they were talking about. Anyway one day it just popped into my head `Ayahuasca,' bit of reading 'DMT' bonus just what that big hole inside me needed to fill it, of course seeing as it was the best ever thing id experienced, along with the other things it was waking up inside me it awoke 'ye old more demons' and im launching whenever i can, with the wrong attitude and intention. So Dimitri taught me a lesson il never forget, scared the life out of me literally, enough to put it all down again for a few of years. But i felt that calling again recently, still had a box with some items in, I was a bit fearful of it being like the last one id had which put me off, but it was fine ,all that love all everything:d Wow.. So im back a bit wiser, more mature, a lot more respect and a different attitude and intention. Will be posting a lot more hopefully.
Love
Zenith
Ok a bit of my history. I look back from the point im being right this moment, the path thats made my being be as it be`s and i feel ok.:d Iv struggled a big chunk of that time with substance abuse, everything iv ever tried id cane myself half nearly to death with it, this went on through many different substances finally culminating in a heroin habit. I know some of you have been there to. What a pitiful miserable and desperate existence that turned out to be. But hey i couldnt even see it cause that shit makes you deaf dumb and blind. Oh the lies id tell myself and believe them too. ok so 10 years i was on that hook, prisons, rehabs, nothing working. But then finally I stuck a rehab out for the six months i could stay there, it was heavily 12 steps based but it got me through one of the hardest most painful things iv been through in my life so far, every day for months that relentless nagging in your head for just one more. So im on the program and its working, i feel like using im straight to a meet. That went on for 3yrs, I didnt touch a thing apart from coffee and fags, but i still felt empty, couldnt feel this serenity they were talking about. Anyway one day it just popped into my head `Ayahuasca,' bit of reading 'DMT' bonus just what that big hole inside me needed to fill it, of course seeing as it was the best ever thing id experienced, along with the other things it was waking up inside me it awoke 'ye old more demons' and im launching whenever i can, with the wrong attitude and intention. So Dimitri taught me a lesson il never forget, scared the life out of me literally, enough to put it all down again for a few of years. But i felt that calling again recently, still had a box with some items in, I was a bit fearful of it being like the last one id had which put me off, but it was fine ,all that love all everything:d Wow.. So im back a bit wiser, more mature, a lot more respect and a different attitude and intention. Will be posting a lot more hopefully.
Love
Zenith
