Well not sure exactly what im supposed to type out for an intro but I figured id give it a shot. I guess for starters im 26, male, and I guess im doing ok in life. Up until recently I have had little to no experience with drugs, I don't even drink. I have a few friends that smoke from time to time and although I don't participate I have no problem being around it. Back in September of last year while passing time on youtube I somehow stumbled upon this video and it felt like everything inside me told me I needed that stuff. I spent the next 2 months or so trying to read as much as I could about anything and everything relating to dmt. After I felt like I had read enough to be comfortable giving it a shot I acquired what I needed to acquire the experience.
First experience was with my recent ex, I was having huge doubts about if I should share with her but by that night she had told me its her choice and she wanted to try it to see if it would help with her anger/depression issues. She wanted to go first, things went well and overall she feels better for doing it. For some reason I had the terrible idea that we take it orally as two separate syrian rue/acacia brews out of respect to the plants. I didn't filter the liquid very well and to be honest I don't think it would have mattered. At first I thought the syrian rue was the worst thing I could ever drink, about 20 minutes later I changed my mind after drinking the acacia. I was out for ~3 hours, I did not get the fancy visuals I had read about however I do not feel cheated at all. It was like I looped inside my own mind and was able to experience myself from the inside out. It was great, fun might not be the word, but it was something I felt I should do again.
A couple weekends later I thought I should go for a second round. I felt like I needed it like there was something specific to it I missed the first time. Luckily I accidentally acquired too much materials and was able to come up with plenty for several sessions. To avoid the terrible taste I went out of my way to get everything to fit in capsules to take orally. First capsule contained ~200mg of the sap like result from acacia extraction. This was a very neat experience that could easily be a horror movie or two. It seemed to get cut short somehow ~ 3.5 hours later. As soon as I was conscious enough to talk, I asked my ex to get me a second capsule. I took the second and drifted in and out and in the end I really have no memories after taking it. I woke up some 4 hours later feeling tired but I just couldn't sleep.
Again a few weeks later, I did something stupid. Feeling a little cheated because I could not remember what happened the time before I doubled up right away thinking im not going to play around and ill get where I wanted to get what I wanted. I ended up taking ~460mg of acacia goo. This started out like the other times, seemed familiar then turned to something completely different. While out I guess I was taken over or possessed by something. According to my babysitter (ex gf) I started to talk while out, and it was clear who/what she was talking to wasn't me. I feel bad as it was a terrifying experience for her despite it not appearing to be a malicious entity. On my end I remember feeling completely released and things were very abstract as I existed as something that was decentralized and existing in several dimensions as multiple unified consciousnesses. I remember feeling complete and true as if that was what natural to me, I knew all about all sorts of stuff and had memories that went back long before my life. I hit a point where I felt like I should return to my body, I remember knowing that id forget knowledge/memories if I returned. I was then in and out of consciousness, each time feeling separate from what I was. I seemed to hover around a point where I was who I am here and now and I was able to communicate with what I was but really all I got out of it all was that I was not going to remember anything outside of the experience itself.
And here I am now, prepping the last of what I have. I must be stupid because I am wanting to go at it again. I feel I must specify I do not feel as if im addicted to this stuff, although I am not scared of it, I can easily see how this stuff can terrify or overwhelm most people. I suppose in general it helps that before all of this, I have accepted my life, I have no real regrets, no real fears, nothing I would change really. I think all of that helps me or at least helps keep my experiences from overwhelming me. I do wonder if I am actually as sane as I want to believe I am. So much of what I have experienced before should turn me away from it all but for whatever reason I still feel like I NEED to do it. I don't when or how it will end, I can only hope it ends well.
First experience was with my recent ex, I was having huge doubts about if I should share with her but by that night she had told me its her choice and she wanted to try it to see if it would help with her anger/depression issues. She wanted to go first, things went well and overall she feels better for doing it. For some reason I had the terrible idea that we take it orally as two separate syrian rue/acacia brews out of respect to the plants. I didn't filter the liquid very well and to be honest I don't think it would have mattered. At first I thought the syrian rue was the worst thing I could ever drink, about 20 minutes later I changed my mind after drinking the acacia. I was out for ~3 hours, I did not get the fancy visuals I had read about however I do not feel cheated at all. It was like I looped inside my own mind and was able to experience myself from the inside out. It was great, fun might not be the word, but it was something I felt I should do again.
A couple weekends later I thought I should go for a second round. I felt like I needed it like there was something specific to it I missed the first time. Luckily I accidentally acquired too much materials and was able to come up with plenty for several sessions. To avoid the terrible taste I went out of my way to get everything to fit in capsules to take orally. First capsule contained ~200mg of the sap like result from acacia extraction. This was a very neat experience that could easily be a horror movie or two. It seemed to get cut short somehow ~ 3.5 hours later. As soon as I was conscious enough to talk, I asked my ex to get me a second capsule. I took the second and drifted in and out and in the end I really have no memories after taking it. I woke up some 4 hours later feeling tired but I just couldn't sleep.
Again a few weeks later, I did something stupid. Feeling a little cheated because I could not remember what happened the time before I doubled up right away thinking im not going to play around and ill get where I wanted to get what I wanted. I ended up taking ~460mg of acacia goo. This started out like the other times, seemed familiar then turned to something completely different. While out I guess I was taken over or possessed by something. According to my babysitter (ex gf) I started to talk while out, and it was clear who/what she was talking to wasn't me. I feel bad as it was a terrifying experience for her despite it not appearing to be a malicious entity. On my end I remember feeling completely released and things were very abstract as I existed as something that was decentralized and existing in several dimensions as multiple unified consciousnesses. I remember feeling complete and true as if that was what natural to me, I knew all about all sorts of stuff and had memories that went back long before my life. I hit a point where I felt like I should return to my body, I remember knowing that id forget knowledge/memories if I returned. I was then in and out of consciousness, each time feeling separate from what I was. I seemed to hover around a point where I was who I am here and now and I was able to communicate with what I was but really all I got out of it all was that I was not going to remember anything outside of the experience itself.
And here I am now, prepping the last of what I have. I must be stupid because I am wanting to go at it again. I feel I must specify I do not feel as if im addicted to this stuff, although I am not scared of it, I can easily see how this stuff can terrify or overwhelm most people. I suppose in general it helps that before all of this, I have accepted my life, I have no real regrets, no real fears, nothing I would change really. I think all of that helps me or at least helps keep my experiences from overwhelming me. I do wonder if I am actually as sane as I want to believe I am. So much of what I have experienced before should turn me away from it all but for whatever reason I still feel like I NEED to do it. I don't when or how it will end, I can only hope it ends well.
