Thank you very much for your replies and also for a tip for an interesting literature !

That is exactly what I was told, that I was in between a normal state and psychosis according to my Word-Associations, so that Rispen would bring me closer to myself. Whatever that was supposed to mean...

Maybe I should really look for a hypnosis and psychoanalyst, I will consider it... So this time, I will concentrate “only“ on creating experience filled with love, joy and creativity.

BTW, I have that Rispen and Neurol (benzodiazepine derivates; aprazolam), so I would like to ask, what dose of each and in what ratio to shrooms should I use, if I or my friends start to have a negative experience. My friends are going for the first time and I suspect, that they may have some troubles... Unlike me, they have not read any literature on subject, maybe an article or two, and I am not sure how one will deal with that partial loss of self control and he is a person who keeps to himself a lot, so it is hard for me to predict his reaction, while the other one had a depression few months ago and to be fair I do not know this person for a very long time, so i am concerned with them.