Yeah I realized after posting that it read like an incredibly long run on sentence.  Usually pretty good about that as well.

Support is a very big reason for me actually becoming active on this board.  Never been active on a board before. Lots of social anxieties which Ive reinforced over the years have spilled over into every aspect of my life.  I am aware of it and trying to find a way to break learned behaviors... with certain chemicals and therapeutic approaches. I dont know too many people who have done a very good job at integrating their psychedelic experiences to better there physical existence, and this place seems rich with them.  That is what I plan on attempting to do.  I really need some people in my life who can help reality check my intentions using certain chemicals, and my current supports just dont have the life experience I need for an adequate answer to why I should or shouldn't use certain chemicals to improve my life.

As for the opiates.  I dont ever see myself going back to them.  I realize they grounded me.  I had no positive reaffirmation for what I was going through, due to who I surrounded myself with, my views only seemed acceptable when using psychedelics with people.  To ground myself in between I medicated with opiates.  Not to mention the risk vs. reward just doesn't pan out in opiates favor after living through that nightmare.

There will never be any problems with me as far as the attitude required for this board goes.  Thats the attitude I live my life with. I know what is and what is not acceptable.  Nothing but respect and thirst for knowledge from me.

Peace.