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Hello! Trying-to-be-viking shaman introducing!

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ratpoison

Rising Star
Summary:

23 year old male from western Norway. Fair amount of experience with all kinds of drugs and psychedelics; 2c-b, LSD, ketamine but main expertise is mushrooms and hashish and I've tried countless others, but none worth mentioning or that I learned something from/about. I play around with all the brewing ingredients in the time being, trying to learn every single one, their spirits and characteristics, and also their effects on my health problems. I also make extracts, changa and the like and experiment with it, but I'm a true oral-route-nerd and much rather prefer to make brew with extra herbal ingredients for medicinal effects. I have a quite special and fair amount of psychological insight and life wisdom, and have been quite lucky if you can call it that, to have experienced a wide array of perspectives to an almost impossible puzzle, however early and fast it happened.

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Life story :

Or something like that. I'm not very largely built, I'm a small and slim bodied young man at the age of 23 from the western coast in Norway. And by accident I'm into shamanism, specifically healing with different sorts of plants, mushrooms, and now also starting ayahuasca. I'm a diagnosis manual for the western doctor, but he could never help me :lol:

I used to be a drug addict of the heavy sort, not like using needles, but how the addiction worked in my head. Imagine bi-polar ADHD-snaps with manic drug abuse patterns. My problem has been sporadic abuse of different drugs as a way to cover what in the end appeared to be some sort of PTSD after emotional abuse and parental divorce at a young age (my father was no good as well), and all my drug abuse eventually ended up in a paranoid schizo-like psychosis with heavy narcissistic tendencies, reality loss, paranoid hallucinations etc. which I am now working on curing with traditional shamanistic plants.

In the middle of all this stuff I ended up with the reason I started to use these things in the first place - psychedelics, and more specifically - mushrooms. After abusing a lot of ketamine, wrong-shots with mushrooms and way too much 2C-B to the point of getting HPPD, I ended up on a more serious path. At first I had some good experiences but carrying no serious long-term results, as I see now as a consequence of no dieta, sexual segregation, set, setting, etc. Then I met my girlfriend which turned into a pretty heavy relationship. As traumatized as I am myself, she also had her baggage, and my drug abuse escalated like hell, we fought like hell, lived and loved like hell at the same time, but it was all a mess that ruined us as much as it developed us.

And then we started to discover healing, and tripping together. Experiencing this deep love definately opened up something in me that allowed for deeper spiritual success, and we had many nice experiences together, until one day, we ate some abort mushrooms, 1.5g of psilocybe cubensis of the smallest type which are said to be a little more potent, but this much was over the top...

And the room cracked open. I could see into the universal energy behind everything, pulsating, beating, feeling kind of like a changa hit, only much slower and more powerful. I saw some entities made out of white cosmic energy, humanoid in apperance, standing on some sort of throne/mass. "Angels"? Hehe... Most definately... All of a sudden some green face is covering my whole vision, I am unable to see the room as anything more than a shadow in the background, and everything was filled with letters. They were spelling "WE NEED YOU", written in a matrix grid, while intense metallic radio noises were going through my head. This passed, and I could feel some sort of force, almost like gravity, going out of me and into my girlfriend, who also had her own but different experience.

This was not like anything else, this trip felt so cosmic, so high frequency, so peaceful, and so important. By accident one day I found a document from '08 that I had gotten sent by messenger from a friend which had some information about the shamanistic calling. I also asked my shaman who these green faced entities were, and he meant that they are dead shamans or something like that. By then I was sure. The shamanistic calling. I started doing periods of sexual segregation, diet and heavy mushroom trips, 5+ grams every time and mostly ending up eating upwards 20 grams during the whole session. The heaviest trips consisted of full-body spasming for more than two hours on the peak, body folding into yoga positions, stretching to impossible limits and last but not least hyperventilating, more than one hour straight in highspeed without fainting once actually, while feeling my body pumped from negative energy. This was really something. I started learning a lot about eating, living, thinking and so on, and also working on learning healing and meditation/yoga-techniques.

Then after things and thangs, cocaine came knocking, and I really thought at that point that I was sane, in control and could have a flirt with this for a night or two, but damn that shit fucked with my head. And I ended up tripping on acid after taking it, and I actually had a psychosis on cocaine, LSD and diazepam, which I had been addicted to before, leading it to backfire 20 times stronger when using it for badtrips. I also used it one time later very close to an acid trip, and my personality was definately changed at the time we ate the tabs, and my body and mind not at all recovered. After all this shit I thought I was normal, because hey, guess what, that's how cocaine works and twists the ego. I would never have thought that the delusions can be this heavy inside the human mind... And because after all my rituals, my life was going great, I had made my own conclusion that I was pretty much cured of all my suffering, feeling quite good that I could use mushrooms for all that I used it to, and concluding that I was a happy person. Manic psychosis is what they call it I guess. So I used more drugs, got threatened on my life in some situations, struggling with trauma from my friend suffering from sexual assault leading to him becoming totally ruined and addicted to heroin, and also living with the faint memory that one of my best friends, or well at least my best drug friend from childhood, died from overdose a bit more than a year before. My psychosis exploded.

Then I got called by ayahuasca.

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And that's where I'm cutting the way too long story, I just felt that I needed to bring a quick long overview to demonstrate what I'm trying to do, trying to achieve, but also what I need help with and what I can share knowledge about. I'm pretty much dedicating my life to this task, as I see it as the only way I can find a nice, challenging way of living, filling my curiosity and curing my ailments, but also because I feel that the medicine is important for the development of the whole world towards an ideal goal and for the wellbeing of all.
 
Welcome, it's a very adventurous path ;). Enjoy your stay and for the most part enjoy what you're doing and be safe. I am going through the same path without the drug abuse history aspect :p. Here is an advice for an aspiring shaman. Just don't forget life is like music, the point is not to reach to the end note but to sing/dance/have fun on the journey. :)
 
Sounds great, and we are glad to have you! A great thing they helped you heal and discover some things about yourself and the universe. Seems you had a dark history of drugabuse, but looking into the future finding your way out of that will make you very strong and resilient.


Have a good one, peace.
 
Awesome my family is half Norwegian and my other half is pretty much anglo-American.

Welcome, Rat Poison!

Your auto-biography is interesting. You speak as if you came from a long way, yet there seems much yet unreached. judging by your enthusiasm to learn and grow as a shaman, and human being as well.

I 'am sorry about your friend's passing...

I once took a good friend from school, an oxycotton addict under my wing with my parent's consent. I gave him first my bed okay I thought I've got new soft carpet, Than he needed a job so oh well I don't drive my car often, even though while I went traveling for a few weeks he caused my Chevy $1,000 of damage to repair It's alright man, I said I'll take the heat this one time." but slowly over time, Harmonik (aka website programmer for www.opiophile.com) stayed for 8 months so he could get on his feet. While I tryed to help him over come his addiction and suicidal tendencies, than everything was going great until one day 7 and 1/2 months later he stole from my father's business $3000 in forged checks only two hours before he started singing happy birthday to my father. And my father called the police on him, but sent him a bus ticket to live with his meth inspired artist for a sister. He was one of my best friends I totally forgive him now, but these addicts need all the help they can get, and more. Crazy huh?

Anyway... Rat Poison we all come from many strange walks of life. Don't beat yourself up for anything you didn't cause. You seem cool, and adamant on retaining the natural essence of plants. Ayahuasca (100gms- B. Cappi + 60gms- Chacruna both found on Ebay.) is not hard to concoct, just boil plants separately for 8 hours with a splash of lemon concentrate on what you desire to achieve during partaking. B. Cappi contains MAOI so abstain 4 to 6 weeks from SSRI's before ingestion. Chacruna or *Psychotria Viridis contains around %0.2 DMT, which = around 100 to 140 mg of total, but Virola bark contains super potent tryptamine 5-meo-DMT as well as nn-DMT. Not exactly for the week hearted.

But I strongly advise you read read and read. And grow mushrooms, that's not my two cent but everyone here will tell you just that

SALUTATIONS, RAT POISON!!!
 
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