What books did you like reading? I agree that you should get grounded by getting any type of job (even better maybe to try an apprenticeship at an IT firm) to earn cash to try to slowly start to become independent. It is of no use to have a mystical experience/s and then have to come back to a difficult reality - that seems like it would be escapism, IMO. Better to 1st en devour to secure your own space, ie, an apartment (or commune), focus on health (eating well/exercising/meditating) + possible making time for social responsibility (ie, assisting at old-age homes + the elderly, and assisting at homeless shelters, children's homes, etc) and if you like music, go out to clubs/events that play the genres you like where you will meet people that enjoy the same culture as you do. Then when those aspects of your life are developing, then it would be appropriate to start thinking about what Plant Spirits you would like to invite into your life (if that is your predilection) + do as much research as possible on the Plants and Shamanism, etc. The last recourse would be imbibing the sacraments to make direct contact with these Spirit Teachers, in a safe space with a trusted/experienced sitter.