Hello, world

[Commode0999]

Hi all, I started on this journey because I wanted to make my life better. A while ago I fell into a deep depression. After about 5 years I got treatment. I was rejected by 6 therapists who said they did not have the capacity to help me. I was given heavy doses of anti depressants, sleep aids, and stimulants. I no longer wanted to kill myself. After another few years passed I realized I simply didn't care. I was comfortable in the misery and these drugs were just a bandaid. I began to feel as though I had a broken leg and instead of getting surgery I was just taking pills to numb the pain as my shattered bones continued to rip and tear at me with every step. After some research, I began to equate psychedelics to surgery. Still a process, but a process that I could come out of able to stand on my own two feet, drug free. After my first dose my life changed. I talked to my father about my problems and they materialized in front of me along with the solutions. I quit everything from the doctors and now take dmt and lsd instead. Instead of just not wanting to kill myself, I have found a love for life. I have dreams and I am fighting for them. I don't wallow in self pity and I love myself. I've rekindled the relationships I abandoned and have found new ones. I take lsd every friday and dmt 1-3 times a day. Psychedelics saved my life and I want to share that love.

Thanks for reading

 

[Sicho Naut]

Glad to hear that you have found these improvements. How long have you been doing this new "treatment" (lsd every week and dmt every day)? Do you take breakthrough dosages of DMT?

 

[Pandora]

Commode0999,

Welcome to the Nexus. It sounds like you have been on quite a journey.

I too am interested in how long this has been working for you?

Out of curiosity, would you describe yourself as young, in prime, mid age or older?

Have you had an opportunity to extract your own spice yet.

I hope to see you around and again welcome you.

 

[Commode0999]

Hi Pandora and psychonautt, thanks for your interest in my story . I would describe myself as young. I have been doing the lsd for about 5 months and my daily dmt usage started about 4 months ago. I attempt breakthroughs every time, but right now I have only used carts and they get harder as they get low and are sometimes too powerful when they are full (got attacked my aliens a few times recently :lol: ). I recently got myself a mighty+ to fix this, I know some people have struggled with it but my options are somewhat limited. Still need to materialize some dmt that isn't mixed with ejuice before I can use it though. I haven't attempted extracting my own spice and I don't think I will.

The treatment has been working well, it feels like I am alive for the first time. I went from resisting everything in my life and hating every change to being an open and happy person. I go for walks, visit art galleries, go swimming, exercise, have picnics, meditate, volunteer. All of this I do completely sober. The dmt and lsd is creating lasting changes in me that are helping me learn to love myself and the world we all share.

Thanks all for the warm welcome, I hope to keep posting, I have a few ideas in mind already. I'll probably give a review of the mighty+ and any tricks I figure out, I might make a post addressing some extremely bizarre trips I had recently and what I think the source of these trips may be for me, and a post reviewing some of the different perspectives I have had in trips.

 

[ABe©eDarian]

Hi Commode0999, and welcome to the Nexus.

Daily dmt and weekly lsd sounds like a lot but it's not for me to judge whether or not that is good for you. Everyone is different. Is any of it microdosing or are all these full doses every time? While doing that are you able to sleep ok? I used to have mania which at the time was productive for creativity but eventually started feeling myself getting old and had to enforce a new plan of balance in all things.

Cheers.

 

[Commode0999]

Hi abecedarian,
It is a lot, and yes, every dose is a full dose. Either enough to break through on dmt or about 100-200 ug for lsd. I have no trouble sleeping from the dmt, although the lsd does keep me up. I am an insomniac, I have had periods where I have no slept for 65 hours+, but since this new regiment I have not had trouble sleeping. I'd imagine the amount of dmt I take would reduce the quality of life of most people, but for now I am doing better than ever and will continue my use as long as this remains true . My goal is not to do this permanently though, like I said I treat it as a kind of surgery. The end goal is for my sober mind to be enough to keep me happy and stable and I think I will reach that point soon.

 

[Exitwound]

Welcome and may you find what you seek.
But daily DMT use sound rather extreme.
I’ve had binges on spice but 4 months of daily use is waaaay too much for a surgery. It might become brain transplant at some point IMHO

 

[Commode0999]

Hi Exitwound, it definitely is on the extreme side. For the last 4 months before my treatment I was so consumed by suicidal ideation that I would walk into poles and objects as if I was on my phone. I wasn't able to sustain a conversation. I would sit in the same place without moving for hours, just wallowing in my own misery. I was a thoroughly broken person. That darkness still pulls at me but dmt plunges me into vast pools of love and coming out of it pushes that darkness away. It might not be the normal way its used, but I don't have a normal condition. I'd rather take dmt on my lunch break and before bed then having to take about six pills in the morning, another two at lunch, and three to sleep. I used to spend every second of my life under the influence, now I spend twenty minutes a day. Obviously to a different level but for now this is making my life better and I plan to continue as long as its effects are positive. I have also talked to my doctor about this who agreed that although she could not recommend it, it was clear that the mental effects have been tremendously positive. Thank you for the guidance though!

 

[Sicho Naut]

Curious: How do you integrate weekly lsd-use into your life?

Although I find lsd one of the easiest psychedelics (headspace-wise), it is also very stimulating, which combined with the sheer duration of the substance always turns consuming it into a kind of 'shock', and it tends to mess up my sleep. This makes lsd one of the harder psychedelics to use on the regular, for me.

How does this go for you and how many micrograms are you taking?

 

[Commode0999]

Hi psychonautt. I take lsd every Friday at 4, and it keeps me up till about 1 or 2. I sometimes take melatonin which might help but it definitely does keep me up. I used stimulants for a few years though from my doctors, so I got better at being able to sleep through it. I think for most people shrooms would be a better substitute, but I get very bizarre and less insightful trips on shrooms so even though they would be more convenient I don't use them. I take 100-300 ug lsd. I find the most benefit in these trips when I have dinner at home with my family or my partner and we just talk about life and our problems, I end up turning into a tearful wreck most of the time but feel much better and more able to deal with the problems we talk about after. I normally have multiple breakthroughs on dmt during this time. I sometimes take marijuana to potentiate the lsd when it starts to get boring.

I'll walk you through my last Friday: got home, did some work until 4. Took 100ug lsd, kept working on a project I'd been putting off. After about 40 minutes I couldn't work anymore and turned on some sky projector things that light my room up with a bunch of inter meshing and spinning cloud clusters, and played some music. Thought about life for a while, then went out and spent some time with a family member who is staying with me. At about 10:15 I stepped out and had 3-5 30 second pulls of some thc concentrate. I came back, looked at my family members leg, and watched cartoons on it. I at about 10:45 I went to bed. Took a 10 second rip of a dmt cart, then got distracted by some funny paradox and forgot to hit it again. I reset for a few minutes after coming down, then went for the breakthrough, 3 ten second blinkers, very forceful so there was no nasty taste and I held each for 20 seconds with basically no breaths in between. Reality was dismissed with prejudice and I became a universe-entity. I gained sentience and after a few minutes I could vaguely remember other things and I could see myself in a hospital in a vegetative state. I thought of my girlfriend and she was a place within me, the dimension-being. I tried thinking about seeking help from this forum actually, but it was another place and I knew I wouldn't be able to access it. Eventually my brain began to rebuild itself, it felt like i had been chained deep under water and I was rushing to the surface to try and escape before my sanity was permanently consumed by the trip. Anyway, I came out of it, went "Dmt is awesome.", considered doing it again, then decided against it and went to sleep after about an hour of tossing and turning. Not the best sleep but when I woke up I was back to normal. Mixing thc in is newish for me, I don't recommend it unless you are extremely resilient to bad trips. The anxiety and potency in thc/dmt/lsd trips is, in my opinion, 5x more intense than a normal breakthrough. I am not recommending this as a treatment plan for others, especially not to start with. If I hadn't tripped many times before I would have almost certainly come out of that trip with some kind of pts. Instead, that trip reminded me the value of life and that I need to cherish my original, sober reality, even when it gets tough. I actually think it was pretty cool in hindsight and I am glad I had the trip. I am sort of just dumping this because that trip was last night and I am a little busy today so I won't get a chance to properly proof read it until later, but I do plan to make a trip report for this one cuz I took some notes on my phone as I was coming out of it and can remember it very well, and it was one of the most intense trips of my life.