Velcome!

I lost my dad in my early 20's aswell, and then 2 of my best friends shortly after, they were both good things to go through in the long run, to become aware of death at a young age & start to deeply question the nature of existence was a blessing in disguise. I also still feel very close to those that i appear to have lost.

Sounds like you had a very cool upbringing

You may be interested in reading up on 5-MeO-DMT if you are interested in near detah experiences, i've heard great things, im not suggesting you try it (i haven't yet) but i'm reading about it a lot right now & its very interesting.

See ya around...