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greyberg

Rising Star
An essay! APA 6th edition format work for the Nexus? HAHA.

This essay will be a look at how a 29 year old happily married father of two who comes from a very loving family and has never had any real issues in his life be either spiritually, mentally, physically searched out DMT. An avid user of psychedelics this guy eventually made his way to the grand daddy of them all after realizing that his voyages on other psychedelics were leaving him wanting more out of the experiences he was having and left him feeling like he was missing something.

Background

The writer of this essay is a very active and healthy 29 year old male. He plays 2 sports, works out/runs/does yoga almost every day. He is very confident and happy with himself and his place in life. He has a beautiful wife and 2 young and healthy kids for which he is thankful every second of the day. He has a good job and very little stress in his life. He has never had to worry about many of life’s issues that so many of his friends have had to deal with, be it broken homes or abuses or just general shitty life stuff that so many people have to deal with. I am very greatful for the hand I was dealt, and feel like I have done a good job living my opportunity to the fullest.

A note about “opportunity”. I feel that being human is an opportunity that we have been granted by the universe. I don’t think it should be wasted. Read, laugh, love, spend time with friends, do the things you love. Don’t waste too many minutes. When shitty thing happen, roll with it, keep moving forward, try not to wallow in it. Easy to say for me I guess, especially after I just pointed out that I have never had to deal with shit, but I have witnesses lots of shit first hand and have nothing but admiration for those around me who showed me what it is the be truly strong by carrying on. As humans we are supremely powerful.

Psychedelic Background.

I have used all sorts of psychedelics over the last 10 years ish I have been high alone probably 125 times to go along with the countless hundreds of times I got high and went to the bar with my friends. I have found a personal solace in being high, and know that it is my connection to the divine. I have no doubt in myself that psychedelics connect us to the greater univers that our senses we are given as humans can not perceive all the time. The senses are not attuned to see them, they are built for our survival, this is not a bad thing, it is a necessary thing for us to be finally able to attain a higher consciousness. You need to work on seeing the divine, you need to survive long enogh to get to a place where you can devote some time to your spiritual senses.

DMT.
After many many very large dose voyages on other psychedelics I started becoming interested in DMT because of its reputation of being the supreme psychedelic. I read a few books Strassman/Shulgin/Pinchbeck/Leary to get background info and visited the nexus a few times for pointers and tips which were so helpful words can not describe. Thanks for that. I was somewhat apprehensive at first simply due to the fact that I really likes Psilocybin and LSD. I eventually ended up moving towards DMT and going through the process of obtaining some. My first voyages were very intense and I had a tough time integrating my experiences, but I knew that there was much of value there. I was not going to let a few setbacks stop me for long. Eventually after exhibiting much patience and giving the DMT the respect it commanded I have been able to harness it a bit and take back some of the information I was getting on my trips. It took a bit for me to perfect my technique, I ordered a GVG and was not all that impressed at first, but eventually found a way that works for me to get full breakthroughs with one hit. It involves loading my GVG up with an unmeasured very large dose and using the thickness of the smoke as I inhale to guide my dose. I am able to increase the thickness at the end of the toke if necessary or if I hit it hard at first I can ease off a the end of the toke and get full breakthroughs every time. I think being able to control your dose in such a manner is a pretty useful tip or trick that is not really covered at length. (or maybe i missed it in my readings) Either way, this is how I do it and it works for me, every time. To each their own, know yourself and what you can handle and you will be fine.

Conclusion
I am very excited about continuing my personal journeys and gaining new insights. I appreciate this site and the work that has gone into it and that goes into keeping it at a high standard. I look forward to making further contributions. I wish I could offer more insight to other’s who are new to DMT, but all I ahve to offer is my personal reflections and journey. I will do my best to share my experiences and hopefully be able to make others feel as welcome here as I feel.



************* I am more than a little disapointed that the site will not let me format the essay in proper APA 6th edition.....:d
 
Hi greyberg,

a warm welcome to the forums! interesting essay. I like how you start out in the third person but then the narrator and the character somehow merge and well, there you are.

so from your psychedelic experiences you say you believe they connect you to the greater universe, the divine, and help us attain higher consciousness --- what do these things mean to you? What does a connection to the cosmos do, why is it important, what is the point? What is higher consciousness, or what is consciousness in general to you and why do you want it to become higher?
I'm asking because on first glance I would say I agree with what you wrote, but it's not clear to me what, for you, the background is behind all of these things. I have my own theories and reasons for seeking out connectedness and evolution of consciousness - if you tell me yours, maybe I'll tell you mine :p

Also about contributing - I think every entity in this forum can contribute a great deal to the community by their conduct and the support they offer to one another. Sometimes it's less about the insights but more about creating a space where the experiences can exist without the perturbation of judgement, stigma or secrecy. Communication and conduct in this sense are very great contributions, and we are happy for every member we get that intuitively and or consciously understands this.

much love
Enoon
 
You are more brave than I. I weigh out ever dose...every time. 1 too many Spice-whoopings.

Anyways, Welcome!!!

Very nice essay.
 
Enoon wrote:
you believe they connect you to the greater universe, the divine, and help us attain higher consciousness --- what do these things mean to you?
Everything and nothing all at the same time. There are moments in my life where I am 100% engaged in being human (loving, laughing, feeling sadness, etc) and in those moments the divine is nothing to me. Then there are moments where I connect to something so far out of what humans perceive on a day to day basis, and in those moments the greater universe and divinity are everything to me. I believe we are meant to be able to feel both separately and together. There are those special times where I am feeling human, but feel so fully connected to the divine or universe that words on a screen can never ever come close to explaining it. Deaths of people, births of people close to me, specifically births of my children things of that nature I can vividly recall feeling connected to the human realm and also full feel the presence of the higher realms at the same time.

what is consciousness in general to you and why do you want it to become higher?
Consciousness, or more specifically, what is consciousness is one of the driving questions for me. I am chasing the answer constantly. I am fascinated by it. When does it start, how does it come to be, what is it are all questions that I obsess over at times. I am not alone in this one which is comforting. To me at this point in time, keeping in mind that I reserve the right to change what I think at any moment based on anything, I think that consciousness is our energy, it can flow into and out of these human forms we have, I think there is a reason that we are put here (reason unknown) and that we have a purpose. I believe that the purpose is to experience things like love and hurt and happiness and pain. I go back to “opportunity” I feel like we are energies that were given this opportunity to be human. All of the good and the bad are meant for us to feel.
Connecting to a higher consciousness for me is just reassuring and reaffirming my role as a human. I know that the divine is there, I know it will ALWAYS be there and I know that I will end up back there. This is comforting and allows me to be an active part of here, now.
I am still unsure of what I think about when consciousness starts for us as humans. Two people make a baby. This is just biological mass until consciousness enters the game. When is that, I’m not sure, sometimes I think that it is immediate and your energy goes through the whole process of growing a body, and sometimes I think that it gets inserted a few days after being born. Sounds odd but I could see it being where your energy gets inserted after the body is born. Every day I have a slightly different take on it so really it is tough to nail down what I really think. I do however think that there are no new energies and do not necessarily think that we are creating new consciousness when we make babies, I think that perhaps they always were and are just getting their chance at being human.
Again, I reserve the right to do a 180 on this opinion tomorrow, or even right after I post this.

Acolon_5 wrote:
You are more brave than I
I doubt that, anyone who has the fortitude to go there is brave. How you get there is a personal thing. IMO anyways. I know that the way I described might be frowned upon, but the way that is suggested (perfectly measured doses) is not for me, using copper scrub pads and mesh screens and saying you got a whole 42mg dose is not bang on. Flip that copper screen over and go again, I guarantee you will have some spice left, so there goes the whole I cleared a 44.7526 mg dose. At least in my experience I have never ever measured a dose and cleared the whole thing, that is all I am going on as a basis of my claim, maybe I suck at smoking. It is far more safe to have a measured dose of some sort, I agree, but I am not sold on the whole exact doses thing, there are far too many variables at play to claim you are getting exact doses while smoking. I put in about 80mgs give or take and usually get 2 breakthroughs and once in a while a third out of that without having to reload. I don’t suggest my way for anyone, but for me it is perfect and I think everyone else is a bit crazy for not doing it my way. Sorry if that is some sort of blaspheme. There is nothing in this to fear at all, if your head is worrying about the difference between a 40 and 35 mg dose you are IMO starting your trip off on the wrong foot.
 
Welcome to the Nexus, thank you for sharing so much about yourself!

I have to absolutely disagree with this statement:
greyberg said:
There is nothing in this to fear at all, if your head is worrying about the difference between a 40 and 35 mg dose you are IMO starting your trip off on the wrong foot.
Click to expand...

For SWIM there's a very large difference between 40 and 35mgs. She's also had enough spice-spankings to learn not to mess around with it.

She has found that a torch lighter will certainly completely clear all the spice in a copper pad, but that a regular lighter will not. Could that be the basis of your experience?
 
She has found that a torch lighter will certainly completely clear all the spice in a copper pad, but that a regular lighter will not. Could that be the basis of your experience?
Click to expand...

GVG-Torch Lighter. So no. Maybe my technique is a bit off.

If I take out the glass top and put the lighter direct to the pad I can clear it, but I will burn it doing so. Again, perhaps refining my technique would help.

Either way, for me, my way is best and I do not believe that I could discern between 35 and 40 myself. More practice might help with that though.:) I had a couple of not quite breakthrough voyages and found them to be incredibly annoying, so I am more than willing to throw a bit extra on to make sure I get there. I feel like my integration is ahead of the game in terms of my newbie status to the whole DMT world and that I am still able to take away and learn from those instances where I go a bit far.

I have also never ever had a bad trip at all on anything. So personally, having been on hundreds of trips of all kinds, I have nothing to fear. I like spice spankings.

I get your point though. That is all just for me and my opinion of what works for ME.
 
Enoon said:
there's always a first time... don't underestimate the power of these substances.
Click to expand...

I never have and never will. I don't feel that my way of not measuring exact doses is disrespectful to the substances. I know thier power, I surrender to it.

Probably why I have never had a bad ride.
 
yeah, I thought the same a while ago. it's not about respect either. Just about underestimating the vastness of the range of the experiences these substances can provide. after 10 years of using psychedelics and never having a really bad experience, I recently had the first... I was baffled.

I hope you never have one, but I wouldn't bet my life on it. There's always something new, right around the corner... don't be so sure you've seen it all already ;)

much love
Enoon
 
After 10 years..WOW.

I will keep that in mind. That is crazy, hopefully that was the one and only.
 
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