I keep it as brief as I can.
After a long break and many unsuccessful attempts I had a window today.
It was a beautiful sunny dry day so i went to my favorite forest. one dropper of caapi tincture
it took a few hours to break myself down enough where i began to break through. it took alot of effort to get my vibration right.
I had en encounter with my hyperspace energy being friends. As always it was amazing, i am in love with these things whatever they are.
They remind me of sea creatures as they seem to float in hyperspace and can join with your mind. Usually they run some kind of download of your mind and hold you in a love beam of some sort as they go about they're business. Today they just floated in front of me in my mind I could feel them join with my mind for a brief moment. Its a very specific deep feeling of orgasmic love energy.
After this I felt comfortable with the spice and my normal caution and fear went away. I started to hit it a little harder and sure enough got a bit of an ass whipping.
Suddenly after a rather large hit I was overtaken by the "scary force" I know this force and it terrifies me. It got a hold of me and i could feel myself slipping into this hyperspace matrix.
Panic set in immediately as felt the total loss of myself in this power force. This time i tried something different and called out to myself. My voice rang clear through the chaos of this infinite energy matrix. I told myself to breath, I said it over and over. I reassured myself i would be ok. My deep sense of self was intact in the midst of this complete alien hyperspace landscape of perception.
It seems our soul can remain contained and we can call out to it. At one point I could hear my voice falter in fear and it scared me for a second but I stayed on track. I kept saying breath your going to be fine stay calm be cool ride it out.........
After wrestling with this with my eyes closed
I sat up in lotus position and opened my eyes everything seems normal. there was no morphing of the trees. There was a distinct separation of " it" and this earthly reality. I was able to blend the 2 togethor. It was once again this higher level of perception that permeated my being. Suddenly I was a modified version of myself. As the initial effects lessened and got a better handle on things thoughts raced through my mind. I felt like a strong centered powerful being with an infinite awareness of a whole other level of reality supperimposed on this earthly reality. The two levels of reality blended togethor in harmony.
I have a provisional theory that whatever this force is its so foreign to our normal functioning that
panic sets in immediately and we miss
a potencial opportunity.
I have to say it took everything I had in me to face this thing and begin to work with it. I think the possibility is there that we may be able to wrangle this force into some kind of useful way. Its such an order of magnitude shift in perception that no wonder we freek out. I've been here before and remembered this time to keep my cool.
One of things i discovered is that its important for me not to feel sick. At this level of intensity its normal to begin to feel nauseous and this can add to the panic and distraction. Today i was eating ginger like crazy so i did not have to contend with feeling sick wich made a huge difference. I could focus more specifically on what was happening to me.
My conclusion is that the force is not necissarily malevolent in nature. It can be missunderstood as being so because its so alien in and completely foreign. Its also extremely powerful and unstoppable once it gets a hold of you. I think its a higher level of awareness that we all have the capacity for and will eventually have access to.
I don't know why this keeps happening to me. The theme of my journeys now seems to be some kind of transformation.
I cannot deny the sense that something is happening to me. I don't know why my experience is going in this direction.
My journeys are now a direct connection between me and " it ". It s almost as though i've been located and identified in some way.
I am keeping an open mind and trying not to cling to any specific construct related to this yet.
I felt like some kind of progress was made today at least in my ability to cope.
I cannot help but feel as though something important is happening . What is it? and where will it lead?
much love
After a long break and many unsuccessful attempts I had a window today.
It was a beautiful sunny dry day so i went to my favorite forest. one dropper of caapi tincture
it took a few hours to break myself down enough where i began to break through. it took alot of effort to get my vibration right.
I had en encounter with my hyperspace energy being friends. As always it was amazing, i am in love with these things whatever they are.
They remind me of sea creatures as they seem to float in hyperspace and can join with your mind. Usually they run some kind of download of your mind and hold you in a love beam of some sort as they go about they're business. Today they just floated in front of me in my mind I could feel them join with my mind for a brief moment. Its a very specific deep feeling of orgasmic love energy.
After this I felt comfortable with the spice and my normal caution and fear went away. I started to hit it a little harder and sure enough got a bit of an ass whipping.
Suddenly after a rather large hit I was overtaken by the "scary force" I know this force and it terrifies me. It got a hold of me and i could feel myself slipping into this hyperspace matrix.
Panic set in immediately as felt the total loss of myself in this power force. This time i tried something different and called out to myself. My voice rang clear through the chaos of this infinite energy matrix. I told myself to breath, I said it over and over. I reassured myself i would be ok. My deep sense of self was intact in the midst of this complete alien hyperspace landscape of perception.
It seems our soul can remain contained and we can call out to it. At one point I could hear my voice falter in fear and it scared me for a second but I stayed on track. I kept saying breath your going to be fine stay calm be cool ride it out.........
After wrestling with this with my eyes closed
I sat up in lotus position and opened my eyes everything seems normal. there was no morphing of the trees. There was a distinct separation of " it" and this earthly reality. I was able to blend the 2 togethor. It was once again this higher level of perception that permeated my being. Suddenly I was a modified version of myself. As the initial effects lessened and got a better handle on things thoughts raced through my mind. I felt like a strong centered powerful being with an infinite awareness of a whole other level of reality supperimposed on this earthly reality. The two levels of reality blended togethor in harmony.
I have a provisional theory that whatever this force is its so foreign to our normal functioning that
panic sets in immediately and we miss
a potencial opportunity.
I have to say it took everything I had in me to face this thing and begin to work with it. I think the possibility is there that we may be able to wrangle this force into some kind of useful way. Its such an order of magnitude shift in perception that no wonder we freek out. I've been here before and remembered this time to keep my cool.
One of things i discovered is that its important for me not to feel sick. At this level of intensity its normal to begin to feel nauseous and this can add to the panic and distraction. Today i was eating ginger like crazy so i did not have to contend with feeling sick wich made a huge difference. I could focus more specifically on what was happening to me.
My conclusion is that the force is not necissarily malevolent in nature. It can be missunderstood as being so because its so alien in and completely foreign. Its also extremely powerful and unstoppable once it gets a hold of you. I think its a higher level of awareness that we all have the capacity for and will eventually have access to.
I don't know why this keeps happening to me. The theme of my journeys now seems to be some kind of transformation.
I cannot deny the sense that something is happening to me. I don't know why my experience is going in this direction.
My journeys are now a direct connection between me and " it ". It s almost as though i've been located and identified in some way.
I am keeping an open mind and trying not to cling to any specific construct related to this yet.
I felt like some kind of progress was made today at least in my ability to cope.
I cannot help but feel as though something important is happening . What is it? and where will it lead?
much love
