Hi! I want to share with you a very interesting experience! My first very bad trip.. woohoo!
So couple of days ago I invited my friend over for a spice journey. Usually when my friends come over for spice experiences I don't do it with them because I think that is doing it for the wrong reasons. I had the same plan this evening but my friend wanted to go in again and again, so when he was loading up for the third time I decided to go as well, pretty much out of boredom (mistake nr 1).
I loaded upp my machine with about 40mg but I'm pretty shure there were plenty of leftovers in the pipe from my friends trips so the dose was to big (mistake nr 2). I've come upp with a technice where I empty the pipe in one huge ass smoke so that was my next step. I then lay down and instantly I saw a red tunnel with an really ugly face at the end. I have actually seen this tunnel and this face twice before, both times when smoalking with friends, but untill now I have been lucky engough not to go in there. Next I began to travel through the tunnel and the face got larger and larger and in the same time more and more scary! I broke through and I was located in pinkish cloud elevator world and for the first time I could actually see how really hitious this "demon" was (hitious not doing it justice)! It had this horrible demonic face that kept morphing and making all sorts of terrifying faces. It was not a typical demon as I picture them, but more like the asian demons. It was pink and it's body was really small and fat. Hehe I know when you picture this creature it comes out as being funny but belive me... scary as f***! This was the main entity, there were few others but this one was for shure the boss. She (I got a feeling that this was a woman, old woman) kept moving back, making some other face and then rush at me so her face filled my view and then move back again. They all kept touching and point at my head as well. Usually when having semi bad experience I can step outside my emotions and watch my fear without judging it but this was so overwhelming and so freaking real that I couldn't let go of my mind. I started thinking thoughts like, omg they are trying to possess me, these demons are real in our world but we just can't see them, if I let them get to me then they will have power over me in the "real" world... and so on. I was trying to fight them of but I was totally helpless.
I know I can't describe how scary this world and these creatures were, but try to imagine if a movie director could go inside your head, find your weaknesses and your worst fears, then create a movie from his findings and toss you naked inside it with your hands and feet tied together.
Anyways, half way through the trip I noticed there was some sort of capsule in the middle of my view. I't was see through but with neon lights on it, kinda like bunch of small traffic lights put together. I noticed that if I put my attention on it it started to open, light bursted out of it and the color of the world started changing to white and "dmt symbols" started to appear on the cloud elevators. But as it started to open, my mind started making up things - "Maybe the demons put it there, maybe if I open it my soul will be theirs and I will wake up possesed", so I didn't have the guts to open it up (regret it now!).
After some time, witch felt forever I started to come back and I felt really really bad and messed up. I was kinda mad at the spice for doing this to me and I thought that I would not smoalk again for a year or something.
BUT I have been thinking about it and I think this might have been exactly what I needed. The thing is I've been working on my spiritual side, noticing my thought and emotions and directly experience them instead of labeling them with my mind and let them take control over me. I have also been working on my third eye and I tend to focus on the tingle in my forhead to anchor me to the present moment. I think the spice was pushing me to my limits and testing if I could actually let go of my ego in a very intence situation. Clearly I failed but I look at this as a valuable lesson teaching me that I have to let go, completely. Also I think the capsule might have been an anchor to the present in hyperspace, giving me a chance to stop my mind and focus on the present, my hyperspace third eye
Maybe if I had kept my mind on the capsule the demons would have dissapeared and this demonic world would have changed to a loving world... a metafor for living in your mind (fear) or living in the present (love, joy).
Thanks for reading
So couple of days ago I invited my friend over for a spice journey. Usually when my friends come over for spice experiences I don't do it with them because I think that is doing it for the wrong reasons. I had the same plan this evening but my friend wanted to go in again and again, so when he was loading up for the third time I decided to go as well, pretty much out of boredom (mistake nr 1).
I loaded upp my machine with about 40mg but I'm pretty shure there were plenty of leftovers in the pipe from my friends trips so the dose was to big (mistake nr 2). I've come upp with a technice where I empty the pipe in one huge ass smoke so that was my next step. I then lay down and instantly I saw a red tunnel with an really ugly face at the end. I have actually seen this tunnel and this face twice before, both times when smoalking with friends, but untill now I have been lucky engough not to go in there. Next I began to travel through the tunnel and the face got larger and larger and in the same time more and more scary! I broke through and I was located in pinkish cloud elevator world and for the first time I could actually see how really hitious this "demon" was (hitious not doing it justice)! It had this horrible demonic face that kept morphing and making all sorts of terrifying faces. It was not a typical demon as I picture them, but more like the asian demons. It was pink and it's body was really small and fat. Hehe I know when you picture this creature it comes out as being funny but belive me... scary as f***! This was the main entity, there were few others but this one was for shure the boss. She (I got a feeling that this was a woman, old woman) kept moving back, making some other face and then rush at me so her face filled my view and then move back again. They all kept touching and point at my head as well. Usually when having semi bad experience I can step outside my emotions and watch my fear without judging it but this was so overwhelming and so freaking real that I couldn't let go of my mind. I started thinking thoughts like, omg they are trying to possess me, these demons are real in our world but we just can't see them, if I let them get to me then they will have power over me in the "real" world... and so on. I was trying to fight them of but I was totally helpless.
I know I can't describe how scary this world and these creatures were, but try to imagine if a movie director could go inside your head, find your weaknesses and your worst fears, then create a movie from his findings and toss you naked inside it with your hands and feet tied together.
Anyways, half way through the trip I noticed there was some sort of capsule in the middle of my view. I't was see through but with neon lights on it, kinda like bunch of small traffic lights put together. I noticed that if I put my attention on it it started to open, light bursted out of it and the color of the world started changing to white and "dmt symbols" started to appear on the cloud elevators. But as it started to open, my mind started making up things - "Maybe the demons put it there, maybe if I open it my soul will be theirs and I will wake up possesed", so I didn't have the guts to open it up (regret it now!).
After some time, witch felt forever I started to come back and I felt really really bad and messed up. I was kinda mad at the spice for doing this to me and I thought that I would not smoalk again for a year or something.
BUT I have been thinking about it and I think this might have been exactly what I needed. The thing is I've been working on my spiritual side, noticing my thought and emotions and directly experience them instead of labeling them with my mind and let them take control over me. I have also been working on my third eye and I tend to focus on the tingle in my forhead to anchor me to the present moment. I think the spice was pushing me to my limits and testing if I could actually let go of my ego in a very intence situation. Clearly I failed but I look at this as a valuable lesson teaching me that I have to let go, completely. Also I think the capsule might have been an anchor to the present in hyperspace, giving me a chance to stop my mind and focus on the present, my hyperspace third eye
Maybe if I had kept my mind on the capsule the demons would have dissapeared and this demonic world would have changed to a loving world... a metafor for living in your mind (fear) or living in the present (love, joy).Thanks for reading
