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How foolish of me...

Cabyz

Rising Star
Hi all! I'm deciding to share with you guys my first dmt experience, as best I can at least. I warn that this is a very long post, but I did my best to break it down and make it as readable as possible. It'd mean a lot to me if you read and shared your comments. Thanks :d

One thing I will say is I'm a fool A foolishly foolish fool. before partaking on the journey I only did research on dosage and how to make it. I hadn't read one sentence on set and setting or the true nature of dmt. All I knew is how to make it, and that it would make me trip balls :twisted: .
-----------------------------Ingredient choices, and brewing----------------------------------
I decided to try dmt because it seemed like a very cheap and effective way to get really fucked up(See what I mean about me being a fool :lol:). So I got a half-kilo of powdered mimosa, and tried a CWE without MAOI, with no success (for a multitude of reasons, most of which being my own). So I also got some syrian rue as it seemed cheaper and easier to work with than caapi (Although in the future I believe I'll go for caapi 😉 ).

So I cooked up seven, 3 gram doses of rue tea, and seven, 7 gram doses of mimosa tea, as I was planning to have some for later, and share with friends. I just boiled the mimosa 3 times in acidified water for 30 minutes and reduced (I got majorly distracted whilst reducing so I seemed to have "burnt?" alot of the mimosa tea, at least there was a nice hard coating of stuff all over the pan afterwards(which is probably a good thing lol)).
----------------------------Drinking, Set and Setting-----------------------------------------
So anyways later that day I decide to ingest my creation. My stomach was rather empty besides a few strawberries. I mix the rue tea in with some sunny d and drink it. Didn't taste to bad, just like bitter sunny d. I decide to wait ~30 minutes before drinking the mimosa tea to ensure full mao inhibition. Well within that time I kick over the measuring cup all 7 doses were in, with most of it spilling out(which is a mini miracle actually. Otherwise I would of had my sister do some with me, who is on ssri's, which I overlooked). Although there was still a dose left (Probably more like a dose and 3/8ths), so I mix it in with my Sunny D and down it.

I had no intentions in going other than to trip hard, and I honestly wasn't expecting it to be as intense as it was, especially having gone on very long binges of dxm, and smoking salvia multiple times a day at one point. So clearly my mindset was wrong wrong WRONG.

Now let me tell you about my setting :shock:. I was at home, with a close friend over. He wasn't participating in the trip as he wanted to see how I reacted first. Most of the trip he was in another room though, which was probably more of a mind fuck for me. I also had the T.v. on, lights on, and the room wasn't exactly clean. So the set and setting for this trip were rather horrible.

---------------------------------------The trip---------------------------------------------
ANYWAYS on to the actual trip (my memory is slightly vague because I was smoking weed before during and after the trip). First I notice that I felt funny, it was a general euphoria feeling of tripping and it excited me. Everything was super vivid, and the lines where the wall met the roof seemed to go on forever.

Then the first stages of panic set in. Remembering I did more than one dose I started wondering if I did to much. I start getting a very intense feeling of deja vu. "Everything is piecing together perfectly, I've been here before, and I know what'll happen next!" I thought.... Then I got stuck in a loop :cry: . A loop I believe I've been stuck in multiple times on multiple hallucinogens. I think that by taking the hallucinogen I've fucked up the world, and the whole world... no universe, is stuck in a loop, or more rather it always was but by taking the hallucinogen I revealed it for what it really was. During my shroom trip when I was in a loop like this I envisioned the universe as one huge ceiling fan, with many many blades, with rubber bands covering all the blades. And each rubber band is a section of time, a prewritten section of time. And the fan would spin, going through time completely, then it'd hit the beginning and time would restart, and play out exactly the same.

"I've been here before, and I'll be here again. And that's the way it'll go on forever" I thought. Like a "Game Over, Please Try Again." sort of scenario. But everytime I'd try life again, it'd play out exactly as it had before, until I trip and it restarts again. All the while I'm stuck half upside down as a pixelated box man, more like box head actually. With my jaw being moved left and right on a pully, and my body all twisted up.


Then after what seemed like ages it just STOPPED. And that's when shit got even weirder. Like I mentioned my tv was on, and I couldn't understand a word that was being said, it was like I just forgot english! Everything sounded like gibberish, and came out as if it were all questions, with a sort of upward emphasis at the end of each sentence. Instead of frightening, I found it rather hilarious.

But then my thoughts and worries brought me back to reality. I convinced myself that I was in a sort of created reality (although I sort of was, I was always in my room, and nothing ever appeared that wasn't there, nor morphed beyond recognition), where one second felt like hours and hours like years! It had been so long since my friend came into the room, I started wondering if he wasn't indeed here right now, while I was in some sort of coma, forever trapped in a reality where I would be stuck in the room by myself, thirsty, and with a tv that was far from understandable.

Time ticks by, and slowly I gain pieces of my mind back. The TV starts making sense if I concentrate enough, and I had control over my body again! First thing I do is go to get a drink, this cotton mouth was KILLING me! Walking was weird. I seemed inclined to walk like some alien creature just because it was fun. It was like I was a child again! All movements I made were very over exaggerated and sort of twisty, I don't think it was because I HAD to, but because I WANTED to :lol:

I see my friend and tell him a little about my experience, but I didn't linger long, although I felt pretty far gone, I could communicate clearly at this point. I drank some orange juice and it flowed inbetween my teeth so beautifully, all I could do was swish it around my mouth for minutes. I then decide to eat a strawberry since I read that it might help boost the trip. I don't know if it boosted it or not, all I know is that was the best fucking strawberry I ever ate :lol:.


The rest of the trip played out the same, super euphoria, crazy exaggerated movements, and that's about it. The only thing I could relate it to is Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas, with their crazy walks and what not lol. I felt like a freak... and I liked it :d
-----------------------------Side Notes, After Math, etc.-----------------------------------

It should be noted I never purged during the trip, although I felt as if I could of, but I never had intense nausea. After the trip I did purge twice though, but I highly believe this is due to the fact that I smoked some rue when the trip was pretty much over in an attempt to kick it back up. Immediately after smoking the rue I felt like a total crapcake. I didn't even want to stand up, so I figure that must be it.


Seems to me that I am lucky I didn't trip harder, as I def. didn't prepare properly, and from what I read now, cooked up a rather large dose. After the whole stuck in a loop experience the rest of it was just goofy and euphoric. But I do believe I have experienced the same loop process on various other drugs, once on a high dose of shrooms, multiple times on dxm, and once inhaling gasoline. (I was young :oops: )

Since then I have read many great posts on the nexus and am confident that my next journey will be alot more enjoyable. I've been clearing my mind and working on dealing with anxiety. I'll also be sure to have a much better setting next time as well. I have some tea ready now actually, but I'm waiting till I know it's the right time.

I came looking for something to trip on, and I found sosoSOOO much more. Even after that small experience that couldn't even be compared to a breakthrough, I feel like I have alot more energy waking up, and seem to be in a generally better mood. I am truly grateful I found such an amazing thing, and such an amazing community. And I am especially grateful hyperspace took it easy on me, things could have been so much worse than what they were, and somehow they just weren't.


Well I'm done yapping your ears off (Or should I say typing your eyes out?:lol:) Some more tips for my next journey would be much appreciated.

Much Love,
Cabyz
 
Great report! Thanks for sharing! Good thing your sis didn't dose!
I think it's important to remember that the most important part of the experience is the lessons you learn from it. I also think it's important to ask yourself just exactly WHY you are tripping and to completely immerse youself into the experience.

I had a long discussion with my brother recently about the difference of objective and subjective experience. Almost anyone can have an objective perspective on something, it's very easily done and comes naturally to most people-- like wrighting with your right hand. But there is a whole other side of the coin that is the subjective viewpoint wich is equally as important, but for most people takes more efffort-- like wrighting with your left hand. It's perfectly possible to wright with both hands regardless of what hand you normally wright with, but at first it can be extremely difficult to wright with your lesser hand (left for most people) BUT it IS possible, just very difficult. Like most other things it has a learning curve, but once you practice more with wrighting with both hands it becomes easier. The same can be said for thinking subjectively and objectively. At first thinking subjectively can seem almost impossible, BUT it IS possible, just very difficult to someone who is used to thinking objectively.

I'm not trying to judge you by any means, but from the information I gathered from your post, it sounds to me like you mostly think objectively, or at least have been viewing these substances objectively. THAT"S OK! but learning to take a subjective viewpoint on things can give you the best of both worlds, and having these atlernating viewpoints on life experiences can allow you to grow in ways you have never thought posssible.

Now just to clarify the difference between these different viewpoints. The objective viewpoint is usually geared more toward personal gain and material satisfaction, while the subjective viewpoint is usually geared more toward doing the right thing regardless of personal gain. It is important IME to find a "middle ground" between these and that leaning too much toward subjective side can make you a very vulnerable person, while leaning too much toward objective side can make you very calous and live your life more like a business. Finding this middle ground isn't easy, and I still struggle sometimes with leaning one way or the other. Drugs like DXM and most other get-high-quick highs certainly don't help in finding this elusive middle ground IMHO but to each his own.

I have lived most of my life leaning very heavily toward the objective side, and over time have slowly developed my subjective side more and more. Just like with wrighting with your left hand, the more you do it, the easier it gets.😉
 
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