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How I arrived at this point in my life.

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blueskiesbri

Rising Star
Hello there,

I'm Brian. Here's how I arrived at this point in my life:

I grew up around the most amazing uncle ever. I learned a lot from him, both purposely as well as inadvertently. He was an alcoholic, so for the first 38 years of my life, I was completely against drugs. I was completely close-minded and shut off any notions about doing them. When I was 38 years old, I decided I wanted to start experiencing more out of my life--call it a weird bucket list or whatever, but I just thought I shouldn't go through life without experiencing some of the things that others do all the time. So, I got drunk for the first time in 2008. I went through this drinking phase for about a year and a half, HATING IT EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. I absolutely hate the taste of alcohol, and only wanted to get to the effect it had to offer me. After realizing that eventually alcohol would cause some sort of damage to my body, I decided to stop.
From as early as I can remember, I've been a deep thinker. An OVER-thinker, most times. A control freak, too. It was in one of my deep thinking moments towards the end of 2010 that I told my niece, whom I'm very close to, that I have always wanted to "see" things. Like hallucinations. I've always been interested in what that feels like. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but she took that information to heart, and came back to me about two weeks later and said "Brian, I think I found something for you to try." I told her "What do you mean?". She said "Well, when you told me you wanted to 'see' things, I did some research and there's a drug out there that is not illegal, and it gives you hallucinations. It's called 'Salvia Divinorum'". I had never heard of this drug/plant before in my life. Being the control freak I am, I began feverishly doing research on it. I decided to take the plunge and try it. I followed all the rules, having a trusted sitter with me, and I had a wonderful experience with it. I became so closely attached to nature and my family and friends, realizing what was really important in our lives. I completely gave up the idea of material and superficial things, and I have Salvia to thank for this, and since that time, I've had close to 20 Salvia experiences.
As part of my research, I found a Salvia Divorum forum, which I became a member, and have contributed here and there as I can. On that forum, I met several nice people, and as it turns out, I found a member that lived close to me. Part of the forum's mission was to have a mass distribution project in place, so that we can ensure the longevity of this sacred plant. This particular member met me face-to-face and gave me a plant to grow. We formed a friendship, and I have been really enjoying all the great conversations we've had.
During one of our conversations, he mentioned to me DMT. Being the control freak (hehehe), I once again went out and did all kinds of research. The more I read, the more I was interested. I'm really fascinated in the fact that our dreams are created through our body's secretion of DMT from the pineal gland, so to me, I see nothing negative about DMT because from everything I've read, it appears that it exists in so many things in nature. I have also enjoyed very much watching The Spirit Molecule, as well as several Terence McKenna videos and lectures. I guess you could call me a wanna-be psychonaut. Because of my deep thinking throughout my life, I believe both Salvia and DMT will help me to think deeper thoughts, and help me get towards a more philosophical reason as to why we are here. My best friend, who has experienced many psychedelics in his time, told me I picked "one hell of a drug" (referring to Salvia Divinorum) as my first experience!
As I type this, I have yet to experience a trip with DMT, other than my own dreams, of course, but I'm working towards that goal.
I sincerely appreciate all the knowledge and tight-knit community that this forum has, and I look forward to contributing on this board as I have on the Salvia board once I have some experience under my belt.
So, I hope to learn a lot, both from the forum, as well as in my own mind. As I told my good friend today, my life is an open book. I truly believe that the truth will set you free and allow your mind to think more clearly when you have less negative thoughts in there to get in the way. With that, I hope I haven't embarrassed myself by telling you I haven't had a DMT experience yet, but you can trust in knowing when I do, I will detail it herein.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and again, thanks for setting up this forum to share knowledge and experiences.

Peace to all,

Brian
 
Welcome to the Nexus!

I like your intro essay, thanks for sharing this part of your life :)

One correction though, its only a hypothesis that DMT is released in dreams (in fact there is some evidence against it), and also its only speculation so far that its released by the pineal (and that its released when we die).

We do know, though, that it is a part of normal metabolism and may be biosynthesized in different parts of the body where the key enzymes are found, like the lungs and other places.

Regardless of where its made and released, its an amazing misterious substance that has been changing the lives of many people for centuries. I highly suggest you read our FAQ and wiki in general to get more knowledge about this substance.

Are you thinking of extracting DMT? You can do that with any of the teks we have in our wiki. You can also try oral DMT like ayahuasca, which to me, is maybe the best way to use this substance as a tool for self-development.

One question: Did your niece try these substances too?

And how's that salvia plant doing?

Be well!
 
That was a great first intro thank you and welcome to the nexus. Endlessness covered the correction about dmt perfectly to help you understand better. These are common misconceptions that are all over the internet.

Where dmt is made and why is interesting but the fact that its even in our bodies is quite remarkable to me. Reading your essay gave me goosebumps. Its a very special thing to read a person experiencing this world for the first time especially when said person is such a blank canvas with no prior altered state experiences to cloud your work now as a mature adult making meaningful decisions.

Best of luck to you and please let us know how your first dmt journey goes. read read read my friend. there is a treasure of information and dmt is tricky in the beginning. The more you sweat in the gym the less you bleed in the ring.
meaning do your homework and you will enjoy the benefits with breakthrough after breakthrough!
 
Well, thank you all for your warm welcome. I tried sending this message a day ago, but for some reason it didn't post, so I'm going to attempt to get my thoughts down again.

First of all, I appreciate your comments, and I will definitely check out the Wiki area to read up on some of the misunderstandings I've had about DMT. It is a great feeling to know that this community cares enough about each other to get things right, and to not spread misinformation.

Now onto the answers to some of the questions you asked. hehehe

I am planning very soon to extract DMT for the first time. After that, I will experience my first DMT journey. The control freak in me is very leery of taking a substance I don't know where it derived. It will comfort me, and hopefully make my journey a peaceful one, knowing that I was the one who did it all.

My niece does not know about the DMT interest yet, although I will tell her the next time we talk. To answer your question, she is very much like I was when I was her age--she hasn't tried anything, including alcohol. I imagine that she may end up like me when she gets to my age, where she has decided she needs to experience something more from life, in an effort to understand her true self. I have made it known to her that if she is ever interested in trying Salvia, I will provide her a safe and trusted environment from which to experiment. I believe, like all of you here, that the setting is of utmost importance to a good trip.

My Salvia plants are doing really well, finally! The first group of them I had unfortunately perished due to an idiotic move on my part. I changed the soil mixture with something that contained acid, and it slowly, within 4 days from introducing it, killed all my plants. Yes, I know, I should have tested ONE plant instead of doing all of them. We learn from our mistakes. I'm happy to say the five I currently have are doing wonderfully, and I love them. I talk to them, touch them, and have given them what I think is a nice place to call home inside my home. I'm actually going to be doing my first extraction of Salvia this month, too. That should be exciting, too!

I will most certainly let all of you know how my first experiences go. I plan on being a better contributor to this site, it's just that right now I have little to give because of my inexperience.

Thanks again for welcoming me here. I look forward to learning so much from all of you. I can tell there is so much positive energy and knowledge flowing from all of you, and that is what I love about the Salvia forum I'm on, too!

Take care.

Brian
 
Welcome to the Nexus, Brian.

I relate not only to your age (I was a late starter too), or to your control impulse (which I know very well, after having to control essential tremor since I was a child), or to your salvia family (I have one too), but specially to your attitude. Questioning yourself, going to places you used to judge harshly and having the ability to start over again, are ingredients for a great recipe to enjoy the rest of your life. I have the feeling there's at least a few awesome rebirths waiting for you, so congratulations for your choices and for where you are.
 
Welcome.

It was a pleasure to read your story and I'm glad you found in Salvia a benevolent ally. Best of luck in your DMT adventures, hope to see you posting here regularly.
 
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