Welcome buk,

It is great that you decided to login and participate, I hope we can learn from each other.

The first step in understanding, is realising that there is something that you do not know. The second step is taking the effort to find out the answers. Many people have a vague idea or a vague understanding of what they believe, what they know, but more importantly, what they do not know. Not really knowing with any certainty, whether or not what they believe, is true or false.

We humans, tend to make assumptions, presumptions and speculations about the nature of reality, conceptualising in our minds things that may appear to be more or less true. A lot of the time though, this is where we are content to remain, and most of us do remain, in a sort of semi-conscious, semi-lucid, semi-real, mind formulated perception of reality.

Some, like yourself, are prompted, for whatever reason, to notice that there is "something" that is begging a desire to be known, to ask deeper questions and then to search for an adequate answer that is no longer exhibiting contradiction.

I hope you find what you are looking for. My only advice is this, before you can gain an adequate answer, you first must ask an adequate question. Also, an answer is complete, when it no longer contains any contradiction.