Humbling

[ballzac]

Here is a trip report that I found. I'm not sure who wrote it, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't me: "Where to start? I had recently gotten hold of some nn-DMT. The first time I toked on a tiny bit and felt a very intense rush and saw some patterns that reminded me of a mild mushroom trip. Then I tried it again a few times in small doses and got less visuals but got the same rushing feeling. The rushing feeling scared me. These first few times I was trying to vapourize in jars and glass pipes etc. and it wasn't really working that well and I was wasting a lot. Then I had the bright idea to smoke it in a bong on top of some inactive herbs. This worked a lot better, and I got major three dimentional visuals but without getting scared so much by the body rush. I still felt like I was in my body and lying on my bed. At this stage I realised that I could accidentally go further than I meant to, partly because I don't have scales and was eyeballing the stuff, and was worried about mucking around anymore until I had a sitter. Next time I tried it at a friend's house. It was just two of my closest friends, and also my girlfriend. I got only minor visuals, but again the rush scared me. I felt that this was the wrong setting, and that I only wanted one sitter. Later on that night I was at home with my girlfriend and we both wanted to delve a bit deeper. I packed a cone of damiana and put what I thought was the amount I'd used earlier that night into the pipe (I wasn't planning on going that deep just yet). I pulled the cone and passed the bong to my girlfriend. I lay down and felt an incredible buzzing going through my body. The intensity and frequency of the buzzing was increasing to a point where I thought my head would explode. I suddenly fels like I was a bouncing ball being bounced around inside a tube. There were shamans surrounding the tube and there was chanting and drumming, and it seemed to be the shamans causing the bouncing to happen. I would almost describe it as painful but it wasn't a physical sensation of pain, just unpleasantness. As I was travelling down this tunnel/tube (and I was still bouncing around at ever increasing frequency) I started to see the layers of reality consertina. As a physics student I would describe these as three dimentional branes that were expanding and contracting in four-space. The visuals were very dark (if you could call them visuals at all) and I was very scared. It reminded me a bit of this report: DMT - Erowid Exp - 'A Cautionary Tale' when the writer talks about an infinite feedback loop, except that I was well aware that I was on a drug and that this could end. I started fighting it because I didn't want it to last for five minutes. I opened my eyes and tried to explain how I was feeling to my girlfriend, but I couldn't really speak so I just looked at her. The layers of reality were still concertinaing. I was starting to feel a bit better, but I was really confused. I was trying to explain to my girlfriend how hardcore it was, but I wasn’t sure what to say. I kind of felt like she must be experiencing it too, even though I knew rationally that this wasn’t the case. I was in the full-on bit for only about thirty seconds, and I am glad it didn’t last any longer. I may have actually enjoyed the rest of the trip if I had just kept my eyes closed, but I was too scared and just wanted it to end. Incidentally, about fifteen seconds into the hardcore rush I opened my eyes but it didn’t make much difference to what I was seeing or feeling. When I was still pretty fucked and I was trying to figure out what reality was, my mouth felt all crusty. I felt like there were crystals of DMT solidifying all over my face and when I licked my lips they tasted really metallic. I also found myself gasping for air. I didn’t feel human. I was going to ask my girlfriend for a sip of water, but then I wasn’t sure if that would help, and I wasn’t sure if I would even be able to ask, so I didn’t bother. Pretty soon I was feeling quite better and I think the first thing I said was, “See, when it’s like this it actually kind of cool.” But I wasn’t sure if I’d already told her that I was having a hard time. In retrospect I know I hadn’t, but I think she knew from the look on my face. She said it looked like I had seen a ghost. My girlfriend was eager to have a go, but I made her wait till I was completely down because I was still shaken and didn’t want to be still off my face if I had to watch her go through what I just went through. When she did have a go, she said she went to a dark place similar to what I described but a lot gentler. But she said there was someone there telling her that there is more to it if she has more. I advised her to be careful, but she packed a massive cone full (maybe 100mg) on top of some tobacco, and blasted off. She was grinning for about seven minutes, occasionally opening her eyes and looking around. Afterwards she told me she had gone through that first dark bit to a really colourful place and there was Buddha drinking out of a coconut among other things. She said it was like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. She assures me that all I have to do is have more than what I had, but I’m terrified. She obviously didn’t have that hard a time even from the small dose. What if a higher dose is just as bad as the light one for me, but lasts a lot longer? I don’t know if I can survive that. Until now I have considered myself very experienced with psychedelics, and I have to admit that this has been one of the most humbling experiences of my life. I don’t know how to relax and let go on this shit. I am determined to break through at some stage, but I don’t know how to overcome my fear of this substance, or whether it will be a good experience for me or not. I love psychedelics, and DMT is usually considered to be the ultimate of psychedelics. I also like the more introspective aspects of psychedelics as well as the party aspects. So this experience has turned my world upside down. I don’t know what else to say.” It looks like the guy who wrote this rambled a bit, but he obviously had a pretty scary experience. I’m sure if anyone had any advice I would be able to find a way to get this information back to the poor fella. Thanks people. -Zac P.S I found the guy who wrote this report, and he said that he feels that maybe DMT isn't his thing. His friends seems to handle it much better than him even though most have only done small doses, and his girlfriend who is really inexperienced with psychedelics handles it really well. This guy said it felt more uncomfortable than Salvia, which is a plant that most psychonauts he knows are generally a little put off by. Also, most people he knows cannot handle some of the things he can handle, like high (1.2g+) doses of DXM HBr. Consequently his friends do not use DXM. Perhaps in the same vein, this guy should just leave DMT alone, and accept that the DMT realms are something he is not meant to experience. Besides, there are many other plants and substances out there that he can use that he enjoys. P.P.S. Sorry, thoughts keep coming to his mind that he keeps asking me to add. He feels that if he had scales he would feel more comfortable experimenting with a level he finds challenging without accidentally diving in at the deep end and panicking. Does this sound reasonable to anyone? It will probably be a while before he has spare money to buy scales. ...Oh yeah, I really am not sure of the dosages they were using. He saw a pic of 60mg on a dime somewhere on here. He is from Australia, but as far as he knows a dime is similar in size to an Australian 5c piece. He thinks his dose was about thirty (although he was aiming for thirty with his dose the night before and got little effect). He is now thinking of fortifying some herbs for easier dosaging.

 

[DreaMTripper]

Dmt will be around forever so theres no rush for your friend. The time will let him discover what the fear thats holding him back is. If there is one. It seems he needs a bit of familiarisation first, some people do. Then it will be apparent wether dmt is for him or not. Its not for everybody. Let us know how he gets on.

 

[lucious]

Swim said to tell you this. I know what you mean about the bouncing ball, not specifically that dream, but sometimes spice has a way of beating you into submission. Many times when giving in, and not, it seems that it is breaking down your mental walls so you will be off base for the idea. Btw as intensely uncomfortable as this can be the gate swings both ways, it can be that pleasurable. That superfast ego blast reminds me of that quote by Meister Eckhart, "If you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see demons tearing your life away. If you've made your peace, then the demons are really angels, freeing you from the earth.", cept for some reason I think the demons are as important as the angels. Would not want all those preconceived notions disturbing the math. I am, was, one of those who thinks they can handle it all. The thing with spice is no one can handle an effective dose. One thing that seems to help is to force a smile, not exactly sure where I read that advice, but it really does work, activating those neurons must have an effect. Also I know people say alcohol clouds it, but just a touch to loosen one up has helped me a lot, I do not drink often so it does not take much for me. I have also found it helpful to meditate on the experience before hand, even if you dont believe in all the newagey nonsense that surrounds it, for about 5 or 10 minutes I close my eyes ignore the outside world and try to clear my mind of all thoughts while taking slow deep breaths. Swim said he made a 1 part spice to 2 parts herb fortification. He and the labmonkeys said it was too much herbs to smoke, and did not dampen the taste. Next time swim will try the other way around but does not know if the herb will hold all that spice.

 

[El Ka Bong]

I hear on should melt the spice first into a little pool, then soak it up in a few leafy bits of very dry herb. And then once it's all dried, and knowing approx. the mg of dmt you have imbibed per bong-hit, you're ready to launch with it.

 

[Viracocha]

Hey Balzac, Sounds like you indeed did have a humbling experience, and your girlfriend on the other hand had a beautiful experience. Something you need to be aware of is that not all dmt trips are the same. I've had months of very similar fascinating experiences, then it changed and many turned to dark, fearful experiences. I think it very much comes down to your subconscious understanding of / connection with dmt at the time. Personally i've never been able to acquire any effects from salvia and i think it's because I read too much, knew too much, and hence expected too much from it before i ever even tried it, so was not entirely open to what it had to offer. A similar thing might be going on with you, whereas your girlfriend perhaps hasn't been that well informed of what dmt can do? By the way, you did have a breakthrough, and even if it wasn't what you were expecting i bet it was an equally valuable experience as any glory trip Indeed it has been around for ages and will continue to be, so no need to dismiss it just yet. Perhaps look at having a nice mushroom dose about three or four days before your next dmt trip, there are some major similarities between psilocybin and dmt, and what i feel with mushrooms is that they are telling you, and showing you what they know about dmt, guiding in a sense, whereas taking dmt is the headfirst plunge into the unknown. Have the recent experience of mushrooms on your side might be a positive for you; of course you could smoke dmt while on mushrooms and see what that's all about

 

[Viracocha]

The strongest i've had is 5x and smoked about 1.5mg of purish extract from salvia leaves. The strongest effect i've had was from three large consecutive cones of 5x, but all I really got was a loss of balance. I felt there was a strong urge for 'something' to take over but I was too guarded and consequently didn't let it. A friend was off his face from a single 5x cone smoked the same was as i had my three I totally agree with 'Faith is the key in DMT realms', you need to stop trying to understand the dmt realm and hence gain control of it, and just let yourself go with it; the struggle to control the space can result in the harshest trips leaving you feeling lost and lonely

 

[ballzac]

SyZyGyPSy, my friend has had lots of experience with shrooms. In fact, he always finds it a little annoying that the spiritual aspects of the trip seem to only go so far, which is one of the reasons DMT has appealed to him (in concept at least). I think Coschi is right that a trip a few days beforehand could help my friend have confidence in the tryptamine realms. He may even decide to blast off at the height of a mushroom trip. Although he is unlikely to touch mushrooms for a few months for certain reasons. Coschi, I now know that my friend broke through. That actually kind of makes him feel less afraid of going back. Unfortunately his fear prevented him from actually enjoying the breakthrough. SyZ, I also think you are missing something about DXM. A DXM trip can be really confronting and fully immersive. I know it is a dissociative, but it is not like nitrous. I hear what you're saying about the dangers (although olney's legions have never been proven to occur with DXM use, and MOST people who use 1.8g+ a day for a couple of years never have any serious long term effects) and for this reason among others my friend does not use DXM anymore. But yeah, I know his DXM use has not prepared him for DMT, but nor do I believe that DMT use could prepare a person for high dose DXM use. Don't get me wrong, I totally agree that DXM is something that can fuck with you, but I also think it should be respected as a legitimate entheogen. Also, I love what you said about loving the entities that feed on fear etc. It resonates so well with my friend's intentions. He is still afraid, and I don't know if he could bring himself to approach it the way you suggest (i.e. packing a huge cone etc.), but he is considering it as a legitimate option. Anyway, I must sign off now. Thanks to everyone for your suggestions and encouragement. I will let you know how I go in the future. Oh yeah, also Coschi, you are right about the reasons you said for the difference in his and his girlfriend's trips. In fact, his girlfriend had a great time, but I don't think she got THAT much out of it. I think my friend has more at stake and more to gain from it, if you know what I mean? The fact that he can have an intensely difficult trip suggests that he is capable of having an intensely positive trip. I think his girlfriend mainly got a pretty light show and missed the deeper implications. Bye for now. And thank you all again.

 

[ballzac]

My friend sent me this. “OMFG, OMFG, OMFG, OMFG, OMFG. Okay, I have discovered that the direct launch is not for me. I put a decent sized dose (like the one that fucked me up) on top of some damiana. I heated it with the lighter and inhaled a lot of vapour but stopped before the damiana caught fire. I started feeling the buzzing, but it subsided before it got too intense, and in the midst of all these visuals and shit, I managed to blast up the last of what was in the cone. It is so much easier to handle the rush when I am going from a lower level of tryptamine space rather than blasting of from Earth. When I take mushrooms, the visuals can be quite realistic, but I always see faces poking out from behind doors sneaking a look at me, and everything seems hidden. On DMT those doors are opened up. It is everything I have ever looked for in a psychedelic. I wish I could say more right now, but I’m just flabbergasted. I went back a few times and I’ve had some difficult experiences, but the experience that I started this thread about seemed like a different drug, COMPLETELY. I still think this shit is humbling, but now I know the true meaning of the word ecstasy. I feel reborn.” Thanks to you guys for your help. This guy has obviously discovered the potential of this shit. I think he will definitely try an ayahuasca or similar in the future as the gentler come up would be more to his taste and he would love to spend more time in this space and ‘download’ more information. I really feel that the help you guys have given me deserves more of an indepth response, but I really just don't know what to say. Wow.

 

[Viracocha]

Now that's what we like to hear good work

 

[ballzac]

The plot thickens... I just recieved an email from the guy who had the experience that prompted me to start this thread. Here it is: "Hey Zac, I thought I should tell you about something that has been happening to me. Every now and then over the past couple of days I have been have these vivid memories (I guess a bit like flashbacks) of a DMT experience that I don't actually remember having, or at least cannot place. I think the first time I had this experience was when I was listening to the music I listened to when I had my humbling experience. I didn't realise where they were from at the time, but now I am convinced that there was more to this experience than I realised. I had previously thought that the experience only lasted thirty seconds, because I was still aware of the normal passage of time while I was travelling through the tube, and was not aware of any other part of the experience. After having these memories, I asked my girlfriend how long I was out, and she said that I had my eyes closed for a good three minutes. This is why I now believe that these memories are from this experience. Also, these memories are of an experience that was much, much more profound than my "wow" experience. Hard to believe, but true. These memories are of a space that is here, but NOT here. There is a humanoid that appears to be made of a metallic substance, gold-like, and his colour/shading is rapidly cycling through different states, perhaps ten times a second. In the memories I feel like he told me something, but I can't remember what. There is not much more specifically that I can remember, but I feel like I spent a significant amount of time there, and perhaps learnt something that is now lost. Anyway, I'll keep you posted if I remember any more. Oh, and we should catch up for a drink some time. You know where to find me . Take care. Sincerely, *******" Sounds interesting. This drug is full of suprises. -Zac