• Members of the previous forum can retrieve their temporary password here, (login and check your PM).

I actually need help guys I’m scared for my life

Migrated topic.
C

chdedar

Rising Star
I swear I’m not having a mental breakdown. I’m f**ked up tho from this last trip.

The entities have been chasing my happy go lucky colorful trips I’ve been having while listening to music and they finally caught up on this one.

I was shown a whole family in like a lab setting being watched. The entities pulled back the covers and shown they have been watching me maliciously all around my apartment like the family. I saw them in my room. The same ones that were spitting on me and grabbing me forcefully the other night which i was half joking about in my previous post in this sub. Thinking back a couple trips ago I wasn’t seeing the beautiful worlds I was before jamming to tunes. I saw “their” realm and it was thousands of them peering at me in this dark abyss. I perceived their hierarchy in which I was the bottom of the barrel and soon to be sacrificed type vibes. It really was only disappointing to see at the time, but now that I think it in my way back trips these new entities look like nothing I’ve ever seen before. And since I’ve had a few occurrences with them that have been adding up to my latest trip/realization. I keep tripping into a pink beauty these last few times but the entities were always jumping in angrily trying wipe away what I was seeing but I would avoid them and this is what they were mad about it seemed.

I know this all sounds insane and I agree, but I was legit scared for my life and had to force myself out of the trip. When I came back Into my room they were watching me like I was bait, shifting reality in different colors like I’ve never seen before in open eyed visuals.

I don’t know what I believe in, in terms of god or the like, but I’ve never been so scared for my life. I’m convinced at this point they’re real, don’t want me there, and are continuing to watch over me.

Typing this out has given me some relief so thank you for anyone who reads it.
 
While it is possible you might just be high, in shamanic cultures entities are taken seriously as real. Part of what frustrates me (anyone who has seen my posts around here will know this is thematic) about our culture’s approach to psychedelics is that the literal magical dimensions, in the full sense of that word, are at worst not taken seriously, and at best, are generally not front and center in our understanding of what exactly these things are. Generally. I’m sure there’s exceptions, but I’m speaking in general terms.

Owsley Stanley, Tim Scully said in an interview, became an acid chemist because he wanted the telepathic experiences that were happening at the Grateful Dead “acid tests” to become common enough that our culture would tune in to a whole other level of operation. Like most LSD evangelist hopes, that didn’t pan out. Magical experiences like telepathy do continue to happen, but they are not accessible enough that it brought about a supernatural shift in the culture.

But it is what shamanism is about. Not psychotherapy, not even mysticism in the sense of Nirvana, Moksha, henosis, theosis, hesychasm, whatever. It’s about magic. Cursing and curing, magically. I personally hope that the culture becomes more saturated with this understanding as learning seeps in more deeply in this psychedelic renaissance.
 
Dont forget, life is awesome before taking drugs. Sometimes it can be best to remember that and leave the hard stuff for later years. Go outside, play with friends, walk through woods, do fun work. Having had multiple trips with DMT at age 18 seems like a waste of this brief experience you were gifted.
 
i was 16 when i started taking insanely high doses of psychedelics, i had began to research them when i was 13, what im trying to say is you are failing to face the reality that you are experiencing yourself, you are consciousness believe it or not, now you can go telling yourself all sorts of things to run from the pain of accepting things, and it ain't gonna work

the above paragraph is not about if you should do DMT again or not.
 
chdedar said:
I don’t know what I believe in, in terms of god or the like, but I’ve never been so scared for my life. I’m convinced at this point they’re real, don’t want me there, and are continuing to watch over me.

Typing this out has given me some relief so thank you for anyone who reads it.
Click to expand...

This mind be the way of your mind telling you that you should layoff the pipe for a bit.

Take time to process your trips, spend more time on healthy daily rituals.

I agree that you should probably let your brain fully develop before embarking on such traumatic trips.
 
Concensus seems to be: you might just be high, or, you might be encountering supernatural beings. We can’t tell you. Either way, give it a rest.

Even if you’re just high, I have met two people who have developed PTSD from overwhelmingly intense psychedelic experiences. While there is a small percentage of the population susceptible to psychosis genetically and that can be triggered by psychedelic use, PTSD is a real possibility for anyone, and it is not well recognized.

So-called “acid flashbacks”, I have come to conclude, were undiagnosed PTSD flashbacks.

So whether it’s psychosis, the supernatural, or something that is just plain traumatizing - maybe not to the point of PTSD, but disturbing at least - just take a break. There’s no way we can discern which if any of these it may be, but take a rest.
 
Just take a break (perhaps a long one), do normal stuff and enjoy the good things in life. Many of us have been there when DMT gets just too intense. Curiosity drives to experience more and more at the expense of what feels healthy and comfortable.

DMT is extremely weird stuff. In indigenous cultures it is treated (in the form of ayahuasca) with immense respect. My most scary trips have been the result of just wanting to experience and experiment without understanding that the reality the molecule takes us is extremely powerful regardless of whether it's inside or outside our heads.

So, put your energy into something ordinary everyday stuff and the intensity of these experiences will fade eventually. You have gotten the taste. Now you now that the other side exists. Now get back to this side.
 
This is realy a very difficult problem/question. I honestly don't think anyone of us is able to tell you what to do.

From what you're saying it is impossible to determine if what you're experiencing are the symptoms of a psychosis or just a manifestation of something mundane like work-related stress or issues with money.

If what you're experiencing are not the symptoms of a psychosis or some other serious mental disorder, and let's just assume that, for as long as you're able to coherently express yourself like you've been doing so far, then it could be anything.
And then it also realy matters what your personal views and beliefs are.

For some religious people it is very normal to talk to their deities or to see angels sometimes, or demons. In some cultures these things are totally normal and in other cultures it is considered weird.

I don't know where you stand on these things, if you're religious or not.
But it could be like i said before: a psychosis or other mental disorder, a manifestation of issues that plague you, or a manifestation of spiritual/existential issues.

You said that you're eighteen. That's an age where people are often faced with existential/spiritual questions. Also an age where people are most at risk of getting a psychosis. Also an age where people often starting to become less dependant on their parents and are having to face very wordly issues for the first time. Also an age where a lot of things change: moving out to a new place, meeting new people, learn new things.

A lot of very challenging and somewhat intimidating issues. And it is normal to sometimes be a little overwhelmed by any of those things.

So i mean, for people who don't realy know you, it is impossible to tell wich of these things i've listed you have been dealing with.

Usually, if people are realy starting to become crazy, people around them will tell them they're worried and the people starting to lose it will often interpret that as everybody conspiring against them. So: if everybody is conspiring against you while they tell you they worry about you, then you know for sure you're definately starting to go barmy. Especially if you also happen to be jesus, hitler or napoleon reincarnated at the time.
 
Hey chdedar.. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. In terms of diagnosing the reality status of your experiences I have to agree with the other comments here.. there's really no way for us to know, as we are not you - and are deciphering your written word accounts.. I also think that you should take a break and see how you feel over the coming weeks.. feel free to check in here if you are still struggling/feeling better. DMT can be very strange.. sometimes it is as simple as some life adjustments being made and the experience can become much more positive .. again .. hard to say at this point.

I'll also add that "reacting" to things unfolding in the DMT space in real time usually ime leads to unpleasant experiences.. observing phenomena unfold without trying to dwell on it (as tempting as it may be at the time) I think leads to clearer/more positive experiences.. trying to bail from a bad feeling can do more harm than good. Things can resolve quickly when you allow them to play out..

the Mckenna idea of not giving into astonishment is very sound advice :)
 
chdedar said:
I swear I’m not having a mental breakdown. I’m f**ked up tho from this last trip.

The entities have been chasing my happy go lucky colorful trips I’ve been having while listening to music and they finally caught up on this one.

I was shown a whole family in like a lab setting being watched. The entities pulled back the covers and shown they have been watching me maliciously all around my apartment like the family. I saw them in my room. The same ones that were spitting on me and grabbing me forcefully the other night which i was half joking about in my previous post in this sub. Thinking back a couple trips ago I wasn’t seeing the beautiful worlds I was before jamming to tunes. I saw “their” realm and it was thousands of them peering at me in this dark abyss. I perceived their hierarchy in which I was the bottom of the barrel and soon to be sacrificed type vibes. It really was only disappointing to see at the time, but now that I think it in my way back trips these new entities look like nothing I’ve ever seen before. And since I’ve had a few occurrences with them that have been adding up to my latest trip/realization. I keep tripping into a pink beauty these last few times but the entities were always jumping in angrily trying wipe away what I was seeing but I would avoid them and this is what they were mad about it seemed.

I know this all sounds insane and I agree, but I was legit scared for my life and had to force myself out of the trip. When I came back Into my room they were watching me like I was bait, shifting reality in different colors like I’ve never seen before in open eyed visuals.

I don’t know what I believe in, in terms of god or the like, but I’ve never been so scared for my life. I’m convinced at this point they’re real, don’t want me there, and are continuing to watch over me.

Typing this out has given me some relief so thank you for anyone who reads it.
Click to expand...

Hi chdedar, i'd like to give you my 2 cents about your experiences.

Psychedelics are a fine line to walk in terms of how we integrate our experiences. I try to evaluate my experiences from different angles i see them more like dreams. Of course these experiences are sometimes realer than real, especially when we spiral down into a difficult experience.

I've started using psychedelics at the age of 18 which in hindsight was way too young for me. I can't tell who you are and how you perceive the world, but for me it would've helped alot to first get the bigger picture (which my psychedelic use in the past has helped though...) and with better understanding of myself and reality in general dive into deeper, more spiritual experience like DMT.

When i would try to interpret your experience it sounds to me that you experienced some negative aspects of yourself. Not saying that these entities were real or not but something must have triggered their appearance.
I can somehow see how i would come to the conclusion if i had the experience that im in need of some shadow work.

I do not know what you're seeking, but if it is enlightement this could turn out to be a valuable experience.

I would also advise what fink said.
Dont forget, life is awesome before taking drugs. Sometimes it can be best to remember that and leave the hard stuff for later years. Go outside, play with friends, walk through woods, do fun work.
Click to expand...

I'm agreeing with him. Life is very precious so we should live it to the fullest.
If you still want to trip i would advise to get some people to have fun with and experience yourselves, or develop a holistic approach and be ready to have it hurt to shine some light on your darker sides hiding inside. Although i would wait a couple years. From my experience ALOT does change with ourselves from 18-25.
I'm 27 now and there aren't much similarities to my psychedelic use back then.

Its a marathon and not a sprint.
Stay awesome.
 
OneIsEros said:
Owsley Stanley, Tim Scully said in an interview, became an acid chemist because he wanted the telepathic experiences that were happening at the Grateful Dead “acid tests” to become common enough that our culture would tune in to a whole other level of operation. Like most LSD evangelist hopes, that didn’t pan out. Magical experiences like telepathy do continue to happen, but they are not accessible enough that it brought about a supernatural shift in the culture.
Click to expand...
Didn't pan out in terms of pure telepathy in he everyday world, perhaps, but I see parallels in the global obsession with smartphones as a perverted expression of that idea. Thinking about it rather gives me a "sorceror's apprentice" vibe. It also reminds me of Leary's techno-evangelist phase (viz 1994's "Chaos & Cyber Culture"); yeah, it didn't quite pan out as some of us might have hoped.

chdedar - I've not much to add to what the others have already said other than to ask what exactly you might have expected from the experience. How does this tie in with the rest of your life - aspects like diet, exercise, habits, family, friends & other relationships, work, study, home life, living situation, finances, identity, the wider vibes of society in general - well, I could go on but let's not overthink this. How did you find out about DMT and what made you interested in trying it? Did you have any prior experience with other psychedelics?

Since one of the things that psychedelics can do is connect us with the entirety of possibilities, it's important to acknowledge that this must by definition include the bizarre and terrifying - but also that your reactions to such experiences are also within the realms of your choice.

"Is it because [you're] eighteen?": well, no - more that (as others have also said) because you're eighteen you need to be aware of your still-developing brain architecture and go easy on yourself. But also maybe yes in that you are likely inexperienced and thus may encounter difficulties in handling challenging subjective phenomena.

If it's any reassurance, one line that has always stuck with me from the psychonauts of the 1990's is that "regular users of DMT will eventually encounter deeper fear than they have ever imagined," or something along those lines. So, regardless of the specifics, you are far from alone in this situation and time will be the healer here. You'll get through this and be the more resilient for it.
 
chdedar,

I am sincerely sorry you had such a rough experience. Here's the deal. The harder you dose, like if you take 45 to 70 mgs of DMT then the more entities you'll see. The harder you dose the more pushy and crazy the entities will be. At least that is true for me.

So, a couple things: Integration time is always helpful in gaining perspective. What that means is NOT using psychedelics and kind of leaning into the mundane - work, school, community, exercise, hiking, food, even entertainment. Meditate, shower regularly, eat well and journal, including dream journaling would be my recommendation. Think things over in a sober state of mind. Gain some perspective.

It kind of looks like DMT did for you what it does for many of us - showed you perhaps one of your worst fears. From my quick read I would say that fear is of being at the bottom of a hierarchy, of being pushed around by those who have more power. What does one do with this? Does one just feel sorry for oneself and get angry at others for what is perceived as mistreatment or lack of respect? OR does one take a FORWARD step and start to FIGHT for the rights of all oppressed peoples? Perhaps some food for thought . . . .

You are safe. The entities, whether or not they are real, are not going to penetrate consensual reality without a heavy dose of psychedelics or mental illness... this is why I spoke to integration first. Take care of yourself in the mundane. Keep your feet firmly planted in this world and figure a few things out. Take care of yourself. Remember to breathe from the abdomen, rather than the tension filled chest.

One more thing on this rant - I know for a fact (because I was TOLD and told to pass the message on) that Hyperspace LOVES you. It might be a kind of tough love but it is love.

I hope you start to feel better soon and keep us posted.
 
I think it's trauma that the op experienced. Perhaps generational trauma, where the entities one sees are and/or were represented in the experience, are the people who have been effected by such trauma. I dont't know for sure, but reading the op reminded me of my own experiences.
 
Hi there.
Go see a doctor/psychiatrist. The creatures u are experiencing are as real as you might think. And your voice alone is sometimes not enough to help you get through them. Get some kind of mood stabilizers in your doctors office.

28436193417_08e79069d0_h.jpg
 
It sounds like you've had a very powerful experience with a very powerful substance.
DMT is unlike many psychedelics. It hits fast and it hits HARD. I think the fact that it snatches you from where you were at moments ago and propels you into another reality is what makes it such an amazing yet potentially bewildering experience. Also the fact that it does that so quickly psychically there is no chance to prepare. You're still catching up. It can be a foreign place which makes sense cause it essentially is. Less than a minute ago you were there and now you're gone somewhere else. From a basic survival perspective, it's normal to be clambering for the exit. What the fu just happened?! Where did reality go?! Come back!!

Whatever is in your mind was unravelled and whisked around in no time at all. No way to get your bearings.
That makes it hard to work out what is going on. Deep stuff might have been untangled and liberated and so it's now blowing around. Stuff you might not want to face. It also makes it hard to distinguish between the swirling content deep in your psyche and the reaction to the sudden split with everyday reality.

I always believe a "bad trip" is failure to integrate the depth work with the split from everyday reality so the split overpowers the depth work. Your normal defense mechanisms don't work, you're normal thought process has taken a back seat, your reality has changed. You're exposed and to what degree depends on how exposed you feel you are based on the content in your minds eye. You fear breaking from normality and then fight it. And then all sorts of stuff can tag along for the ride, mainly whatever your mind can generate to explain what is going on and at this point you're more suggestible to what is offered you, be that this is all a conspiracy to fu me over, I'm going crazy, I've finally done it now, to something else like this means I'm closer to God, I'm in contact with something beyond me, I'm okay, I'm safe etc.

Grounding is really important. If you spend 1% of time being high, 99% should be spent grounding yourself.
It's where you'll find yourself again anyway.

As for the content, I think it may have symbolic relation to experiences in your life in some way or another. From my experience psychedelic trips tag along from content in our psyche so that whatever we experience when tripping is tinged with themes we have developed in our minds through our experiences. Paranoia for example can happen because of lack of control and lack of control can mean all sorts of things in terms of our lives. Being overwhelmed, powerless, helpless, abused, traumatized, ignored, isolated, trapped etc. It could be the unknown, unpredictable and therefore a byproduct of anxiety, worry, dread or even fear. The trip amplifies whatever that is and then attributes a label to it that we then relate to. So if you're having a difficult experience then you may attach paranoia to the trip because difficulty reminds you of something about to happen to you that is going to cause you to feel out of control, and then what you see is what you feel. Perceptions become reality.

You could just be unravelling stress, uncertainty, anxiety and of course finding yourself uncovering 18 year old you trying to work out what is going on and what you're about and where you are going in life. It's hard being 18. You're trying to find your place in the world and learning to swim.
 
Back
Top Bottom