Hi again,

A few more pertinent thoughts about my introduction have come to mind.  I don't mean to seem like a know-it-all, and I hope my former post didn't come across that way.  I have some strong beliefs about certain things, but they're just that: my beliefs.  Others may or may not agree, and that's to be expected. Beliefs, like a**holes, belong to each of us and we may or may not like their particular scent.

In general I'm not a happy person.  I cannot recall laughing with sincere abandon since I was a child.  In social situations, I'm very good at pretending to laugh just so I don't appear weird, but it doesn't come from the heart.

I have no experience with DMT, but I do have a strong spiritual background.  One the the things I hope to accomplish is a healing of my forgotten playful side.  I've often been told that life shouldn't be taken so seriously, and I sincerely want to remember that with all my soul. 

Earlier today I was at the clinic, an often stressful environment with sometimes rude and inpatient clients.  After several hours of waiting I was assisted by the most cheerful and friendly clerk on staff.  She surprised me by remembering my name.  I told her how much I appreciated her happy attitude and how her smile was infectious.  I truly wish I could be that happy even just a little bit of the time.  She thanked me for always being so polite.  I told her I always try to treat others in the manner I myself would hope to be handled.  She told me she was happy because it was easier to be happy than to be dour.  "Life is short so why not be happy," she said.  We exchanged  an unspoken moment of understanding amid the chaotic environment and I went my separate way.  Driving home, for no known reason, tears began to stream down my face amid sobs while I tried to concentrate upon driving.  I'm not certain if it was a happy cry or a sad one.  I like that clerk.  She truly touched my heart.

GammaTauri