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I feel like there's something wrong with me....

Migrated topic.

AlyDrops

Rising Star
Or I should say, I feel like I'm all backwards, as far as psychedelics go. First post, by the way, hey everyone. :) So let my explain....

I haven't had the chance to do DMT a really large number of times but I've had my handful of experiences, and mine have differed quite a bit from my friends and some of the ones I've read about. I think the most notable thing I've noticed is that all of my trips have been surprisingly "flat". That is to say, while the visuals do take on a very 3D characteristic, I feel as though I'm watching it all on TV with my face pressed up against the screen, like they don't have a very believable depth. All of my original experiences were with eyes closed and I wondered if this had anything to do with it so I tried keeping my eyes open through an experience and it still felt the same way. The room I was in immediately became like a drawing of itself right in front of my face and then the visuals started to form over it like it was all one solid sheet. This is totally opposite of what I get when I take mushrooms, which make me feel like my sober life is flat in comparison. However, one thing that applies for both tryptamines for me is that, while I do see what one might call entities forming in the visuals, they don't ever become... more than visuals. They remain a part of the patterns and never take on a life of their own. Again, it's like they're just a picture of the entities, not the things themselves. This has remained true even when I've been blinded by rapidly shifting hyperspatial objects. The other biggest thing I've noticed is that I never feel any form of "transcendental" states of mind, like... I guess the best way to put it is that I just feel like I have an extremely high amount of euphoria, as if I took a LARGE dose of MDMA, accompanied by massive visuals that never really grow beyond just changing shapes and colors. This one's a little harder to get across the way I want, but I'll get back to it in a minute.

Now, the reason this really makes me feel backward is because of the effects other psychedelics have on me. The only two psychedelics I've taken that have ever given me "true" entity contact, fully formed beings, telepathic communication, etc., are LSD and 2C-I. On my strongest LSD trip to date, I'm told I remained motionless and unreachable the whole time, but the way I remember it is that shortly after starting to trip I started getting tunnel vision, and I got up and went into the bathroom to stare in the mirror. My appearance and outfit morphed a bit, I got younger and took on this look something along the lines of psychotic postmodernism meets teenage hipster chick. As this was happening I was completely forgetting that I was tripping or who I was, and my surroundings began to shift and morph until there were several female entities dressed in the same wildly trippy style of clothing as myself, and suddenly I realized that I was at some kind of alien house party, and I was in the bathroom.... My memory of what all went on from that point to when I started coming down is kind of hazy, but it was extremely similar to the DMT breakthroughs I have read about, although maybe if from the point of someone in an insane asylum. Most of what happened I can't describe because there just really isn't any way too, but those entities and I made a statement against reality, it was beautiful and terrible.

So that's the first part, now the second. On my strongest 2C-I trip to date, I was lying in bed when suddenly the air became thicker and the walls became covered with these pink patterns that were like a cross between flowers and pinwheels. Suddenly there were countless "ghosts" floating around me, entities made of blue glowing energy that circled me and began to pass through me and tear my world apart as they did. But at the same time they were caressing my mind in bizarre but amazing ways, and speaking to me telepathically with caring messages. Everything in all of my senses began to vibrate. Now this is what I said I'd get back to later, about the body high thing. On this trip I got the classic DMT effect I always read about where your whole reality becomes made up of vibrating energy, my perception of "normal" was coming unglued and I had the most amazingly spiritual feeling I've ever had. I've never gotten anything even remotely like this on DMT, like I said before, it's just like taking a high dose of MDMA or some other powerful body high.

So like, what gives? Is my brain chemistry just all turned around? :?:
 
It sounds a bit like you have never really had a DMT breakthrough. With a breakthrough most will hear sounds as well as have visuals/visions. I dont even know how to explain it but it is nothing like a TV screen against your face. Have you ever had ego death with DMT?

Beyond that you might find oral DMT with harmalas/ayahuasca or analogues more interesting. I find orally with harmalas it is about as rich an experience as you are going to get. Smoking is great but it is so fast that it can be hard to really realize half of what is going on and remember it later. I am often more amazed with mushrooms or ayahuasca simply due to the fact that it lasts long enough for me to become somewhat stable and take it all in.

Also, remember everyone has they're own personal medicines. Your ally might not be anothers and vice versa. If you find LSD and 2ci provides everything you would need from DMT, than perhaps that is really all that you need.
 
The world is wonderful and wondrous, Aly; you are no exception to this. Do not seek enlightenment, else you will only find what you expected.

Increase your awareness by degrees, with patience and care; be playful, never serious. Life is funny that way. Yes, that way; life is laugh. Haha!!

Forget what you've read; you cannot see breakthrough coming, but you can always breakthrough right NOW. And...... NOW.







NOW






(Also NOW. But "you" may be too busy reading. Many of us have spent too much time reading in oppressive environments, such as school, and may have a harder time using what we read to enlighten ourselves. Goddamnit I swore I wouldn't rant. And in parenthesis! fml)
 
fractal,

I would say that I've never had a breakthrough experience with DMT, mainly for the same reasons I started this thread; I've definitely never had an ego death from it. Well... except for one isolated incident, which I can't really count, I feel. It was pretty long ago when I was younger and more of a street freak, I was on a strong dose of MDMA so I easily got talked into doing something ridiculous. I knew my extreme stimulation combined with heavily enhanced lung capacity would allow me to inhale an obscene amount of DMT before becoming unresponsive, so that's what I did. I'd say I probably remember the first 15-30 seconds or so, which were totally intense but still pre-breakthrough. I know I reached that state but after that point I remember nothing about the experience except that it was overwhelmingly euphoric. I can only imagine the kind of madness I put my poor psyche through, as I returned to consciousness a little over 25 minutes later, still tripping fairly hard. I also soon afterward became aware that I had become much more sensitive to psychedelics after the experience.

I would love to try Ayahuasca, I wouldn't be surprised if I liked it much more than smoked DMT. I do feel though that my mind may just synergize more easily with phenethylamines than with tryptamines. I've always wanted to try mescaline, but I've never been able to get my hands on it. Based on my experiences with 2C-I, I'm sure I would absolutely love it. I've also smoked syrian rue once on LSD and found the combination to be wonderful, I would have tried it with 2C-I if I weren't so cautious about the possible interaction. One thing I would really like to try one day is a mixture of caapi and mescaline. My bet is that this would be approaching the perfect experience for me.

Dedalus,

Thanks for the advice. 😉 This is actually why I'm taking a break from psychedelics at the moment. I decided that I was becoming too commanding in the psychedelic realm, I need some time to get my life on track without drugs (I'm only 20 and really feel I should focus on the more important things right now), allow my mind some time to mature, and learn to let the experiences come to me rather than seeking them out. :)
 
increase your dose , maybe you're a hard head , but go ahead slowly

also i can promise you dmt much more powerful than lsd and as much of an immersive experience , if you're seeing it like a screen than probaby you've not smoked enough for it to become immersive , the screen effect is usually a sign of a low dose when its not powerful enough for you to enter the screen

if you want to been inside the screen than outside it increase your dose , on a low dose dmt is like looking at the ocean from the beach and probably like a screen or a scenery , but high dose is like swimming in the ocean

go slow until you find the right dose , you could be a hard head
 
Adding to the already great advice the others have given, I would say to relax, and stop trying to accomplish anything. As long as your intent is loving that's all that matters. My cat has worked with other psychedelics for about 2 years now and very strange phenomemon has happened over and over. He's realized that these things choose when to reveal themselves, and no amount of rushing, pressuring yourself, or trying to follow all the rules is going to get you through the door. Sincerity, love and patience are the only ones, Enjoy the process, you're on the right track. :)
 
Thanks for the responses, guys. :) I've done a good amount of thinking about this over the past few days, especially about what fractal said about how everyone has different medicines, and I've decided I don't really care to keep trying with DMT. I think I'm still basically on auto-pilot with the exploring mindset I used to have, but I'm moving past it. I think I'm just going to stick to LSD until the day comes when (god forbid) I can't find it anymore, and then I'll probably just be done. I always figured myself as kind of weird because I don't really care too much about the intensity of an experience, I focus mainly on the way the experience plays out, and I've realized that, while DMT and other tryptamines, and even the phenethylamines, can all give me intense experiences, they just don't really hit that sweet spot for me. LSD knows me perfectly, even my weakest LSD trips I've found more interesting and therapeutic than proportionally much stronger experiences on other psychedelics. It's my real companion, and I'm fine just sticking with it. :d
 
aside from dose a big factor is also smoking tek. If you don't have enough screens in your gvg or a volcano pad or something similar then you might be losing some of your dose because it melts and drips down... if you're not using a GVG you are probably also losing some. Adding more in these cases might not even help all that much...

Sometimes your mind will also resist the experience. Preparing yourself for the experience, being prepared to go all the way, might help. Try meditating or something similar for a bit before the trip and only do it if you are really in tune with what-could-be..

good luck!
 
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