I have some concerns, could you explain this?

[Pedrosnpalo]

It happened at the start of the year.

I was watching the matrix and felt like it was true somehow, not like literally, I was listening to music and felt that they were speaking to me, I went to the groceries and bought somethings, i knew what the cost was just how i imagined it, i imagined a car then that car that i imagined became true it was a sports car, I go back home and leave to go to my friend because he was inviting me to come to his house.

I was anxious because everything that I imagine becomes true, as I was walking midway I closed my eyes and imagined the place to be empty then it became empty, and I imagined it to be crowded then it became crowded, I sat on the bench then looked up and saw a store that said 'be free' with birds and leaves, I walked and saw a scary old lady with red eyes and laughing, I continued walking I met a kid that told me do you know where you're going, idk why he asked me this, I left him and went to my friends house ,

I went upstairs and I was able to move really fast, faster than usual, and didn't feel tired, it was like I was an ethereal body, I went to their home and told them I can do telekinesis, they started laughing at me, they gave me some food, we then went for a walk, as I was walking everything was the same whenever I imagined something to be true it became true,

I imagined there were ghosts and I see a shop with ghost masks, it scared me a bit, we went back home, when I reached the home the floor felt like liquid, I went to the couch and layed down, and as I layed down I suddenly realised everything

, my friend told me you're finally awake now and quoted the skyrim meme, he told me he was awake since he was 8 years old, and told me that he was responsible for all the music and lines that I was listening and kept winking at me as if he planned everything, he told me everything depends on me as well, and they're like the ghosts in the matrix 2,

I can remove them if I want to, he told me that there are 3 rules you cant hurt yourself, you cant hurt others and you have to pretend to those who aren't awake, he was able to tell what I was imagining, he told me to imagine a girl, and he knew what I was imagining by detail multiple times.

everything felt so calm and peaceful and very fast, my friend told me reality is this fast and its normal speed, I went outside and I imagined the rain and it rained, I went and saw a buddha statue near the home, I walked away and sat on a bench, I got anxious and there were birds , then suddenly the birds started on increasing, some guy came and helped me, he said he was a magician, and told me to act normal, everyone felt like a god, he told me I need to go back home

"everyone knows the truth it's just you that doesn't " I felt as if no one was sentient, I did a lot of bad things like getting ice cream without paying, I felt like I was a god and in control of people, I went to the barber whom I know he told me to wake up, I was walking barefoot, he told me he used to bang his head from wall to wall until he woke up, and he told me that the best thing to do is not to talk at all, and he will cut my tongue off, so I wouldn't talk, he was joking ofcourse

I feel like this was kundalini awakening, but idk for sure, if someone could explain this to me or had similar experience I'd be thankful.

 

[Explorer2023]

I had similar experience back in my early to mid 20's. I was at my spiritual peak back then, but also young and probably a bit naive. Can you go into deep meditation very easily before sleep? My aura was about 1 km in diamter, anyone/anything within it was within my field of energy. I also smoked alot of pot back then too, and being young probably my hormones played a roll. I heard voices in my head once it said your a one man army and be careful how I pray. Looking back I was probably going schizophrenic. It all stopped after I was legit abducted by aliens.

 

[ShadedSelf]

I dont know if I can explain any of this, though I would like to know a bit more about it.

Personally, I call these sort of states, for lack of a better word, "psychotic", which is not neccessarily a bad thing, just an umbalanced one IME, when you start to feel like the whole world is a projection of you conscious/subconcious, the world is no longer populated, and you are somehow in control of all of it, which is technically true, yet I would say there is more to it.
Or/and it could just be kundalini awakening.

Was this while being sober?

You say you have corncerns, what are you concerned about?

It has also been a while, how has life been since this happened? Did you ever talk about this with your friend after it happened?

 

[OneIsEros]

So, I say this as a person who is personally very involved in magical phenomena:

This was psychosis. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I have heard this exact descriptor, so many times, that it is at this point cliche. Genuinely magical/shamanic phenomena are different from your experience. Your experience is classic psychosis.

Psychosis only gets worse the longer you stay there. My best friend started with the exact things you describe. By the end, he was literally hallucinating being in Hell. You experienced psychosis, and it is very, very dangerous. If this persists, get to a fucking hospital, and get on medication. This shit will wreck your life. And as a person who knows the shamanic, the mystical, and so on, I can say categorically: that is not what you experienced. You experienced psychosis, in a way that is so familiar to anybody who has experience with people experiencing it, that it literally almost elicits an eye roll reaction.

I have seen too many people go through it, and think it was something mystical. It was not. It destroyed them. Early intervention is the best measure. You are 100% right to be concerned, and should probably go to a hospital as soon as you can.

Want proof? Look up anything that meth head communities are into. Meth heads are fascinating people, because they all go heavily into psychosis, and because they are a community, reinforce one another’s beliefs. This is called “communal psychosis”. They’re all into it. They all think they are gods, with very elaborate conspiratorial quasi-religious sentiments. They are nuts. On a superficial level it sounds mystical, but in truth, they are in the throes of horrible demonic insanity, which becomes extremely obvious very, very quickly. Because they’re meth heads. And they describe things exactly the way you do, to a tee. I don’t know if you did meth or not, there is more than one way to go into psychosis - many people just go into it naturally - but if you want proof - look at what meth using communities say. It is identical to what you have described.

Seriously. Hospital.

 

[OneIsEros]

Also: sorry if that’s a pretty heavy way to say it - but those kinds of symptoms, while they may not immediately be wrecking your life, can get there, and it can be hard to get back. It is common, and the consequences of where it leads can be catastrophic, which makes it urgent. If this persists or is persisting, seriously, go to the emergency room.

 

[Explorer2023]

Seriously. Hospital.

Laugh out loud. I wouldn't admit yourself into a mental hospital.
These things resolve themselves in time. Psychosis is a brain chemical imbalance.
Gainful employment works wonders for mental illness and instability.
Also vitamin D sunshine is recommended.

 

[OneIsEros]

Seriously. Hospital.

Laugh out loud. I wouldn't admit yourself into a mental hospital.
These things resolve themselves in time. Psychosis is a brain chemical imbalance.
Gainful employment works wonders for mental illness and or instability.

Actually, standard practice these days is early intervention. When it persists it worsens and the person becomes more susceptible to it. This is also the case with epilepsy, and more evidence is showing, mania in bipolar (though it is not as conclusive with bipolar symptoms as it is with epilepsy and psychosis, which is well recognized at this point).

 

[OneIsEros]

To OP: be careful. What you have experienced is very common, and it is psychosis. Psychosis is very dangerous.

I’m bowing out now.

 

[UnSaNiTy]

You're doing it wrong. Do you even have any time crystals? Probably not. Common mistake. Get some time crystals, place one in each nostril and hum the song to the Jetsons. Boom. You will be in the cartoon with Elroy and the gang. They are not awakened either so just pretend when you get there. BEWARE of the Spacely Sprockets guy, he is really shady and will trap you in a time loop if you fall for his shenanigans, he will also attempt to steal the time crystals to smoke like crack.

 

[Pedrosnpalo]

It is possible Kundalini activated. Or I just woke up.
I don’t understand why you hang me to go to the hospital if I feel good and I'm completely in order. I trust myself more than people in white robes. If I feel and see more than some of you, maybe you just sleep? Again, I'm alright.
I smoked a lot of DMT and it aroused me. This is not just stupid use of substances and sticking into the TV as a lot of person do. You think you are the smartest, but what if you're not? I do not blame anyone, just the ground for thought.
There is nothing psychotic, I'm calm and understand that this is a vision. I am interested in your experience. In general, thanks for your opinion no matter what it is. Just please do not hang the labels.

 

[Pedrosnpalo]

Also: sorry if that’s a pretty heavy way to say it - but those kinds of symptoms, while they may not immediately be wrecking your life, can get there, and it can be hard to get back. It is common, and the consequences of where it leads can be catastrophic, which makes it urgent. If this persists or is persisting, seriously, go to the emergency room.

My mother is a psychiatrist by the way, and she said to me that I'm completely okay. Also, she told me that you're preconceived. Some people see more than others. It's alright. You haven't dramatize the things. I appreciate your worries about me, but you really dramatize a lot.

 

[OneIsEros]

Keep it on the backburner in case things become problematic. Keep an eye on how people are responding to you. Do not assign esoteric, metaphorical, or metaphysical meaning to people’s responses to you. For example: the kid that you said asked you if you knew where you were going, probably just thought you looked lost.

I suspect the way you heard his question, “Do you know where you’re going?”, was as though he was asking some sort of metaphorical, metaphysical question. “Where is this sense of profound ‘unveiling’ leading? Do you know where it’s headed?”

More likely: a kid saw a person in the early stages of psychosis walking around looking sort of lost, and out of basic human concern asked you if you knew where you were going - which question was immediately misapprehended in a manner typical of psychosis.

If it resolves itself and things become more familiar, good. If things remain this way, exercise caution. These states can be dangerous.

 

[scaredofthedark]

You're doing it wrong. Do you even have any time crystals? Probably not. Common mistake. Get some time crystals, place one in each nostril and hum the song to the Jetsons. Boom. You will be in the cartoon with Elroy and the gang. They are not awakened either so just pretend when you get there. BEWARE of the Spacely Sprockets guy, he is really shady and will trap you in a time loop if you fall for his shenanigans, he will also attempt to steal the time crystals to smoke like crack.

Not to be a negative Nancy, but I think we should be a place that takes the claims in OP's seriously. It does appear that he is experiencing serious psychosis. Given how unbelievable DMT experiences are, often blending into real life, it seems important that we have clear demarcation lines between our controlled, purposeful hallucinations and legitimate mental psychosis. I don't think trolling in this instance is appropriate.

OP,

I agree with others that this sounds like textbook psychosis. In fact, I have found other reports very similar to yours online before and they were diagnosed with schizophrenia after, I believe. Please consider that the brain is capable of delivering extremely realistic delusions that you can't discern yourself. Please consider getting another opinion on your mental health. It's not a weakness to double-check whether you're currently unwell.

 

[dragonrider]

I also agree that it sounds an awfull lot like a psychotic break.

The thing is that it is incredibly difficult, almost impossible, to convince people who're having a psychosis, that what they are experiencing is not real.

I would advice you to, since your mother is a psychiatrist, to make the following deal with yourself:

Your mother now says you're OK. And you are now taking her assessment seriously.
Promise yourself that you will still take her assessment seriously when she starts telling you that you are not OK.

So again: when your mother starts telling you that something is not OK with you, you don't dismiss her judgement as wrong, biased or inaccurate. Just as you're doing now. Promise yourself you won't make up excuses to not do this.

Secondly: i can tell you with 100% certainty that there is no great worldwide conspiracy going on against you personally. You probably know that as well, right now.

So when you start believing there is a conspiracy going on against you, then you are wrong. So promise yourself to seek help when you start feeling that people are conspiring against you.

 

[fink]

The only question that seems prudent to me is: Will you use your new powers for good or for evil?

 

[highalt]

Your experiences sound a lot like delusions of reference.
My younger brother started to have these experiences at a fairly young age. He thought things were happening and was getting messages in everything that were fanciful and grandiose and esoteric and bizarre but also disturbing sometimes, especially when they were more extreme.
There is a link here for you to check out.

My stance on this kind of thing is you don't swallow your own kool aid (kinda ironic considering we are on a forum talking about psychedelics! *Gulps*). You can take these references quite far and yield some deeper work and I think part of the process of discovery and finding the divine (whatever that means to you) is being able to pursue it to the degree of losing your sh*t. I mean, look at artists, singers, poets, philosophers and revolutionaries - are they mad, or geniuses? Or both?

For me it's the difference between a man wearing a dress with beads who enjoys the spiritual trip, and the man who believes he is God. The man with beads wearing a full length Indian dress looks like a nut surrounded by serious people doing serious stuff; doctors, police, government officials, "normal" people etc. He's lost touch with reality. In actual fact, he's grounded. He can play the game very well. He's not cooked. But the other guy, he's something else. No, really, he IS God and he WANTS, NEEDS you to know it. He's different and he's got messages to deliver. You don't get it, man! I'm sent from above as a messenger! While the other dude is like, that's a neat trip and gets on with his daily responsibilities. He's in a dress, so what? As Buddhism preaches be one with the Buddha but also do the dishes. As Rumi once said, trust in God but tie your camel. You can be the farthest out guy/girl there is but you're still part of THIS game where you have to turn up and do your bit; hold down a job, pay bills, taxes, obey laws and not commit crimes, vote and engage in politics, own or rent a home, manage finances and balance the books, participate in society, do the 9-5 stuff and be a normal person.

If you think you can no longer do that, and I think part of experiencing these things is also the beginning of a disconnect from normal life, getting help is important and grounding yourself so you don't stray too far off the well worn path. It's nice to go your own way in life but there are limits when it comes to whether that includes believing you're receiving messages that make you at the center of some extra special significance. Because, it probably doesn't and they are false. At the same time, they could be meaningful and it could be true. You are the center of everything, your control over reality is immense, this existence truly is a complex and deeply connected one where we truly do possess capacities to comprehend ourselves and the world in ways (we believe) no other animal does. We are animals while also more. We have one foot in heaven and one in the animal kingdom. The divine is within all for those who wish to acknowledge it.

And at the same time.... Business as usual. The trains have to keep running. Food still needs to be on the shelves. Babies need caring for in baby care units. Governments need hard earned tax payer money to do scrupulous stuff with. Wars need to be fought. Kids need to go to school. Malls need to be stocked full of consumer goods. Gas pumps need gas. Book shops need books. Universities need students. It goes on and on. All that stuff does need to happen, whether you agree with some or all of it or not. Because that's how things are.

When you get to the point where things seem like they are conveniently coming together to form some grand conspiracy, whether the results are euphoria or paranoia, I think its always wise to remember it's not one way. Something is being taken away at the same time and with experiences like this, the belief in there being something larger is usually in relationship to something being overlooked/shadowed. You can't just be God and there's no feedback from that. You can't just see these signs and that's it. It's relational. If there's a delusion of reference, its just the object but the overarching relationship. That's why I think you have to be careful what you believe when you get to these depths. Its a tight rope and before long you're entertaining more than you realize when you stop becoming cognizant of the bigger picture.

The minute you start to lose touch with this plane of reality where you find normal everyday reality, and start to swap that for the belief you're gifted with some powers, or there's more going on, something more significant than everyday reality, that's when you start gambling with your state of mind. That's when you need guiding back to solid ground.

You need something to hold onto you don't have a choice in this lifetime anyway. There's nowhere else to be other than here!

Be far out but also live in the mundane. Or another way, find the magic but also know that its surrounded by boring average sh*t but that's perfectly fine. There's a lot to find special but you don't find it if that's where you are all the time. You need to coming from a place that isn't special in order to understand the difference. I guess that's why celebrities lose their minds cause their life is being a hundred feet in the sky so that nothing is real anymore and so there are no risks no matter what they do and then, thud, they crash to ground.

Perspective! Grounding! And live in the everyday (even if it sucks from time to time!)

 

[Sironius]

What if you're actually deluding yourself bigtime, and what if you can acually control it by not believing every shit your mind makes up. For fucks sake. Trust me, you'll actually be more relaxed.

Sry for the bad words, but i want to make it clear.
What i say is, challenge yourself more. I do find the others comments accurate in what they claim. Take care.