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I just wanna say...

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bonestoner

Rising Star
I havent posted a whole lot on here but i read alot. But I wanna say that this is some crazy shit. Does anyone get that feelin right around that messed up breath that just kinda says, "HEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN!?" like first hit i feel completely leightheaded, barely there. Then if i hit it again, i get some good visuals like peaking on 3 or 4 hits of good lsd but i am utterly fucked up. i could function better on tranquilizers. But when i get here im pretty scared i have that chemical taste still on the breath. Now im completely fucked and im hallucinating badly. sometimes i get the feeling that a joke has been played on me. like this stuff is poison and its like ive been tricked into smokig so much of it. And i become aware of it as i start tripping. and of course i have that internal dialogue oim sure alot of you have had. the one thats like," im never doinjg this again i juyst want it to stop... im good on it... i dont want anymore type stuff. so if i hit it again...whats gunna happen. i just dont wanna be so messed up in my room all distorted. i wanna be normal in another place like you hear mckenna talkin about. so whats good? do i hit it a third time and see or am i destined to by skukllfucked by this shit
 
so you're suggesting that it is truly me that is messed up? Like i may be a lil unstable because i dont have a good job and im 20 with a baby girl but ive always been considered intelligent and level headed. i got a bad ca of the what ifs
 
that actually makes sense. because the furthest ive been... well i cant explain but it as def givin me the feeling that i am me and there is no changhing that. i felt very isolated that particular experience.
 
I think most people would be lying if they said they didn't have similar fears on their first attempts. I think its completely normal to have a mortal reaction. The entire purpose of having a regular normal consciousness is because its relevant to staying alive and living for a long time so naturally there is a psychological aversion to manipulating that state of mind into something so far removed from a survival-in-the-world-mode.
Its like Nike says "just do it"

You may not want to do something but you think it might be for your own good. Doing something in the face of fear or unease builds character.
 
First time with open eyes was kind of liked it at the start. I was completely blown away. Like if I've got a whole sea of energy thrown over me, so I just sat there and turned a machine and tried to figure out what the hell was going on with the world and my perception of my own physical body. My friend was busy shouting at me from the other end of a tunnel of confusion that I should take the third toke, but I wasn't simply brave enough considering what I was shown.

Of course I got really scared and strongly considered not doing it again. But I did, and it was amazing (45mg - subbreakthrough delight). When one know what to expect (at least a tiny bit) one could focus more on the trip itself and what was shown and felt, instead of spending all time and energy on the act of panicking and trying to force that sea of energy off instead of swimming in it. :)
 
ive had about 8 strong experiences with spice. the first time i got realll good visual was the time i felt i had been trickeed... also when im down from it i cant help but talk about how aweomse it was. its like im scared when im high on it but when i come back to normal im all like hell yeah that was awesome.
 
That sounds about right to me. I havent used a large dose for a good long while for that very reason. Sometime though I will feel the need to go that bit deeper, but I use so much mental preparation. I try to get myself in the mindset the experience gives, before lighting up. It's impossible to get you 100% before the hit, but it's good to remember the feeling, but also to be 100% prepared that each experience will be nothing like the last.
 
interesting you say they arent the same. mine have been. ive had the same cev 3 times. its like im lookin at a wall that is a sphere and i am inide it. and theres like little squiggly lines spiral whatever and no matter where i look of how i turn i see that.thats why i think its a sphere. because this blue shit with the lines is around me 360 degrees. been there 3 different times
 
soulfood said:
That sounds about right to me. I havent used a large dose for a good long while for that very reason. Sometime though I will feel the need to go that bit deeper, but I use so much mental preparation. I try to get myself in the mindset the experience gives, before lighting up. It's impossible to get you 100% before the hit, but it's good to remember the feeling, but also to be 100% prepared that each experience will be nothing like the last.
Click to expand...
Yeah this is about it, the mindset. It's like preparing to mentally jump off a cliff with a bungy rope. Even though you know it's not going to kill you, you sure are in for a hell of a ride. Whenever the time for lighting up gets closer, this starts to bug one a little bit. It's like a curious fear of the unknown, and one's heart is racing.
Afterwards though, it's a whole other story. Only 10 minutes after first toke I am totally relaxed and in synchronity with myself and my environment, I am feeling perfectly fine with all. So, generally, trying again is a lot easier.
 
bonestoner said:
interesting you say they arent the same. mine have been. ive had the same cev 3 times. its like im lookin at a wall that is a sphere and i am inide it. and theres like little squiggly lines spiral whatever and no matter where i look of how i turn i see that.thats why i think its a sphere. because this blue shit with the lines is around me 360 degrees. been there 3 different times
Click to expand...

My low dose experience EXACTLY.
 
thats why its a good idea to take a small little dose...wait a few minutes..and then plunge in..helps with the fear
 
The spice gives me extra control over my mind, but only in a completely out of control way. If for a minute I think "uh oh, I think I'm choking," I will be engulfed by that feeling. Now, this isn't a 100% reaction with me, but has happened enough to remind me to not expect anything.

Here's the problem. You've convinced yourself of a reaction on a deeper level. You carved a groove into your think-space, imagine your conscious influenced under spice as a ball that falls into the most prominent groove. You need to practice having greater control over your mind, your thoughts, and take a better approach then "getting f**ked."

Also, mind toning the language down a bit? It's just abrasive to read. :p
 
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I had similar journeys in the beginning. The enormity of it, the possibility of these entities being real and the thought that perhaps I am in some way damaging my immortal soul.:roll: Not to mention the series of coincidences and/or synchronicities that follow a total reformatting of the self. But these were unfounded fears of the unknown and experience has shown me that I am not in fact harming my etheric body and If I am, well, guess what, it grows back! If there are 'soul-suckers' out there it is because they are in here<points at head>

To answer your question. Yes. Dose more. You will be like>>>:lol:

It is a choice and with every choice comes the sacrifice of the path not taken. When I am UP, I too consider the possibility that at the very least, information in my head is being rearranged if not discarded. But always, without fail, I take something greater from the experience. Its called higher learning and I will choose this way over meditating my Kundalini up Rue de Chakra any day. Its the E-ticket express route and I am not getting any younger. Wiser, yes. But not younger.

I personally use it to shine light in the dark recesses of my psyche. It is an understanding teacher and a good tool to help YOU get out of YOUR own way and really grow.

So, Keep reading, keep vaping, keep learning. You are about to really get to know you.


Good luck,
You have been chosen,


J
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dude... priceless. I think much of my fears comes from the fact that when i was younger and taking shrooms and acid by handfuls, i had a bad trip where i related the psyche substance(anything that affects the 5htp) was really the fruit of the tree of knowledge. and God didn't think we were ready or would be ale to handle it and he said on this day you shall die... well it all kinda sounds familiar. My point is the dmt fits the profile. Almost can't handle it physically and mentally, and i get the feeling im dead sometimes, or maybe not dead just everything that is gunna happen has happened and i am at the end of my existence or something.
 
The best way to approach "death" is to accept it, honestly. Instead of "OH NO!" think "Cool, let's see what it's like."

Perhaps you are being tested? Perhaps you must first accept death before you can see beyond it. Always remember, DMT has never killed anyone directly.

Accept death, fly with the spirits, embrace the outer from the inner. :)
 
im goin tomorrow wish me luck. i hope i can get passed the huge body load to three good hits. so when i breakthru will i still have the body load? or will i feel that much different from after the second hit to after the third hit?
 
Must comment on this. My 1st time, in fact my only time so far with spice, and 2nd time with psychedelics. I held the 2nd hit, then it just rushed me! It was overpowering! I told Dan "Oh god, take the bong, turn the lights off I have to lay down!". Going to take Jorkest advice, although I thought of this idea of predose to myself not that long ago.

good luck!
 
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