Hi..
Im new here, and im from sweden so excuse my English. Im going to try to cut this as short as i can.
Ive been on xanax for 7 years now. Been so ruined mentally that i was close to the edge so to speak.
Then 7 months ago i found dmt... it changed my life.. made me see the beauty of this world for the first time. Never been so happy. I have smoked dmt for about 70-80 times with breakthrues. It came to a point where it even made me quit benzo.. with NO withdrawl !
Then i started working again. Work with disabled people so it takes my energy away.. i was clean for 1 month, then i started using xanax again.
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3 months ago i smoked the dmt as i usally do, i use it every other week in the end. This time, all i saw was a black void.. no euphoria, no visuals, no nothing. I tought maby i fucked something up cause i did lsd highdose 1 week before.
So i took a break for a month and smoked again, still a black void with a toutch of read colours with no euphoria. I tought maybe i build up a tollerance (but there as no loss of potency, it just stopped working).
So now i took 2 WHOLE months off, been eating 30mg melatonin each night to help me get back faster.
Ive been waiting every fucking day for this, i cant live my life without this medicine. So today i smoked again. And yes.. got yellow shallow visuals with no euphoria. More then last time but after 2 months break and supplemented with melatonin i tought my tollerence was gone.
Im starting to think that i ruined something in my head and i never going to be able to come back.. im so heartbroken i dont know what to do.. i needed this so god damn bad words cant explain.
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I just came home from a 3 days ayahuasca cermony. I got home after 2 days cause it dident work either... The shaman told me that the benzos ruined it and i need to cut it.
And yes, benzo ruin dmt. Ive tried to use it the same day to get the edge off before i smoke and it completly ruins everythins so i know how that work. Thats why i never take benzo before i smoke dmt and it worked every time. Thats why i dont belive that benzo is the problem.
I dont know how much more i can take of this life, i feel dying at heart. I dont got 2 more moths to suffer just to see if the dmt "might" work. I might got no choise but i really hope i do.
Please guys, i need your help in this. What can i do !?
Im new here, and im from sweden so excuse my English. Im going to try to cut this as short as i can.
Ive been on xanax for 7 years now. Been so ruined mentally that i was close to the edge so to speak.
Then 7 months ago i found dmt... it changed my life.. made me see the beauty of this world for the first time. Never been so happy. I have smoked dmt for about 70-80 times with breakthrues. It came to a point where it even made me quit benzo.. with NO withdrawl !
Then i started working again. Work with disabled people so it takes my energy away.. i was clean for 1 month, then i started using xanax again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3 months ago i smoked the dmt as i usally do, i use it every other week in the end. This time, all i saw was a black void.. no euphoria, no visuals, no nothing. I tought maby i fucked something up cause i did lsd highdose 1 week before.
So i took a break for a month and smoked again, still a black void with a toutch of read colours with no euphoria. I tought maybe i build up a tollerance (but there as no loss of potency, it just stopped working).
So now i took 2 WHOLE months off, been eating 30mg melatonin each night to help me get back faster.
Ive been waiting every fucking day for this, i cant live my life without this medicine. So today i smoked again. And yes.. got yellow shallow visuals with no euphoria. More then last time but after 2 months break and supplemented with melatonin i tought my tollerence was gone.
Im starting to think that i ruined something in my head and i never going to be able to come back.. im so heartbroken i dont know what to do.. i needed this so god damn bad words cant explain.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just came home from a 3 days ayahuasca cermony. I got home after 2 days cause it dident work either... The shaman told me that the benzos ruined it and i need to cut it.
And yes, benzo ruin dmt. Ive tried to use it the same day to get the edge off before i smoke and it completly ruins everythins so i know how that work. Thats why i never take benzo before i smoke dmt and it worked every time. Thats why i dont belive that benzo is the problem.
I dont know how much more i can take of this life, i feel dying at heart. I dont got 2 more moths to suffer just to see if the dmt "might" work. I might got no choise but i really hope i do.
Please guys, i need your help in this. What can i do !?