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I was told not to come back

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Shayku

Shayku

Rising Star
Hi,

Another question of mine : After my last trip, which was undoubtedly my strongest, I thought I saw some jimjam entities turn towards me and say "Don't come back here!". It's a little disconcerting. Of course I'll trip again, but I'm not sure what to make of this. It is true that I experienced some anxiety during that trip and kinda slipped out on my own at the end, so maybe that was just a reflection of my own fear. Or maybe they (or again, I) wanted to tell me to go integrate my first few trips before I came back. I'd hate to think I did something wrong, in fact I tend to do nothing and let them put on their show. I certainly have no ill intents towards the entities and would actually like to 'make friends' in a way, as had happened during the previous trip. An entity had taken me aside to go on about his hyperspatial problems, and though I could only be amused by what I didn't really understand, I came out of it feeling like I had made a genuine connection, I had made a little jimjam friend, as crazy as it sounds :)

So what gives? Who are these jocky entities turning their backs on me?
 
have you been blasting in the same spot?

Even if its a good blast that takes you away from this planet I would suggest a change of scenery, it always helps my trips evolve.

Also instead of taking such a passive approach, maybe try asking the essence a question before the blast.

just my thoughts
 
Good advice.

In fact the time they told me not to come back is the only time I was tripping at a friend's house, surrounded by friends, fellow trippers who have yet to try the spice. Other times I was alone. I think that is part of the anxiety, knowing that others were around. I personally feel like loneliness is a good idea with this substance. Perhaps this will change after my friends have blasted off and acquire a certain understanding beyond their current curiosity.

As far as the passive approach goes, yes, being more active is my goal for this weekend. It's just so overwhelming in there. I've had the desire to speak and ask things, but every time it seemed like my problems, my words, my language itself would be absurd to them, if not disrespectful. But I'll do it. This fear of disrespect may in itself be disrespectful, as if I was holding back bad things, which I'm not. It's just that they go so fast, taking up so much space, it feels like walking into a pristine forest - I don't want to disturb anything. I'll bring myself to trying a different approach and see how it goes.
 
Hey Shayaku!

Curious enough i had sort of the same experience yesterday, but for me it was "don´t come back for a week"... For my case i gotta feeling She did wanted me to integrate and meditate on stuff more before i dive in again, as for you if you feel it might be a projection of your own anxiety, why not try to do the same? Integrate and when you feel prepared just go to them again, see if they wanna come out and play some more :p
But gotta agree with Capt_bones, maybe going somewere diferent for your next blast off could result well.

Safe travels
 
Thanks! Good to know it's not too uncommon. Also this rejection was towards the end, so not as 'real' as the heart of the trip, and it did feel a bit like I might have been projecting somehow. My next trip, next weekend, will be at an outdoors hippy-chill-rave-type event. Not my usual style, but I look forward to some discussions with veterans between blastoffs :)
 
Agreed, but it's a pretty chilled out, new agey event. Spice will be available there. And it's in the forest, with a lake. My plan is to go off into the nature, find a comfortable spot and do it there. Not leaned against a speaker shaking with psy-trance. I'll have a couple of friends maybe wanting to be introduced, and a couple with whom discussions have been great, so in fact, I'm basically going there to blast off. My room is not the best setting. Too urban, too many roommates and phones, and I don't like to associate my living quarters with the psychedelic experience. This is where I come back down to reality, and I like to keep it that way.
 
That may be wise, but I want to try this. That festival is actually a great context, with lots of traditional healing stuff going on, lots of people into shamanism, some trusted friends, etc. I want to try communicating with the entities, being more assertive, finding an intention. It is there that I will know wether I need to take a break. Maybe I'm being a bit pushy, I'll know, I want to find out.
 
I'd be careful of not doing what they explicitly ask of you. I wouldn't write it off just because it wasn't the response you wanted. Forgive me if I'm wrong here, but it seems from your posts that you're pretty new to this, and yet you seem to be keen on introducing loads of other people. This is also a bit concerning seeing as you don't actually extract spice yourself but pay others to do it for you.

It's a real responsibility to introduce another person to hyperspace, and your decision to send squadrons of virgins into the Inner Reaches may be one you come to regret later when the honeymoon is over and you taste the immense power and the darkness within, and realise that this is not a game, or merely an interesting distraction or a fun thing to do with your buddies.
 
You're mostly right - I'm new at this, and I'm being confronted with all of these differences between 'us'. I'm probably a bit immature and lacking experience, but please don't make it sound more irresponsible than it is. I'm not introducing 'loads' or 'squadrons' of people. The fact is I am with a group of about 6 'psychonauts'. We're a pretty closed group. We each have our reasons, methods, characters, interests, problems. I tend to be the most adventurous, but also the most documented and well-read, which is why I'm here. I bring in information, and courage, though I do have to pay attention to the line between courage and recklessness. I am not the 'prime' shaman type in the group, probably the second one. Our 'prime' shaman is mostly concerned with relationships between people, whereas I am generally attracted to 'seventh chakra' type experiences, which is why I've been particularly enjoying dissociatives, and why I am the one bringing this substance into the circle. It is these people that I want to introduce. We have a lot of prior experience together. I'm not handing this out at a rave, no worries there.

As for the response they gave me, I do not want to act against their will, but I genuinely wonder wether that message was a projection of my anxiety, or a response to my passivity. I understand that I am taking a bit of a risk here, but this uncertainty combined with the coming favorable context is making me want to check.

Do you have perhaps a suggestion of an intention or focus I should work on in that regard?
 
I personaly find the passive approach to be the most meaningful. The molecule takes you for a ride...one you are not in control of. I have noticed the more I try to control the experience, the less I seem to see. The only intention I have learned to embrace is the desire to let go of intentions.

Anxiety does seem to have a massive impact on the experience, to the point that the entities may have been saying "Don't come back here, while like this."
TrustLoveMan said:
"Being scared lets you know you're on to something important"
"If you're not scared, you're not taking a chance, and if you're not taking a chance, what the hell are you doing?"
Click to expand...
This thought has helped me profoundly.
 
I would listen very closely to anything hyperspace has to communicate. Sometimes it's willing to tell you twice before the spanking comes.

There's absolutely no good reason to force it, and SWIM says that the call of the spice has always been very clear. The way that you've put your question seems like you already know the answer.
 
Thanks Eden, that's comforting indeed. I do think that it's my wanting to slip out that they didn't like. I'm thinking I'll go on a slightly lower dose. That time there were so many of them, I just wasn't able to meditate beyond it. Although to be fair, most of the trip was great, beautiful, I had never seen the dome that big. I had taken more than usual, using a new and evidently effective pipe. At some point I slipped on a mental banana peel, fell down and all the kids laughed at me as I got up and walked home. That's how it felt, and not like a serious look-into-my-eyes warning. I think I'll be fine on a lower dose, just gotta take it slow. I was much more comfortable with just one or two of them around, I could relate.
 
Ragabr i do agree with what has been said here and when it corcerns me i tend to follow her teaching or instructions religiously, but also, and at least in my case, comunication in hyperspace tends to be telepathical. And it is sometimes difficult learning how to hear what is your voice and what is comming to you. Again - this is what happens to me, i make no assumptions that this happens to everyone. One of the first teachings She gave me is that i should learn how to differentiate what she was telling me from my own toughts.
So to me it is possible that it might have been his own state of mind playing tricks on him. But then again also it seems to me that it is much more plausible that Shayku has been given some real advice and should meditate and integrate before venturing again.
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Shayaku, lower dosage is in no means related to smoother travels, granted that i´m very very very sensitive to DMT but my only two frightening trips were on low dosis.
 
sounds like you have a awesome group of friends, have they tried DMT as well?

maybe those entities meant not to go back to that 'location' although we don't really have any control over where we end up in hyperspace. I say keep going on your journeys with unclouded eyes and full of gratitude and lets see if they say that again =]
 
RigelL - Well, something made this trip a bit different from the 3 others before. If it's not the dosage, then the presence of 4 friends looking at me perhaps. And in that sense, I agree with the difficulty in recognizing my "voice" or banal insecurities from real messages. I'm just not sure here. I also recognize that integration is important. That's what I'm doing here, in a way. And this weekend, I won't be blasting off when I get there of course. I'll be there to meditate, chat with veterans, feel out the place and myself. I may not blast off, I'll let the moment decide. And I'll report back :)

Mooshy - Thanks, yeah, it's a great group, they haven't tried DMT yet, but most are curious and just waiting for the right moment. Our usual basic trip was MDMA-Ketamine-Nitrous, but we've all been feeling the aftermath of MDMA in one way or another so most have been been off of it now. You may be right about the location, too. It seemed like some kind of jimjam 'garden' area, like a big public place. More overwhelming to me than the tunnels I travelled through before, where an entity or two would occasionally pass by. Yeah, I'll go back, I'll try to set an intention or focus that seems right, and see where that takes me.
 
ragabr said:
I would listen very closely to anything hyperspace has to communicate. Sometimes it's willing to tell you twice before the spanking comes.

There's absolutely no good reason to force it, and SWIM says that the call of the spice has always been very clear. The way that you've put your question seems like you already know the answer.
Click to expand...

Wise words from Ragabr. I learned a hard lesson in this way. I had a similar experience to that which you report Sheyku, where I was told not to come back until I had my house in order, and had addressed certain aspects of my life. Needless to say, I went back pretty soon, and had an extremely scary ride. You can search for these experiences in the forum if you are interested.

Who's to say if these experiences were connected or not? I have chosen to believe they were and havent touched spice for a while now. I will go back, but I came to learn that this stuff is genuinely not for recreation. If you feel you were taught a lesson - listen to it. If your heart of hearts tell you that you are ready for more - you probably are.

Good luck friend!!
 
One thing I do before a dose is take a small hit to ease the anxiety. I then sit for 5 or 10 minutes and meditate. I clear my mind so I can try to enter hyperspace without any baggage. I try to clear the slate in my head and let the spice fill in the rest. Give it a try.

Goodluck and safe journeys
 
I'll try that. It'll also melt it and remove some air, making it easier to vaporize after, or so I suspect.

Thanks for all the advice and good wishes - still meditating :)
 
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