StrangeLoop
Rising Star
Hey there everyone,
I've already wrote a little essay about my first DMT experiences in the First Steps in Hyperspace forum, but I keep wanting to write loads and loads of irrelevant backstory in there about myself so I think I need to get another separate essay off my chest!
I think I was 16 when I started using visionary substances, the first being salvia divinorum extracts. This stuff came on way too fast for me to understand and integrate the experiences, especially since I had no experience with similar drugs. Then I found a field with abundant mycology and chomped down on the rather weak field substance eagerly. I was definitely not in the right mindframe to use these substances however, in high school I bounced around between a lot of different drugs, many of them very damaging and useless. At age 17 I started growing mush at my parents house (I know I know, stupid) which provided me a good 6 months of abundant fungus. It was at this time that I had my first somewhat entheogenic experience, although it was scary and talking to people who weren't really there made me think I had just gone completely and permanently insane, luckily I came back.
An 18 year old me moved to college and discovered LSD which scared the living shit out of me the first time. It made NO sense whatsoever and it took me over 6 months to fully reconstruct the experience in my mind and figure out what had happened. I think I had so many revelations the first time on acid that my mind tried to block the experience from my memory because it didn't want my reality to change that drastically that fast. It was actually smoking pot several months later which triggered some intense deja vu, and caused me to remember the events of that first time.
The deja vu that occurred then made me ecstatic as I re-realized all of the things I had figured out on acid, and it piqued my interest in psychedelia again. I really really wanted to try LSD again at this point but it was nowhere to be found. I rediscovered mush at this time, buying from drug dealers which was a very strange way of obtaining psychs for me. I had some more fun with them but nothing profound. I then found some more LSD this past summer after a drunk driving accident nearly ended my life. It had been nearly a year since I had any acid and I had yet another life changing experience. Well it was a combo of nearly dying and having that acid trip within a few weeks of each other that really changed me.
Thus began this past fall semester of me eating acid somewhat regularly. Far too often. I had maybe one or two more meaningful experiences during this time, even though I took at least 10 trips in this short time period. Eh, I was having fun at raves and parties that it didn't bug me too much.
I had Dr. Strassman's DMT book sitting on my coffee table all semester although I never got around to reading it because I was "too busy with school." One morning around 7AM, I was coming off the previous night's acid and I realized I wasn't too busy with school, I was too busy with acid. This made me realize I was wasting valuable time that could be used for personal growth, so I decided to put down the acid for at least a few months, and I sat down right then and there and dove into DMT The Spirit Molecule.
What a great read, I finished it in about two days. That book, as well as a few Aldous Huxley books, an intro to philosophy class, and lots of psychedelics in the past semester really really impacted me. The nature and experience of death is such a huge mystery to me now, I had been hardcore atheist and materialist who assumed that death was simply the end. But time is a construct of our brains isn't it, how can death be the end if concepts such as "beginning" and "ending" only exist within a living brain?
It was high time I explored eternity. And January 1st 2010, a rather generous amount of DMT arrived on my doorstep.
To infinity...and beyond! 8)
I've already wrote a little essay about my first DMT experiences in the First Steps in Hyperspace forum, but I keep wanting to write loads and loads of irrelevant backstory in there about myself so I think I need to get another separate essay off my chest!
I think I was 16 when I started using visionary substances, the first being salvia divinorum extracts. This stuff came on way too fast for me to understand and integrate the experiences, especially since I had no experience with similar drugs. Then I found a field with abundant mycology and chomped down on the rather weak field substance eagerly. I was definitely not in the right mindframe to use these substances however, in high school I bounced around between a lot of different drugs, many of them very damaging and useless. At age 17 I started growing mush at my parents house (I know I know, stupid) which provided me a good 6 months of abundant fungus. It was at this time that I had my first somewhat entheogenic experience, although it was scary and talking to people who weren't really there made me think I had just gone completely and permanently insane, luckily I came back.
An 18 year old me moved to college and discovered LSD which scared the living shit out of me the first time. It made NO sense whatsoever and it took me over 6 months to fully reconstruct the experience in my mind and figure out what had happened. I think I had so many revelations the first time on acid that my mind tried to block the experience from my memory because it didn't want my reality to change that drastically that fast. It was actually smoking pot several months later which triggered some intense deja vu, and caused me to remember the events of that first time.
The deja vu that occurred then made me ecstatic as I re-realized all of the things I had figured out on acid, and it piqued my interest in psychedelia again. I really really wanted to try LSD again at this point but it was nowhere to be found. I rediscovered mush at this time, buying from drug dealers which was a very strange way of obtaining psychs for me. I had some more fun with them but nothing profound. I then found some more LSD this past summer after a drunk driving accident nearly ended my life. It had been nearly a year since I had any acid and I had yet another life changing experience. Well it was a combo of nearly dying and having that acid trip within a few weeks of each other that really changed me.
Thus began this past fall semester of me eating acid somewhat regularly. Far too often. I had maybe one or two more meaningful experiences during this time, even though I took at least 10 trips in this short time period. Eh, I was having fun at raves and parties that it didn't bug me too much.
I had Dr. Strassman's DMT book sitting on my coffee table all semester although I never got around to reading it because I was "too busy with school." One morning around 7AM, I was coming off the previous night's acid and I realized I wasn't too busy with school, I was too busy with acid. This made me realize I was wasting valuable time that could be used for personal growth, so I decided to put down the acid for at least a few months, and I sat down right then and there and dove into DMT The Spirit Molecule.
What a great read, I finished it in about two days. That book, as well as a few Aldous Huxley books, an intro to philosophy class, and lots of psychedelics in the past semester really really impacted me. The nature and experience of death is such a huge mystery to me now, I had been hardcore atheist and materialist who assumed that death was simply the end. But time is a construct of our brains isn't it, how can death be the end if concepts such as "beginning" and "ending" only exist within a living brain?
It was high time I explored eternity. And January 1st 2010, a rather generous amount of DMT arrived on my doorstep.
To infinity...and beyond! 8)
