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I'm hanging my head in shame

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88

88

Rising Star
I fucked this one up pretty good... :oops: but in a spirit of humility and as a caution to anyone else who might find themselves in a similar situation, I'm going to share the experience.

I've been in a really good headspace lately; or so I had thought. Spent the weekend with the kids, have been working hard mending fences with my ex-wife, started swimming again after many years, pursuing yoga - all good stuff.

It's been a busy day, though - got up really early, drove the kids to school, belted back to work, did a bunch of stuff and I think I had 8 cups of strong coffee through the morning. After lunch, I ducked out; the weather's glorious today. On the road home, it seemed to me everyone on the road was a bit aggressive - maybe its the heat (we British aren't at all used to it:lol:) but then maybe it was just the gallon of caffeine swilling around my system.

Went for a long swim to settle down, but still had a bit of an edge on me. And foolishly decided to enter hyperspace to continue my lessons.

THAT, let me tell you WAS A BAD IDEA. Wow - when you get spanked Inside, man it is a walloping.

It started badly, and basically got worse.

"Uh-uuh. NO. No, no, NO!"

It was absolute mayhem, all sorts of nasty shit being thrown at me; no coherence whatsoever. There were actually elves (who looked exactly like jorkest) blowing raspberries at me and fucking mooning me - seriously. They opened up the top of my head quite angrily and dove inside and started throwing stuff out with a kind of, "look at this rubbish! What is all this shit?". There was stuff like my car, people I vaguely know at work and they're saying to me, we don't care about all this stuff - fucking concentrate! What are you doing coming here with all this crap?

Then the tendrils are there, directing me with big neon flashing arrows,each of them saying 'stupid, stupid, stupid' and the arrows are leading towards a big comic but absolutely terrifying dungeon with a skull and crossbones over it and fire belching out of the entrance. I was shitting myself.

Then the dialogue starts:

"Okaaay, we've got a STUPID one here ... so lets spell it out for him."

Strange neon light lines start writing something to my right. Then, like shouting in my head:

"DO NOT COME HERE WITHOUT FOCUS.

DO NOT COME HERE WITH UNRESOLVED ISSUES.

DO NOT COME HERE UNLESS YOU ARE READY"

I was shoved out unceremoniously, my head hanging in shame. I feel they have taught me a great deal, but, like a child, they expect more from me now. They have shown me what is required to enter this space, and navigate and I did not follow the guidance. I should have known better, and now I do.

Think it may be a little while before I go back in.
 
Its' my own fault - it's not like they haven't told me all this before ...
 
I think at one time or another that has happened to everyone...Just focus your intentions and know that all is forgiven and return when the call comes in!

Aether
 
hahaha.. sorry for laughing bro, but I know this experience and I know how downright cheeky DMT can be.

Its best to keep intentions before diving in I reckon, but I guess we all underestimate the awesome power of the spice sometimes. I'm sure it'll be completely different next time.
 
Creatures that are part clown, part elf and part jack-in-the-box. They are made of coiled springs, twisting patterns and the goo from the bottom of lava lamps. They stick their tongues out at me and pull extremely silly faces.

This is a common visual theme for me on the way to and from hyperspace.

They are not threatening though - just playful.

DMT really is very odd, isn't it?
:lol:
 
sometimes these clowns are just that, clowns. Ive had things like that happen with large doses of mushrooms and I had to tell them to F-off and let me have my trip. Dont underestimate yourself is all I am saying, or overestimate hyperspace entities..sometimes there just a bunch of Loki's..usually I can tell the difference though..

Maybe it's just a test..

I dunno how you can drink 8 cups of coffee like that thought! thats crazy! Id be having to drink 2 cups of water for every cup to coffee to stay properly hydrated.. I full cup and I get jittery..I really dont like alot of caffine at all going through my system when I blast off..it gets to be too much to handle..especially if im smoking changa with harmalas.
 
These are the voyages that teach us the most and are, IMHO, easiest to integrate. No vauge/obscure message there. Set and setting cannot be forced, rushed, or hurried.

Very nice.
 
oi. what a shit-storm! I can't imagine how intense that was!

but....:d Such a clear and concise lesson! hahaha,
Thank you 88, i love this!


a
 
a-hahahaha...... I am not laughing at your expense, but at your humorous accounting of the experience. It conjured some very funny mental images.

Raspberries and mooning......lmfao!
 
I feel for you 88.

I just posted a thread called "spicy superstition" about my averting a likely copy of your experience. Or not. that's sort of what the thread is about.

sometimes in our busy lives the surface contentment only lightly veils the turmoil beneath. Why is it so easy to kid ourselves?

I find it so hard to lie to others, but i find it as equally easy to lie to myself as I do to believe my own lies! Split personality indeed.

Glad you're alright though.

Cheers,
JBArk
 
Thats intense man , I've found in my experience I'M the biggest problem.
In fact I remember having a typically amazing trip laying on my back looking at the trees fractalizing and so forth.
Simultaneous to this was an inner panic anxiety taking place for no apparent reason. it would not go away.
SO I posed the question to the situation: Whats the problem here ? The answer came back loud and clear " YOUR THE PROBLEM ! "

I have screwed up many times even a few days ago I was out hiking and drank a red bull because i felt a bit tired. BIG MISTAKE
and I know better too.

I can now say that red bull and spice does not mix in any way. I totally wrecked the situation.
it put me into a sleepy exhausted state then left me with a headache from hell for the rest of the day and night . that was with very pure spice too.
Stupid stupid stupid..


In a general sense working with this stuff is like racing a F1 car, eventually your going into the wall . But damn does it smart when you do !

I am trying to be more vigilant and careful about all factors from now onward. I got my clock seriously rocked a few months ago and I'm still trying to deal with it.
I know now how bad it can get when it goes wrong and its bad beyond all imagination.
 
It was 27 degrees in london today and everyone had a baby about it. So many angry londoners on transport. Anywho, you did paint quite a funny picture of your experience, 88. I like how even a bad experience can be seen as something humorous :)
 
1664 said:
Creatures that are part clown, part elf and part jack-in-the-box. They are made of coiled springs, twisting patterns and the goo from the bottom of lava lamps. They stick their tongues out at me and pull extremely silly faces.
:lol:
Click to expand...

That's the fellows ... and I've encountered them many times before; only this time they were seriously pissed with me!

The thing is, I know the drill - they've shown me everything I need to do in order to navigate and make contact. It's about going in with a still mind, peaceful heart, open, ready-to-receive awareness. No distractions, no deadlines, just peaceful, attentive focus; and I know this.

The best journeys are those preceded by a serious cleaning and tidying up session, followed by long walk (preferably in nature), 20 minutes of yoga and 20 minutes of just sitting in the half-lotus meditating.

But I was impatient this time - hence the cartoon horror show...
 
1) not everything learned in hyperspace is true, entities can lie
2) not all entities are friendly, some are just obnoxious
3) some entites seem to NOT want us to break through
4) sometimes, after being told things and ignoring them entities can get VERY expressive.

On Aya especially, I am ususally given some sort of instructions for my next voyage. I find that things work out MUCH better if I listen to what Mama asks of me.
 
acolon_5 said:
4) sometimes, after being told things and ignoring them entities can get VERY expressive.

On Aya especially, I am ususally given some sort of instructions for my next voyage. I find that things work out MUCH better if I listen to what Mama asks of me.
Click to expand...

I think you've hit the nail on the head there, acalon ... I know that, if I want to go back inside, I have to be very, very serious about it, and incorporate previous lessons...
 
STIMULANTS + SPICE ALMOST ALWAYS SPELL DISASTER!

....at least that's been my experience....

glad you're back safe n' sound my brother. icehouse shaman hit it right on the head- these ass-whoopins are always the easiest to integrate and learn from... no guesswork required! ;)

L&G!!
 
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