Death&Decay
Rising Star
Greetings friends,
I never thought I would be at this point, at this place, here and now. It's actually quite amazing, in fact there is no such word to describe it. Before my awakening I was soulless, without understanding, without belief. It was something beyond my realm of logic, something I merely swept under the rug, acting as if it did not exist, denying it entirely. How feeble minded I was, in retrospect my understanding of reality was simply that of a child's -- unaware.
Before my experience, I was, I guess you could say, Aehtiest. I wished to believe, but I couldn't. My logical nature would not let me truly have faith in something so super natural. It was a great romantic fairy tale, but it was only that, a story. A truth, possibly, but the bleak reality for me was we live and we die and that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. One shot, so make it count. But now, after visiting such a place, such a reality, it seems more true and more realistic than anything one could possibly experience in this reality.
I will try and keep this short, so bare with me. My first experience was rather frightening. I could only compare it to how death must feel. It was as if I was truly dying, I remember saying to myself "You've done it now, you fool" and with that I let go. All sound ceased to stop, all except for a harmonious, high pitched vibration which then began to consume my entire body. It was more than sound, more than a vibration, it was in fact the universe devouring my flesh and releasing my soul. I remember the feeling of my physical body crumbling like stone as the sound coursed through me like water. Just as I had become consumed by it, my environment shifted into what can only be described as geometric patterns and shapes that I could not have ever imagined. I felt like NEO in the Matrix. And then, from nothing, came a door. This magnificent door.
Alas, my trip was almost over, and from this realm I faded back into reality. I remember feeling thankful that I was coming back, as I was scared that I was truly going crazy. I had never experienced any type of psychedelics before, so my mind was fairly spooked by such an occurrence. I quickly grasped my self image back and waited for all the effects to subside. I was deep in fear, to say the least. But, something was different, I had seen things that could not be forgotten. Was this real, or was this purely my sub conscious.
A few days had passed, and I struggled to retain the information I had learned on my journey. I contemplated the fact that it was a drug, and tried to logically decipher my experience. But, it can not be logically rationalized, it is was beyond my understanding. I decided to study more about this drug and its effects before I would dare to go back. Needless to say, after much discussion, thought and understanding I decided to try once more. I would have never imagined what was in store for my next visit. In fact, no matter what I write, draw or explain it will never even begin to come close to the things I would experience in my next adventure.
So, I sat there on my couch with a faint sound of meditation style music in the background. A friend on the other couch there to share the experience with me. I loaded the pipe, took a hit and passed the pipe as to not drop it. I held the hit in, laid back and almost instantly began to fade into this new dimension. At first, I was afraid. I could feel the coldness rising up my body, my vision began to become obscured and then a single white flash took me out of my physical body and jolted my consciousness into my soul.
Fractal patterns began to form the texture of all things around me. The wall in front of me was no longer a wall, but a pathway. The couch was no longer a couch, but the holding seat of all eternity. All vision of reality was gone. This world was my new surrounding. Two ladies sat on either side of me. Two translucent, beautiful entities of unimaginable detail. In fact, they were far too complex for me to even understand. And then, it was as if it always was, I could see and feel the love of every consciousness surrounding me, taking form in a human like entity. But not just one, there were many. I believe they came through the portal, possibly for me, possibly to show me something, from what I can recall, they showed me the underlying truth to the universe itself. They had blessed me with the answers every civilization has ever pondered. All in the flash of a single, fractal pattern. And that pattern, at its very heart, was the most bizarre outlandish looking shape that I struggle to piece back together in my memory of it all.
This might sound wonky, and might not make much sense. But, at the center, the closest thing I could relate this design to would be 69. A yin-yang style design. Like hooks, repeating. And then it made sense, what I was being told is that existence itself is infinite, forever, without beginning and without end. The meaning of life is meaningless, is has no point nor does it not have a point. It is, just to be, and will forever be. At least, this is only a small fraction of all the thoughts that flew through my mind at the time. Like I mentioned it is relatively impossible to explain, even impossible for me to re-imagine. It was, more than the mind can fathom. Re-reading this, it just sounds crazy and far fetched. I can not put it into words that do it justice.
Well, I slowly came back, with a single vision of this pattern, which over time has now become diluted. But the one thing which truly made the biggest difference to me is that there is no need to worry about death, as you will never truly die, in fact, your consciousness will never cease to exist. The only thing you will ever lose is your "self" or your "ego". Your soul, or whatever it may be, is infinite in scope.
So, there is my experience. I look forward to reading others here on the boards. This is truly a miracle, not a drug. It's something I believe every human should try at least once, we all have the right to experience the true depths of human consciousness. I hope to talk and share these experiences with all of you. Thanks for reading.
I never thought I would be at this point, at this place, here and now. It's actually quite amazing, in fact there is no such word to describe it. Before my awakening I was soulless, without understanding, without belief. It was something beyond my realm of logic, something I merely swept under the rug, acting as if it did not exist, denying it entirely. How feeble minded I was, in retrospect my understanding of reality was simply that of a child's -- unaware.
Before my experience, I was, I guess you could say, Aehtiest. I wished to believe, but I couldn't. My logical nature would not let me truly have faith in something so super natural. It was a great romantic fairy tale, but it was only that, a story. A truth, possibly, but the bleak reality for me was we live and we die and that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. One shot, so make it count. But now, after visiting such a place, such a reality, it seems more true and more realistic than anything one could possibly experience in this reality.
I will try and keep this short, so bare with me. My first experience was rather frightening. I could only compare it to how death must feel. It was as if I was truly dying, I remember saying to myself "You've done it now, you fool" and with that I let go. All sound ceased to stop, all except for a harmonious, high pitched vibration which then began to consume my entire body. It was more than sound, more than a vibration, it was in fact the universe devouring my flesh and releasing my soul. I remember the feeling of my physical body crumbling like stone as the sound coursed through me like water. Just as I had become consumed by it, my environment shifted into what can only be described as geometric patterns and shapes that I could not have ever imagined. I felt like NEO in the Matrix. And then, from nothing, came a door. This magnificent door.
Alas, my trip was almost over, and from this realm I faded back into reality. I remember feeling thankful that I was coming back, as I was scared that I was truly going crazy. I had never experienced any type of psychedelics before, so my mind was fairly spooked by such an occurrence. I quickly grasped my self image back and waited for all the effects to subside. I was deep in fear, to say the least. But, something was different, I had seen things that could not be forgotten. Was this real, or was this purely my sub conscious.
A few days had passed, and I struggled to retain the information I had learned on my journey. I contemplated the fact that it was a drug, and tried to logically decipher my experience. But, it can not be logically rationalized, it is was beyond my understanding. I decided to study more about this drug and its effects before I would dare to go back. Needless to say, after much discussion, thought and understanding I decided to try once more. I would have never imagined what was in store for my next visit. In fact, no matter what I write, draw or explain it will never even begin to come close to the things I would experience in my next adventure.
So, I sat there on my couch with a faint sound of meditation style music in the background. A friend on the other couch there to share the experience with me. I loaded the pipe, took a hit and passed the pipe as to not drop it. I held the hit in, laid back and almost instantly began to fade into this new dimension. At first, I was afraid. I could feel the coldness rising up my body, my vision began to become obscured and then a single white flash took me out of my physical body and jolted my consciousness into my soul.
Fractal patterns began to form the texture of all things around me. The wall in front of me was no longer a wall, but a pathway. The couch was no longer a couch, but the holding seat of all eternity. All vision of reality was gone. This world was my new surrounding. Two ladies sat on either side of me. Two translucent, beautiful entities of unimaginable detail. In fact, they were far too complex for me to even understand. And then, it was as if it always was, I could see and feel the love of every consciousness surrounding me, taking form in a human like entity. But not just one, there were many. I believe they came through the portal, possibly for me, possibly to show me something, from what I can recall, they showed me the underlying truth to the universe itself. They had blessed me with the answers every civilization has ever pondered. All in the flash of a single, fractal pattern. And that pattern, at its very heart, was the most bizarre outlandish looking shape that I struggle to piece back together in my memory of it all.
This might sound wonky, and might not make much sense. But, at the center, the closest thing I could relate this design to would be 69. A yin-yang style design. Like hooks, repeating. And then it made sense, what I was being told is that existence itself is infinite, forever, without beginning and without end. The meaning of life is meaningless, is has no point nor does it not have a point. It is, just to be, and will forever be. At least, this is only a small fraction of all the thoughts that flew through my mind at the time. Like I mentioned it is relatively impossible to explain, even impossible for me to re-imagine. It was, more than the mind can fathom. Re-reading this, it just sounds crazy and far fetched. I can not put it into words that do it justice.
Well, I slowly came back, with a single vision of this pattern, which over time has now become diluted. But the one thing which truly made the biggest difference to me is that there is no need to worry about death, as you will never truly die, in fact, your consciousness will never cease to exist. The only thing you will ever lose is your "self" or your "ego". Your soul, or whatever it may be, is infinite in scope.
So, there is my experience. I look forward to reading others here on the boards. This is truly a miracle, not a drug. It's something I believe every human should try at least once, we all have the right to experience the true depths of human consciousness. I hope to talk and share these experiences with all of you. Thanks for reading.
