This took place about this time last year in the rugged Sawtooth Mountains in central Idaho (the pic [bottom] is only a couple miles away from where this took place). I was on a solo-backpacking trip (my first one!) and it was my third day up there that this took place. I must say this is a very synergistic combo. Mushrooms act as a springboard into the DMT realm. Although I didn't do this during this trip, the DMT is best used both before the mushrooms are taken and then right after the peak. Smoking it prior to the mushroom trip really gets you primed for smooth sailing into the fungus realm. Right at the peak is amazingly beautiful and the DMT peak lasts a lot longer. This trip was fueled by 9g cubes with a whole 1/3g insnuffulated DMT at the peak. Snorting it works great if you have clean Spice - it doesn't immediately blast you into infinity the same way smoking it does and it lasts for about a half hour, or more when used in conjunction with mushrooms. I started off in the morning hiking and took the mushrooms. For some dumb reason I'd taken a few hydrocodone the night before but they'd left me feeling like washed-up crapola. I felt a little better in the morning but was still not in the best headspace for tripping (plus I'd recently ended a relationship which still had me aching). I started off taking about 6g (all powdered) but I figured there was no better time to go far out, and took the rest. About 15 minutes later I wasn't feeling so hot. I was nauseas and overwhelmed. My hiking abilities steadily deteriorated until I was kind of staggering around. My thoughts were all over the place and I was starting to get The Confusion. I came upon what is still probably the most beautiful, pristine mountain lake I've ever seen, and threw my pack down. I wasn't enjoying the trip at all. It was a relentless asskicking on the mushroom’s part. I knew better than to get freaked out, so I was just riding it out, hoping I'd come down soon, but it felt like it was taking forever, of course. I hadn't planned (consciously) on using the DMT, but I knew it would end the trip sooner and maybe even on a good note. At the time I'd grown away from smoking it and decided to stuff it up my schnoz. I took all the effort I could muster to dig it out of my pack and rack it into two huge lines (as I write this, I'm having a sort of flashback of the scene). I dumped out a shitload. It was at least 1/3g and maybe more. At that point I didn't know what my intention was. It was far more than I would need to simply hasten the trip, but since I was already so far out, why not just push the envelope beyond anything I'd ever heard of regarding mushrooms and DMT? Maybe that's what I was thinking. Maybe I just didn't care. It's hard to say. So there were the lines and there was I. I can still feel the burn as I snorted those rat tails. It was a lot of anything to be putting up one's nose. With that done I went and sat by the edge of the lake. But not before that eerie shift in my awareness happened. It happened the last time I'd taken insnuffulated DMT and mushrooms as well. My two friends who were with me that time, and not taking DMT, also felt it quite prominently, they assured me. Right after snorting the line it was as if some trigger had been set off. Like my CNS knew what was about to happen and started some process to ready itself. People who've taken crystal-LSD thumbprints (thousands of hits at once) remark of a similar phenomenon. Now sitting by the lake, a pronounced familiarity, a deja-vu of sorts, started to overtake me. Light patterns began to appear over everything, slowly at first. They grew in complexity, and soon the whole of reality around me had disintegrated into eyes, faces, jewels, diamonds, and all sorts of absurd, complex, amazing, rotating, unraveling geometry. Beauty beyond anything I'd ever seen. No; beauty I [i:b138f3c0c6]had[/i:b138f3c0c6] seen, only forgotten. What was happening to me wasn't anything new, I soon realized. It was utterly familiar. I had only forgotten about it. It was God, and it had been happening my entire life! A mounting intensity accompanied all of this. As reality unraveled more and more, the intensity kept building and building. I started to feel like I was going out of control, which I had also experienced before. I got up and started walking towards this hill...every moment was exponentially more intense than the last. Very suddenly I realized that there was just no way I could take it anymore. I, or what I had thought was me - my ego - was not at the reigns anymore. Suddenly I KNEW I was going to die and there was nothing I could do about it. My ego was shattered to oblivion and I shouldn't even use the term "I" here because there was no 'me' in any conventional sense...but there's really no other way to word it. I felt myself coming loose from my body, almost as if straps were being undone. An incredible feeling of weightlessness overcame me and suddenly I was looking at my body from the front, the back, the top, and the sides all at the same time. I was no longer where I had been. Compared to the mountains, trees, and lake I was 'just' at, I didn't recognize any of those things as trees, mountains, lakes, etc. It was all blended into homogeneous faces, eyes, patterns, and things beyond description - God. Wherever I 'was' made an utter mockery of time...the whole thing was a period of eternity and none of the events I'm talking about occurred in any sort of linear fashion. I became VERY aware or my entire life; particularly of every instance in which I'd previously wished to be dead. I've been inclined towards suicide for a sizeable portion of my life and there was a lesson in store for me about this. I can now understand what is meant by one's 'entire life flashing before their eyes'. I was being shown something major, something that few people will ever believe but something that nonetheless was utterly life-changing for me. Firstly that there is no death. I was free of my body and could fly by my thoughts. I was everywhere and everything yet retained my own perspective on it all. There was a sense of liberation, freedom, joy, and love that simply cannot be imagined or fathomed by the normal imagination, and for good reason. All my questions were answered during this. It wasn't like I was asking questions and having them answered, I just suddenly understood everything I had wanted to know! I saw how all of life is simple cycles and exchange of energy; how it is an evolving and unfolding plan – that life is striving for something and that our egos keep us blind to this. I came to understand that I have nothing to lose by living however I want and doing whatever I want, that nothing matters; life with a body is a chance to do what you wish to do. [b:b138f3c0c6]And that it is a choice we make.[/b:b138f3c0c6] I could still think when I was in this state but I couldn't [i:b138f3c0c6]do[/i:b138f3c0c6] anything. I just...was! It’s quite frightening to be looking at your body head on and not being able to do anything with it, let me assure you! I instantly knew that I was NOT ready to die yet...it was definitely not my time, though I'm absolutely positive I could have stayed 'dead' if I'd wanted to, and that I could at any time spontaneously cause myself to die...if I know I can, it will happen. I was shown or told or came to understand a great deal of things about my personal life and what I had intended to do with it. And that was enough for me. I recall thinking "FUCK THIS I'VE SEEN ENOUGH I WANT TO FUCKING LIVE!" I was terrified that maybe I wouldn’t be allowed to live again. But I realized, later, that it was me who was making the choice. There was no separation between me and God. I was God. [i:b138f3c0c6]The soul is God[/i:b138f3c0c6]; there is no God separate from us but in awareness…I hate to cliché but in a literal sense we are One. Like clockwork I started to become aware of my body again, I started to come down. I was fucking terrified yet EXTREMELY happy to be back. I was still VERY confused though...for about 15 minutes I didn't even know if I actually was alive again...I kept telling myself that nobody had ever died from mushrooms or DMT but I wasn't so sure that was true anymore. I had absolutely no idea what time of day it was, or even WHAT day it was. I didn't know if I'd come back to the same reality, if I was the same person...it was very disorienting. All of reality, ego, and time had been shattered, and I was like a newborn trying to piece myself back together, alone in the wilderness. If I’d have been with a friend to tell me I was alright, it would have been much more smooth at this point…I really needed something to ground me. I didn't know what the fuck was what for a while and sat down next to some dead wood in primal, thoughtless awe and bewilderment. I had a CLEAN slate and was free of all the negativity that plagued me. It was all quite healing. I had a series of beautiful epiphanies and insight into life and existence. My fear of death was permanently squashed and I couldn't ever feel bad for anyone who dies if I tried. Anyone could come shoot me dead and I could love them for it having seen what death is all about. I now understand why “Loving your enemies” is the Way to peace and God and all that other stuff that Hayzus supposedly said. Even though I have a strong aversion to religion, some of the core messages defiantly resonate with me now – and it seems like most religious people just don’t get it at all. DMT causes you to come down from your trip much faster than usual...either that or mushrooms alone just seem so pale in comparison to the combo afterwards that you don't even regard it as tripping. I had visuals for the rest of the day...any time I would focus on clouds or mountains they fractalize into awesome colorful patters or do the diamond/jewel dance thing....it was a very enjoyable afternoon, and not one that I’ll forget anytime soon! I don't expect anyone to believe this. I had no idea it was even possible to do this to one's self and I absolutely do not recommend it to all but the most savage tripper or person who suffers from severe depression or someone absolutely has to Know for themselves. You’ve got to be strong minded to keep your sanity after something like this! These experiences have motivated me to live for myself, to really get the most I can out of my experience this go-around, and to listen to my heart, because it knows what I seek better than my ego does. What I have since come to understand, is that what we are seeking is reunion with God while in the body. God is what we are seeking because God is everything. While our egos seek houses, careers, cars, relationships, etc, our heart seeks to bring us to the state of being that DMT takes us to, IMO. I have little doubt that we are ALL sleeping Gods. I have seen what it truly possible. Either that or I’m a total nutcase! Fear not friends, death is quite awesome, and the most skeptical among you are in for quite a surprise. BTW, if you have read “Conversations with God”, this will probably ring a bell for you. You may even think that I copied the ideas or something! Alas, this experience happened to me several months before I came across those books, in a strangely synchronistic fashion, and I was amazed at how similar the insights I’d gained from my own experience were to how the same things are described in those books. I really recommend reading them if you are interested in this sort of stuff! (Just try not to judge by the title or the enterprise the author has turned them into!) Pics of area only a few miles away (I didn't take these) - [img:b138f3c0c6]http://www.summitpost.org/images/medium/265423.JPG[/img:b138f3c0c6] [img:b138f3c0c6]http://www.forwolves.org/ralph/wpages/graphics/sawtoothlake1.jpg[/img:b138f3c0c6]
