This is not a trip report, just want to summarize my psychedelic expereinces and ask if I'm doing something wrong. Overall I had 5 psilocybin trips in relatively short timespan (like 3 months). And either life changing properties of psychedelics are over exaggerated, or I'm doing something wrong, or changes happened but I didn't notice them? Tbh, some of my trips were just a mess, everything patterning, too hard to think, strange feelings and I'm coming down already. But I also had really deep insightful trips I don't know what to do with. I remember having ego death totally not associating myself with my personality seeing life as a joke, but tbh it was something what I kinda knew already but never saw with my own eyes. And returning to "normal" state was disgustingly easy. I repeat - at least for me (but probably for biggest part of healthy people) it's just disgustingly easy to ground and back to regular yourself. Even though I truly want to keep at least a glimpse of it.
But overall, I just don't know where integrate it. Like uhm... Now I know or understand better something that I didn't, that yada-yada-yada nothing is important blah-blah-blah everything is connected and so on. This is so specific, so unusual for sober life that only thing I can do is to hold this knowledge in my memory and keep living as usual. How to integrate experiences if most of what I got only makes sense when my brain chemistry is altered and the rest is so obvious I don't need psychedelics to realise it? And probably the most unpleasant question: aren't psychedlics not as life changing like some people describe them?
But overall, I just don't know where integrate it. Like uhm... Now I know or understand better something that I didn't, that yada-yada-yada nothing is important blah-blah-blah everything is connected and so on. This is so specific, so unusual for sober life that only thing I can do is to hold this knowledge in my memory and keep living as usual. How to integrate experiences if most of what I got only makes sense when my brain chemistry is altered and the rest is so obvious I don't need psychedelics to realise it? And probably the most unpleasant question: aren't psychedlics not as life changing like some people describe them?