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Integration and interpretation

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halten

halten

Rising Star
Hello everyone!

About a year, or maybe even a year and a half ago, I drank ayahuasca for the first time. Of one of the few messages I receieved, one was very clear. I was sitting outside in my backyard, looking at the moon and trying to see what few stars I can see in the city, and I was told "You are alone." To be completely honest, this did and still does seem like an ominous message, and at the time tears came to my eyes with the force of it.

Ever since then, I've been thinking about that message. What does it mean? I've thought that the current path I've chosen may cause me to be alone, like a warning. Or perhaps its in my way of thinking and viewing the world. Or maybe it was simply because I drank alone and I should do it in a group setting.

Either way, it's been hard integrating this message. The rest of the night was fine, with faint visions a somewhat peaceful state. I know that since none of you actually know me, it's hard to ask for help with interpreting it. What I'm wondering is if anyone can shed any insight on how I can fully integrate a message like this. I have become a much more spiritual person since then, and have tried to quiet my mind and find answers, but alas, it's a long journey.

Thank you for any input!
 
Hello there!

I had your post open for awhile, thinking of what to write back. Something in what you wrote struck a chord in me. Perhaps maybe I might be able to guide you; a few ideas came to mind.

Do you live alone? Perhaps, Aya was suggesting a companion in life or in the ceremony may be more beneficial in the future. I believe like the duality ever present in the Universe, all people exist to find/exist with, their coexisting partner/opposite, yet equal/mate etc. It comes in many forms. Do you have someone like this in your life?

Or perhaps you were experiencing The Void. The sense of Tao spoken in the East. The 1/infinity = 0, the Void. The idea the you are alone, yet you are never alone.

Sometimes The Void feels lonely without Love. And while you may not be in this much pain; I've learned If you Love your Hell, it will become your Heaven.

Maybe some of this will help.

peace and love.
 
maybe "you have achieved self reliance" tho without knowing you I'd lean towards it being a mental reverb of journeying alone.

regardless of meaning take it as it is if you take it at all and decide what comes next: so you are alone, is this something you enjoy and wish to continue for the time being or do you want to take the steps toward changing this?
 
Maybe you're not supposed to understand it yet. Sometimes I get 'messages', or just strong instinctual feelings, that I don't fully understand, but they still tend to influence my actions in the future, and usually I eventually find myself someday in the future, having that "eureka!" moment, when I suddenly realize what it meant. Sometimes it takes me months, or even years, to fully integrate.
 
At the time I was alone, I lived with roommates but I did not have a significant other. However, this is not the case anymore.

I really appreciate the replies everyone! I came to ayahuasca seeking help for my troubled mind, and I feel over time things have changed. I definitely walk a lonely path, as not many people I meet are interested in the expansion of consciousness and animist/spiritist thoughts I have with great conviction.

What have you done to integrate a fuzzy message?

I've also never heard of the Void in this sense. Perhaps it's a human condition where we can't help but feel alone...
 
Imagine there is only one consciousness - God.
Said God was bored to hell, so he created the world within himself, known as universe.
He inhabited this world with intelligent life forms - self induced dissoziation.
God knows that he is the only lifeform. But he tricks himself into thinking that he has compagnions. You.

Then, one day god was depressed. He could not stand his own lie anymore. So he gave you ayahuasca to drink and told you:

"You are alone"

While lifting the veil for one tiny moment of truth.
 
Hello halten,

the message you received is deep. Really deep. And it goes well beyond your physical realities and constraints. I received it also (not with Ayahuasca, though) and it changed my life. Read obliguhl post attentively. He in fact also "lifted the veil for one tiny moment of truth"!
 
Hey man,

I wouldn't say that I know anyone personally that is truly an experienced person in the realm of this stuff but I think I have an answer for you or at least to the point of what I believe is true. My friend for his birthday had some tea last weekend and he gave me a call a few days ago that described much of what you were talking about. In his experience he came to the same conclusion but rather than taking it on a bad note he felt great. He said it was great because he could stop trying to find a answer to it all, trying to figure out what religion was correct and if he was wrong the whole time about his views into things. He said that he felt that he could focus and love himself and those around him more because we are all we got at least in divine ways. I dont want to trash anyone's beliefs or anything but its just what he said and he was happy to have learned about. He said he experienced every type of death he could possibly think of during his experience and it all lead back to the same conclusion, that they were all made up experiences in his head from cultural learned ideas. He said that the only real truth that he could find is that he should take much more care of himself and others. I would say stop treating aya as a way to travel looking for other things outside of our realm that may or may not exist, and more use it as a way to communicate with yourself.
 
obliguhl said:
Imagine there is only one consciousness - God.
Said God was bored to hell, so he created the world within himself, known as universe.
He inhabited this world with intelligent life forms - self induced dissoziation.
God knows that he is the only lifeform. But he tricks himself into thinking that he has compagnions. You.

Then, one day god was depressed. He could not stand his own lie anymore. So he gave you ayahuasca to drink and told you:

"You are alone"

While lifting the veil for one tiny moment of truth.
Click to expand...

excellent post..gave me shivers reading it..
 
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