Intro, experience, trying to let go

[Generator]

Hi, I’m new here. I’m a middle aged guy. Zero experience with any other substances. I just started down this path about a month ago and need to share. I’d like to say that I have the utmost respect for this stuff and I’ve seen enough to begin comprehending just how powerful it can be. It’s hard to state why I was drawn to this. Maybe I’m trying to find out who I am, what is consciousness, what is the nature of reality. You know, the easy questions.

This is what I’ve imagined happened to me over the first month or so.

Tried gvg, copper mesh, with 25mg spice and got too much heat. Hurt throat so it was hard to swallow for a couple of minutes. Used regular lighter - torch lighter is on order. Maybe just breathed in too hard, too fast. Effects were medium and pretty short lived. 5 minutes or so. Patterns were observed with eyes closed.

At this time Pharmahuasca has a greater appeal to me. I’ve found my light dose and my intense dose and I haven’t done much in the middle. Learning much from light dose, need to talk about intense dose.

Had 2 intense experiences so far, and each time I could not let go. When it hits, my heart races like mad. With eyes open, things morph, my hands can just disappear into the the blanket, bright colors and fractals are glowing all over the place. There is fear of looking in certain directions for what I might see. Physically, I feel some panic, my mouth gets super dry, parts of my body vibrate. I get about 20 minutes of this intensity level and it hits in waves. I tell my wife it’s like I’m on a class 6 rapids headed towards the falls and I’m just too scared. When I close my eyes I see crazy patterns, I feel parts of my body disappear, I can no longer feel myself breathing, I start leaving and that scares the crap out of me. I want to leave, I want to let go, but on two attempts I just open my eyes and hang on for dear life until the intensity passes. Once I’m in control of my body again I relax and enjoy the rest of the trip. During these trips my wife is with me and that helped immensely. I didn’t feel any of this was negative, just really scary.

Does it get any easier to let go, any tips, can anybody relate?

thanks.

 

[Super Radical]

There just has to be a point when you stop resisting what's happening to you and you just start watching it. Try clearing your mind as best as you can, meditation helps with this practice. Stop trying to understand each feeling you get, and just feel them.

 

[Electric Kool-Aid]

There will be others here to guide you shortly. Might even get some stories of how they dealt with their own feelings of fear and how they overcome it.
The best thing I would say to do. Look in the wiki and read up on set and settings. There is also a safety guide and pointers on what to do when you feel scared or need help. This website is a community of people who are like you and me, who joined together and wrote what they have learned, in hopes to help others who need guidance in this powerful psychedelic molecule. So take a look around and try to learn all you can.

Plus people here praise the gvg as the holy grail of smoking methods. So mastering its capabilities will help you beyond human existance! Lots of info on the gvg in the wiki too. If you don't see it, then ask for help. Some have said, hold the lighter flame 2 cm from the bowl. Also use a metal mesh ball (not screen) with dmt melted lightly over it, then to gvg top filter over. Then light the lighter about 3cm over and come down to 2cm drawing in, you will see smoke. Keep drawing in until you can't anymore. Hold for 10 seconds then exhale and repeate if needed. You want to try to clear the bowl if there is more spice. Hint: master it with small micro doses, to get the method down. The smoke should never be harsh if done right. When you have the micro doses correctly done, then increase the dose. Some go to 24mg - some start lower and work their way up.

Good luck!

 

[Dethrone]

Keep your eyes closed and just watch what happens,but really stay committed to keeping your eyes closed at least until the first initial stages are over.I used to fight like you and it just made things awful,just trust and give in it is so much easier.Now I just sit smoke close my eyes and its nearly instant breakthroughs,you just have to be accepting of it.

 

[3rdeyeopen]

My bf has a hard time letting go as well. He has dosed many times and finds himself holding on each time. He is worried of what people think of him if anyone is present, yet still cannot let go when he is alone.

I just dosed for my first time last night and had an amazing experience. I felt no fear, and nothing keeping me grounded here. I told my bf to maybe try meditating first to clear his mind. Also try incense. I also had a fan going in the background or "white noise". Ultimately, I think it is all about clearing your mind.

Much luck and I sincerely hope it works out for you

 

[Generator]

Thanks for the encouragement.

Next time things get intense I will try to relax and keep my eyes closed. I'm very analytical so it's hard to just watch and observe. That's part of what I've been learning. I'm also very worried about what people think of me so that probably comes into it as well. Wow, as I'm writing this I can see so many things I need to work on.

I’ve been reading some positive trip reports which is very encouraging. I’m going to look at the wiki more and keep reading. The fact that these experiences can be challenging is probably a part of what makes them valuable. That’s how I’m trying to look at it. At least I was able to quickly get a strong effect with an oral dose. I went right from oh cool to oh crap. I haven't had anything strong with gvg yet so it will be interesting to see how I cope with that.

I’ve been motivated to get into better shape and I’m going to try meditating more as was suggested. Beer never motivated me to to get into shape! That’s pretty cool if you ask me.

I did read about the gvg before trying it. One thing I don’t recall finding was how to practice with it. I really like the idea of micro doses to get the hang of it. Once my torch lighter shows up I will have to try that. Even if you are well read, the very first time you see vapors it’s oh so easy to just throw everything you’ve read right out the window.

 

[Silly(c)One]

I would try to stop thinking and analyzing too much... DMT is an experience, not a thought process.
The more I read about DMT experiences, the more scared I was, and I realized it was pretty useless anyways : you're going to experience what YOU are meant to experience, and that is completely different from one person to the other. It's only after quite a few trips that I started to recognize some of the things McKenna said about DMT, and relate to some of the experience reports either on the net or in documentaries like DMT The Spirit Molecule.

As an avid Dune fan, I dug this out. It's the litany against fear, from the Bene Gesserit Order.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Starting with smaller doses helped me A LOT to get comfortable with the spice.
They allowed me to have gentler hallucinations, and learn the physical effects of the DMT onset so that I wouldn't fear them.
The DMT entities just showed me IT IS OK, and I built up the doses in time.
But I don't always go for full break through doses, it is also OK to experiment DMT on lower doses.
There's no law or reason to stop you with testing anything you're comfortable with.
It's even OK to think about something else for a few days/weeks and integrate what you went through on your own terms.

As far as doing it alone or accompanied, I think it's ok to do it with someone else for the first few times, but in the end, it's you against yourself, and the "problem" with DMT is it gives you a full psychedelic experience with your ego intact.
I believe the only way to allow yourself to fully embrace the experience is to tackle it alone.
That way you don't have a place in your mind busy thinking about what others think about you, cutting you from your own experience. Been there. Trust me, it's MUCH better when you're alone !

It also helped me to stop planning my DMT trips. I only trip when I feel the calling, if I program anything, I'll build up anxiety and will chicken out, because my mind has time to think, think, think, find excuses and the like.

In the end, everything's gonna be alright. If it's not alright, it's not the end

 

[anrchy]

A few things I want to touch on. You said that you have no experience with other drugs. Do you mean everything? Pot shrooms LSD? What about alcohol? Have you never done any of these at all or how much of which ones exactly?

You also said that leaving your body and the intensity scare the crap out of you. That once you Hve control of your body you are fine. Seems like you need more experience with other things. Shrooms pot LSD all kind of take control of parts of your body and DMT does this more strongly than they do. I would say experiment with some low doses of shrooms and get stoned a few times to get used to low grade sensations before you try an conquer DMT. Although DMT can't hurt you (supposedly) it will be more difficult if your having such terrifying feelings just from the high aspect of it.

It's common to have anxiety from the beginning onset rush. But it spuds like the entire peak you are scared of. Which is the main part of te experience.

 

[Felnik]

It's hard to get used to at first . I feel you man .
Actually the more you go the more you learn how to deal with it.

I can recommend mullien as a carrier herb , it really cuts the harshness and is good for the lungs too. If you ever consider trying the gvg again .

Focus on your breathing when it gets intense .
And also try talking to yourself like a coach outloud . It helps me a lot during super intense moments when I ,m on the verge of panic .

All the best to you

 

[Generator]

Silly(c)One, good stuff, thanks, I agree with what you said.

anrchy, I drink alcohol sometimes but hardly at all, it never really agreed with me. I have done nothing else, nada. Yes, the peak on a higher oral dose is what scared me, lasted about 20 minutes, intensity went down and I was ok and enjoyed maybe another 40 minutes or so. I did that twice. The peak on the lower dose I did fine with. I think your advice to try some other things might be good but I'm just not at a good spot to do that right now. I'm going to stick with this one thing for a while. Having no other drug experiences, it's not surprising I got scared but that's ok.

Felnik, I've read mullien a few times, I might try that at some point. thanks for that and your other advice.

Overall, for just getting started, being a total newbie, I think I'm doing ok. I do need to learn to let go instead of fighting it, to just enjoy whatever experience I have. That will come with time and talking about it helps a lot. As mentioned, working with lower doses, getting used to the sensations, easing into it, that will probably help me the most. I tested my edge pretty quickly and I wasn't ready for it. I don't regret giving it a shot. I will keep trying but slower. At least I know where my edge is for now, and I'm sure it will keep moving and challenging me.