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Intro (In Which I Make Use of Cliche Island and Water Metaphors)

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Beelzebozo

Rising Star
Hello one and all!

Introductions can be a generic affair; boring, empty, superficial. I'm going to try my best to avoid that, because a forum like this deserves nothing less!

First off, I have not taken DMT, and neither do I have plans to take it in the near future. What then, you might ask, am I doing here? Well, it comes down to a certain quality that arises out of singular experiences like those produced by DMT. The way I see it, other psychedelic substances leave room for the user to ignore the proverbial deep-end of the experiential pond and wade around in the reeds without ever venturing further out.

I've met plenty of people who eat mushrooms but still don't "get it." To them it's all pretty lights and goofy thoughts. Of course, there's nothing wrong with laughing until your jaw cracks, but when that's as deep as you go you're making a mountain into a molehill! These are tools that should be used to challenge the psyche, change the experiencer, and dive down to the silty waters where all boundaries dissolve.

DMT, of all the psychedelics, seems to excel at forcing people to do just that.

Once upon a time, I took a shot of shredded mushrooms in a glass of straight lemon extract. In my life, up until that point, time had proceeded linearly. Action followed action, cause and effect, in an ever-increasing chain of events I called my life. That is, until that night.

I went in with mixed intentions, half-conscious. On the one hand, I was looking for something spectacular to take me out of my dreary life, and, on the other hand, I was also just looking to have a good time.

So, when the chain broke and I suddenly found myself occupying multiple points of time and space at once, I panicked. No one told me this could happen! I tried to fight it, but I was totally overpowered. My psyche sank deeper and deeper, down from the island of the ego into the deep oceanic trench for which there are no words. From below the surface, I became aware of all the other islands, collective humanity, and I could see the illusory nature of their apparent individuality. Under the water, all the islands ran together into the same ocean floor.

In my infinitely expanding awareness, I was every individual that had or would ever exist. Among these individuals existed a special breed, the psychonauts, the leading edge of experience, the divers who traversed the depths to bring novelty back into the collective consciousness. Most special of all, of course, were the DMT users, of this I was keenly aware.

And it's true. Here at this forum, there's an attitude, a spectacular combination of genuine empathy and gymnastic intellectualism, that is very rare to find. That's why I'm drawn here! Will I ever take DMT? I don't know. I certainly don't rule it out! That night, three years ago, I swore shrooms off forever, but life is a curious thing, and here I am, roaming the woods and enjoying that peculiar nutty taste and spongy texture once again.

Well, there's my introduction! I could have rattled off superfluous facts like that I'm 21-going-on-22, living in the U.S., finishing up undergrad school with two majors and a minor, planning on going to graduate school for Native American Studies, and fighting daily to reclaim my mind from the socially-conditioned malaise that pervades it, but what does any of that really tell you about anything?

The most important thing you can know about me, maybe the only important thing, is that, beneath my anxious, quiet exterior, I have a genuine will to change and explore. I think that's the most important quality any human being can have.

Peace, Love, etc.,
Beelzebozo
(Beelzebub + Bozo the clown, it's a Bill Hicks reference)
 
Beelzebozo said:
From below the surface, I became aware of all the other islands, collective humanity, and I could see the illusory nature of their apparent individuality. Under the water, all the islands ran together into the same ocean floor.

In my infinitely expanding awareness, I was every individual that had or would ever exist. Among these individuals existed a special breed, the psychonauts, the leading edge of experience, the divers who traversed the depths to bring novelty back into the collective consciousness. Most special of all, of course, were the DMT users, of this I was keenly aware.

If you were me, then... What was I wearing the night of 15th january 2002 ?





JK :D

Welcome to the Nexus!

I like your intro essay. I think there is no rush to take DMT, if you do take it eventually im sure you'll do it carefully.

I dont know you and many things can happen but I suspect you'll end up partaking this experience, I think you'll have a hard time not being fascinated by all the mistery and beauty surrounding DMT and that inner itch might get stronger :D

Is there any part of the forum you are most interested in? Have you partaken in any psychedelic/psychoactive experience since that mushroom trip? Plans to?
 
cellux said:
Beelzebozo said:
That night, three years ago, I swore shrooms off forever

May I ask, why?

I took part in things that night I was not prepared to experience. To say it was a shock to my system would be an understatement along the lines of calling a hurricane-force gale a "slight wind." For about half-a-year afterwards I was in complete psychological turmoil, hardly a moment went by that I wasn't thinking about what I experienced. If you think of Plato's "cave allegory," I was the guy who was looking at shadows his entire life, thinking that was all there was. Mushrooms wrenched my eyes away from the shadows to the dazzling, fiery source.

It was a hellish test of my psychological balance, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I confronted things I'd been hiding from myself for years, fears of mortality, insecurities, self-delusion. That's why these things are such invaluable tools! They'll heal you in ways you didn't even know you needed to be healed.

I like your intro essay. I think there is no rush to take DMT, if you do take it eventually im sure you'll do it carefully.

I dont know you and many things can happen but I suspect you'll end up partaking this experience, I think you'll have a hard time not being fascinated by all the mistery and beauty surrounding DMT and that inner itch might get stronger Very happy

Is there any part of the forum you are most interested in? Have you partaken in any psychedelic/psychoactive experience since that mushroom trip? Plans to?

Thanks for the welcome!

I'm in no hurry to try DMT. I have a feeling it will find me, if the time is right!

I'm interested in the experience reports, but also in the subforums devoted to other substances, such as Salvia.

As for my psychedelic resume. . .

I've taken mushrooms again just recently (for the first time since the night I reference in my intro post, which was over three years ago) and plan to take them again soon at a higher dose. I've taken Salvia many times, and happen to be one of the biggest soft-heads I know. It's usually ego-loss or nothing at all with me.

The rest of the substances I've since taken include:
LSA (Turbina corymbosa is my favorite, I've taken that many times)
Cannabis (but I've abstained for several months now to maintain the clarity of my psychedelic experiences)
Tropanes (smoked only, but we'll pass over this one in silence, it was a bad habit)
Kratom (another substance I've given up, the body-load is too much)
Amanitas (hit or miss)
 
One question for you Beelzebozo - are you also available for children's parties?

Sorry... couldn't resist after reading the Bill Hicks reference. I love how popular he seems to be on this site...

Much luck for you and your future endeavors!
 
Welcome to the Nexus! Sounds like you've got quite a bit of interesting studies going on. Do you focus on Native Americans from a particular region?
 
I like your style. Stick around and your curiosity may be quelled, but will more likely blossom. No need to rush, but i suspect if you wade these waters and peruse these annals long enough, you will naturally drift deeper.

Cheers,

JBArk
 
Thank you all for the warm welcome!

ragabr said:
Welcome to the Nexus! Sounds like you've got quite a bit of interesting studies going on. Do you focus on Native Americans from a particular region?

As an undergrad I don't focus on one particular group, but I have learned considerably more about the Haudenosaunee (the Six Nations of the Iroquois Confederacy) than any other, mostly because they live here and because my advisor is Mohawk himself. I'm sure I will narrow my studies a lot when I go to grad school, but I still don't have too much of an idea about who and what I will study in particular.
 
Beelzebozo said:
I took part in things that night I was not prepared to experience. To say it was a shock to my system would be an understatement along the lines of calling a hurricane-force gale a "slight wind." For about half-a-year afterwards I was in complete psychological turmoil, hardly a moment went by that I wasn't thinking about what I experienced. If you think of Plato's "cave allegory," I was the guy who was looking at shadows his entire life, thinking that was all there was. Mushrooms wrenched my eyes away from the shadows to the dazzling, fiery source.

It was a hellish test of my psychological balance, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I confronted things I'd been hiding from myself for years, fears of mortality, insecurities, self-delusion. That's why these things are such invaluable tools! They'll heal you in ways you didn't even know you needed to be healed.

Your path is very similar to mine. I had this experience on LSD, and on the way back - when my ego was slowly rebuilt - I became so frightened (spiritually) at the utter profundity of what I just experienced that I put into place all these blocks and hindrances on the way out which made it impossible for me to gain access to the spiritual worlds ever since. I have this feeling that one day, DMT will provide me with the key with which I can reopen the kingdom, but that will happen only when I grow up to the level where I am ready to face withinity again.
 
cellux said:
Your path is very similar to mine. I had this experience on LSD, and on the way back - when my ego was slowly rebuilt - I became so frightened (spiritually) at the utter profundity of what I just experienced that I put into place all these blocks and hindrances on the way out which made it impossible for me to gain access to the spiritual worlds ever since. I have this feeling that one day, DMT will provide me with the key with which I can reopen the kingdom, but that will happen only when I grow up to the level where I am ready to face withinity again.

It's a long, difficult path to approach these things again after you've had a bad reaction. If you told me two-and-a-half years ago that I'd be eating shrooms again in the future, I'd have pitched a fit. I like your term "withinity," I've never heard it before and it's very appropriate.

With the proper perspective, the importance of these experiences becomes apparent. Here we are, sandwiched between the gaping jaws of eternity, the space before our birth on one side, and the space after our death on the other. Something significant is going on here, whatever it might be, and to spend our time unaware of the context of our existence is frivolous to the extreme. Things like mushrooms and DMT let us experience eternity and return safely to the linearity of daily life, framing our lives and giving them real depth.

How can I act like a petty ass if I'm aware of the infinite hiding behind all things? (With great effort, that's how.:lol:)

If you only watched one scene from a movie, or only read one chapter from a book, what would your opinion of that content be? Wouldn't it then be immensely changed, for the better, with knowledge of the vast remainder?
 
Welcome Beelzebozo,

I look forward to reading allot more of you. Very entertaining indeed, I dont mean that in a negative way! Thanks for sharing and welcome to the Nexus.

ih
 
Ice House said:
Welcome Beelzebozo,

I look forward to reading allot more of you. Very entertaining indeed, I dont mean that in a negative way! Thanks for sharing and welcome to the Nexus.

ih

Thanks! I take that as a high compliment. :d

By the way, if you don't mind my asking. . . I've been lurking here for ages and your avatar has always stuck out to me. What kind of animal is that?? Everytime I see it it bugs the hell out of me trying to figure out what it is. :lol:
 
Beelzebozo said:
Ice House said:
Welcome Beelzebozo,

I look forward to reading allot more of you. Very entertaining indeed, I dont mean that in a negative way! Thanks for sharing and welcome to the Nexus.

ih

Thanks! I take that as a high compliment. :d

By the way, if you don't mind my asking. . . I've been lurking here for ages and your avatar has always stuck out to me. What kind of animal is that?? Everytime I see it it bugs the hell out of me trying to figure out what it is. :lol:

Foot in mouth - that's his mama, Beelzebozo!!






****jut kiddin' IH :d
 
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