A few years ago I started living with a girl I loved. I quit doing all drugs, quit smoking cigarettes, did very little drinking and began to seriously study different paths to realization. I was coming out of a time in my life when I was integrating a very powerful psychedelic experience and I was leaving behind a lot of bad mental and physical tendencies.

While falling asleep during this time, I would often feel dark powerful energies creeping across my body and I would have intense symbolic dreams that left me very confused. I would also occasionally feel vibrations originating in my lower back that, when focused on, would spread to my entire body and intensify exponentially. It would usually get so intense that I felt like I was moving at such incredible speed that i eventually passed out from the intensity.

During this time I decided to focus on the negative energy when it faced me. Maybe focus is the wrong word...I would hold my attention to it and not try to push it away. When i did this, the dread and massive expanse of this dark force became extremely intense. So threatening, hopeless, and sure, OK, evil. But now, instead of trying to wake myself up out of fear, I opened my heart to it with all the love I had and told it, "You are me", or something like that. Radical acceptance. Whatever would happen, possession, insanity, violence, sickness, death, whatever, I was going to accept it. My consciousness spread out into the dark abyss of death and dread and it/I changed, very subtly. The presence was still massive, infinite even. It was even still, very scary and incomprehensible and alive, but, it really was    just    me. And it was tender and loving, and I melted into it. And so I laughed and went to sleep and never had those experiences again.

So, buck up buddy. Possession is real, but its not what you think it is.

I wish you all the light and love there is.