100thApe
Rising Star
Hello everybody!
After reading a couple of very interesting (and in a way self-confirming) introduction essays (and a lot of threads throughout the forum last couple months) I already have an intriguing feeling of ingroupness. Thank you!
This Friday made me want to take the step from passive observer to active participant. If you wonder why, you are welcome to read these lines I've impulsively written down. If less interested in background and so on, just skip to the last part of the introduction.
..I will try not to get caught up in details though still giving you all an honest, shortened insight to the circumstances that brought me here:
Being the youngest of 5, I used to accumulate and integrate my brothers frameworks of reality, which gave rise to a comparison of reference points between my younger social frame and theirs. ..And therefore I acknowledged that reality is based on consensus, and that people were not really aware of how little they actually questioned the normative rules within each micro culture. Everybody played along, on what seemed to be, autopilot (and passively supporting injustice in the world) and I could choose which role i wanted to take on, so on and so forth. This was an early understanding in my life that led to a feeling of empowerment.. And lone existential anxiety.
I mention this because these reference points in my thinking gave me a strong inner motivation to explore consciousness, whilst still having a foot within the "fast-culture" (which is what I call the tendency to seek fast individual gratification at all times: having the right career, clothes, friends, hobbies etc).
My psychedelic experiences were mostly for the fun of it (stretching back 15 years), but I always had a sense that it was more to it.. Which I often disregarded as typical thoughts of a person whos just done too much psychedelics ;p ..the years past by and I was inspired by all of the thoughts these perspectives generated and so I began studying psychology at the university, where I now work. After a couple of years I wrote a thesis on how differences in the perception of temporal dimensions effects behavior (since I have hunches of reality being more like quantum physics, and only perceived as linear due to our cognitive limitations).
However, last year.. in November-December. I heard so many people talking about 20121221: in the "Hollywood way", and I was annoyed. So I did some research, and understood that the Mayan calendar allegedly predicts one lap around the bigger sun Sirius (please correct if wrong), without any ending of anything besides that specific cycle. This really got my attention, and I wanted to understand more. In my research Ive learned more about Ayahuasca, DMT, other things also such as the double slit experiment and cymatics (!).. I knew about DMT before, but did not give it attention. Until now.
..My gut feeling told me that if every possibility happens at once (as in quantum) - and if its only the limitations of our cognitive resources/the precise balance of information processing between brain structures that give the illusion of linear time and thus separation - then maybe (just maybe) could perception enhancing molecules allow the user to expand the awareness to different positions in space and time, with intention as a guide and oneness as results? But.. these where just speculations leading me closer to the thought of DMT.
The universe works in interesting ways, to say the least.
I have a friend, whom I've known since many years, and he has been extracting spice/changa and cooking aya/farmahuasca for a couple of years now. I did not know this until recently though. So.. in my urge to learn, I was told to call this old friend and talk more to him. And so I did. This was right before Christmas 2012, and our hours of discussion lead to him giving me a 1gr bag of changa (think he said it was the same combination as ayahuasca: mimosa hostilis+MAOI?, 333 DMT) to try out.
Well. Since that moment I have been back at his place 3 times for a 5gr bag each time. I've quit smoking cigarettes, I am eating healthier, feeling better, I try to give more positive energy to everyone I meet. Moreover I feel an urge and a responsibility to learn more and to bring this out to those who seek. ..To integrate it with science if possible and/or only with my own experience. ..and the list could be made long.
During the first month I had sessions smoking 2-4 times/week, and I THOUGHT that I had broken through a couple of times really. ..But after last Friday, I now know (but forgetting more and more as i write). I have only broken through once. And that was this last Friday. it was.. BIG. Scary in the moment, but overwhelmingly fantastic when i realized that I was actually coming back to my body. ..completely different from all the other times(with complete clarity). I know that this ...felt real. In a completely different league.. And that I must learn! slowly. And advance slowly (but i at least managed to stay panic free because i was able to hear my own controlled, aggressive breathing).
Because I know now a bit more what to expect, and the next time I will rely on me landing and thereby start to explore these realms more consciously.
Any thoughts from anyone would be greatly appreciated!!
So instead of relying on my friends cooking, I feel that this is a part of me that needs to be fully understood, appreciated and integrated in my life. I want to extract from plants with my intent, and I want to be part of this movement. I am thankful for any heads up for a beginner in the kitchen. ^^ (though i def will be asking along the way).
Mostly I look forward to the conversations!! (and have no rush with anything).
If youve read the whole thing I congratulate you and thank you for your effort.
After reading a couple of very interesting (and in a way self-confirming) introduction essays (and a lot of threads throughout the forum last couple months) I already have an intriguing feeling of ingroupness. Thank you!
This Friday made me want to take the step from passive observer to active participant. If you wonder why, you are welcome to read these lines I've impulsively written down. If less interested in background and so on, just skip to the last part of the introduction.
..I will try not to get caught up in details though still giving you all an honest, shortened insight to the circumstances that brought me here:Being the youngest of 5, I used to accumulate and integrate my brothers frameworks of reality, which gave rise to a comparison of reference points between my younger social frame and theirs. ..And therefore I acknowledged that reality is based on consensus, and that people were not really aware of how little they actually questioned the normative rules within each micro culture. Everybody played along, on what seemed to be, autopilot (and passively supporting injustice in the world) and I could choose which role i wanted to take on, so on and so forth. This was an early understanding in my life that led to a feeling of empowerment.. And lone existential anxiety.
I mention this because these reference points in my thinking gave me a strong inner motivation to explore consciousness, whilst still having a foot within the "fast-culture" (which is what I call the tendency to seek fast individual gratification at all times: having the right career, clothes, friends, hobbies etc).
My psychedelic experiences were mostly for the fun of it (stretching back 15 years), but I always had a sense that it was more to it.. Which I often disregarded as typical thoughts of a person whos just done too much psychedelics ;p ..the years past by and I was inspired by all of the thoughts these perspectives generated and so I began studying psychology at the university, where I now work. After a couple of years I wrote a thesis on how differences in the perception of temporal dimensions effects behavior (since I have hunches of reality being more like quantum physics, and only perceived as linear due to our cognitive limitations).
However, last year.. in November-December. I heard so many people talking about 20121221: in the "Hollywood way", and I was annoyed. So I did some research, and understood that the Mayan calendar allegedly predicts one lap around the bigger sun Sirius (please correct if wrong), without any ending of anything besides that specific cycle. This really got my attention, and I wanted to understand more. In my research Ive learned more about Ayahuasca, DMT, other things also such as the double slit experiment and cymatics (!).. I knew about DMT before, but did not give it attention. Until now.
..My gut feeling told me that if every possibility happens at once (as in quantum) - and if its only the limitations of our cognitive resources/the precise balance of information processing between brain structures that give the illusion of linear time and thus separation - then maybe (just maybe) could perception enhancing molecules allow the user to expand the awareness to different positions in space and time, with intention as a guide and oneness as results? But.. these where just speculations leading me closer to the thought of DMT.
The universe works in interesting ways, to say the least.
I have a friend, whom I've known since many years, and he has been extracting spice/changa and cooking aya/farmahuasca for a couple of years now. I did not know this until recently though. So.. in my urge to learn, I was told to call this old friend and talk more to him. And so I did. This was right before Christmas 2012, and our hours of discussion lead to him giving me a 1gr bag of changa (think he said it was the same combination as ayahuasca: mimosa hostilis+MAOI?, 333 DMT) to try out.
Well. Since that moment I have been back at his place 3 times for a 5gr bag each time. I've quit smoking cigarettes, I am eating healthier, feeling better, I try to give more positive energy to everyone I meet. Moreover I feel an urge and a responsibility to learn more and to bring this out to those who seek. ..To integrate it with science if possible and/or only with my own experience. ..and the list could be made long.
During the first month I had sessions smoking 2-4 times/week, and I THOUGHT that I had broken through a couple of times really. ..But after last Friday, I now know (but forgetting more and more as i write). I have only broken through once. And that was this last Friday. it was.. BIG. Scary in the moment, but overwhelmingly fantastic when i realized that I was actually coming back to my body. ..completely different from all the other times(with complete clarity). I know that this ...felt real. In a completely different league.. And that I must learn! slowly. And advance slowly (but i at least managed to stay panic free because i was able to hear my own controlled, aggressive breathing).
Because I know now a bit more what to expect, and the next time I will rely on me landing and thereby start to explore these realms more consciously.
Any thoughts from anyone would be greatly appreciated!!
So instead of relying on my friends cooking, I feel that this is a part of me that needs to be fully understood, appreciated and integrated in my life. I want to extract from plants with my intent, and I want to be part of this movement. I am thankful for any heads up for a beginner in the kitchen. ^^ (though i def will be asking along the way).
Mostly I look forward to the conversations!! (and have no rush with anything).
If youve read the whole thing I congratulate you and thank you for your effort.
