tna: Welcome, I'm still new here myself but I wanted to say a few things about your post. I know where your coming from with the social issues. As a kid I was very strange and never had many friends. When I smoked pot it made me more social, which is actually the opposite of what it does for you. If herb doesn't make you happy then why smoke it? I started taking psychedelics at 14 and by the time I was 18 had too many bad trips to count. I didn't embrace the experience in a spiritual way until I was in my mid twenties, simply because I was so against religion that I swore off spirituality. Spice came to me shortly after I embraced my spiritual self. I don't want to sound discouraging but in your current mindstate I don't know if you should partake in a psychedelic experience without an experienced individual to guide you. I would definitely not trip with a person who is also struggling emotionally. We give the disclaimer when promoting the use of psychedelics that if a person is struggling with any sort of ego or depression problems to seek the help of experienced users for a reason. I am a firm believer in psychedelic healing, but unless used properly they can cause serious damage to the psyche. I have given psychedelics to people just like you and even with my experience had trouble keeping some of them in touch with themselves. You are far better off doing this thing alone than bringing a second even more troubled individual to your experience. I would focus more on you and not try to fix someone else for now until your better capable of doing so. Putting in the work of preparing the brew is a good indicator that you are taking it seriously, but I worry about what may happen if you can't handle a long experience. You may want to consider trying to smoke spice first. It is a shorter experience so your less likely to have a chance to panic, especially if you have a breakthrough your first try. I wish you the best of luck and safe journeys friend, let us know what you do when you decide to do it.