Introduction

[Culebra]

Hello everyone,

I'm a young male from England with a passion for science and music, among other things. I've been a user of psychoactives for a few years now, and have a keen interest in entheogens in particular. My ideas about the world are changing every day, for example, significantly, I recently lost my atheistic beliefs (although I'm still very skeptical about most aspects of religion). All I really know is that there is something much more going on that we do not normally observe or are told.

I'm here now because I have a problem regarding a recurring malevolent psychedelic entity, so I'm hoping some people here might be able to help. I haven't used psychedelic drugs very much, so this is disturbing; it is intruding on my everyday, sober life. The entity seems to have nasty intentions and seems to be even living inside of me!

I've read a lot of stuff since this started happening but I still don't know what to do really, it is a wonder I'm still (relatively) ok. I've never been one for belief in the supernatural, I'm a scientist at heart. It is hard to talk about this to people without sounding like I'm crazy or deluded, BUT I know what I have experienced and it is very intense (and terrifying) sometimes.

Other than that I've been a visitor here for a while now and I'm a fan of the forum, plenty of intelligent people having interesting discussions which I like to see.

 

[Vodsel]

Welcome to the Nexus, Culebra. As an ex-christian, and ex-atheist, I always like to meet people who have been on, and off, and finally over.

Hopefully you will find a lot of people here who have had an experience similar to yours and can give you solid advice with your problem. I'm afraid I cannot. But I can think of a personal reading recommendation: Jim DeKorne's "Psychedelic Shamanism". The two chapters he talks about the question of entities are particularly sound and useful, IMO, and they might give you interesting perspectives if you haven't read the book yet. I'm saying because they were extremely meaningful to me and we seem to be in a similar mental space.

Once I heard that we shouldn't belittle the gods, because their non-existence in material terms doesn't make them less powerful or terrible. And I took that further than a mere apology for self suggestion.

Feel free to share more about your story, here or in a specific thread. I'm sure a lot of users will be interested in reading and happy to discuss.

 

[endlessness]

Welcome to the Forum!

Please check the Health And Safety section, the dark entities part and integration.

How long has it been since your last psychedelic and psychoactive experience? Please avoid drugs at least for a good while so that you can get yourself into a better inner space.


How is this seeming negative entity affecting your daily life?

Wish you find a way out of this difficult situation soon and grow with it !

 

[Culebra]

Wow, I wasn't expecting a response, and so quickly.

Vodsel, thanks for the recommendation, I'll look into it. One of the reviews from Amazon says this: 'Mr. deKorne's comments on entities and the imaginal realm are right on target.'
So someone is in agreement with you - it would appear that this book is very appropriate for my purposes. (And probably quite interesting to boot) Very helpful

And to endlessness: My last experience (besides cannabis, alcohol and tobacco) was probably five or six weeks ago with MDMA. At the end of the night things started getting pretty psychedelic. I saw the entity and he shouted: 'GET HIM OUT!!' very angrily. But remarkably that was the beginning of my emancipation, in the sense that I was no longer depressed, I had faced the entity without fear and gained insight into what had been happening to me.

In terms of my daily life, there are small things and big things, direct and indirect. Some minor weirdness includes 'watery twitches', random pinpricks of pain, headaches, a strange clicking noise coming from inside of my head, body vibrating, decreased appetite, a feeling of pressure in the front-left of my head, aches in random parts of my body, flashes of light in my vision, abberrant thoughts, among other things.

The main problem is in the form of sleep and dreams though. He frequently comes to me in my sleep, particularly if I become lucid, for some reason. Sometimes it seems that he is directing some of these dreams himself in some way. These dreams are often stranger and always more sinister than normal. I have encountered him quite a few times, either in his own form or through his manipulation of characters in my dream, most frequently my father.

But the real big problem is entering the psychedelic state where he is free to psychically hurt me. It is the one place he has very real power over me. It is hard to describe, but there is a bodily, vibrational intensity, a sort of magnetic void. A sense of entering another realm. It is very physical, very psychedelic. The gravity is immense. Boundaries dissolve. It occurs in a state where I am almost asleep but my mind is still 'on'. He is indescribably cruel and very powerful too, although I am resisting it well for now. It is intense. When he is coming 'closer' and attempting to strike (or even simply being very present) there is a big rush of (warm, positive, vibrational) energy to the sides of my head in particular. This seems to be a kind of defense mechanism by my body/mind. One feeling I could compare it to is goosebumps although it is quite different and much more fluid and energetic.

I fear being in the dark now, and I fear going to sleep often, often enough to keep me awake all night. I have taken to drinking alcohol before bed because it mitigates some of the symptoms and the fear. And smoking far more frequently

This is quite a lot to try to describe, and there's quite a lot more to it than what I have said. I don't think I'm doing it well at all. Maybe I should start a thread on it separately... In the mean time, I'll have a look at the dark entities thread. Thank you

 

[Culebra]

Again, thanks for the replies. Upon reading the dark entities page, I did find something potentially very helpful.

"If all else fails, you can call on guardians you have met previously or have affinity for. Allies that might come to your aid can take any form, and the spirit of the vine itself can be quite protective. It helps for this if you have cultivated friendships and have worked with your guardians previously, but you might be surprised who will come to your aid if you implore with sincerity.

This would be brilliant, had I cultivated a relationship with any guardians I would attempt this.

"In the end, the last resort (and also most effective) is to call upon the Universal power of light and oneness. Whatever your spiritual belief system, many consider this power is your birthright as a child of the Omniverse. Admit that you have reached the limit of your ability to protect yourself, and call upon the highest power you can envision... the light that will radiate through you will be able to dispel any darkness. Remember to be humble if you do this, as it is not your personal power that you have channeled or called upon. "

This might be my last resort. Tonight I am ready to confront him if he chooses. I don't know what will happen but I have learned enough already to know I have a fighting chance.

"Command the entities to leave your presence." Something I have done but he doesn't leave. I thought I was rid of him but he's back with a vengeance. As I type this he is exhibiting aggression. It is true, he feeds on fear, I think.

Now, for tonight, I have the confidence to confront him, something I haven't always had before.

Thank you again.

Edit: I chickened out. For now. That said, at some point, I might not have a choice (ie in the early hours of the morning). Time to get some beer. :\

 

[Pandora]

Culebra,

Welcome to the Nexus. I'm so very glad you took the time to check out that Health & Safety section - I wish all new members would. As you saw, it can be very relevant and/or helpful. It is well written by people who really care.

I would recommend actively working on integration issues without re-dosing. Take time to do this during an extended period of sobriety and see what comes. I mean what would happen if you took 6 months off from all entheogens? Then tried again? I wonder if you would be plagued by the same issues?

Other than this, I would recommend replying to any/all entities with surrender and love as well as observation and lack of judgement. Figure it all out AFTER the experience is over, etc.

I certainly hope you find what you are searching for and again offer you a warm welcome to the Nexus.

 

[Culebra]

Hi Pandora, thanks for your response.

Well, I haven't used any psychedelics except MDMA since July, and even then I've only had two proper doses (mushrooms and 2c-i) that was back in Jan/Feb. I say this because I don't want to give the impression that I've got to this stage by overusing psychedelics. My only other psychedelic use has been a few sub-breakthrough doses of DMT (July).

This episode came to fruition because I tuned in to the psychedelic state while sober by 'communing' with myself. This in itself was rewarding. But now I can't seem to tune out!

The problem is I now have to work with integration day in day out because most nights I have some kind of psychedelic experience. Even if I just turn off all the lights I can see the 'spirits' (of my own) and other stranger entities. The experience is ongoing.

But yes your advice is sound. Last night was strange and I'm still not sure what to make of it. It seems like now there are other non-malevolent entities involved? I might learn more tonight about why things are changing the way they are and what the nature of this new situation is.

You are right, all I can do is surrender to the entities in the way you describe. Although this is much easier now that there doesn't seem to be as direct a threat. It is interesting but very unnerving.