At last, I have found a site where the like minded can congregate and have discussions without the worry of 'trolls' or anything that would be of little help.
Well to start off, I am WEM, and to me I feel like I really can't be a part of the nexus without at least somewhat opening up about who I am. Don't be surprised if I jump around chronologically a lot... kinda my thing.
I was at college, experimenting with new things like most with the new entirely open lifestyle that is college. See I was never really taught what the concept of 'free choice' really meant as a kid, I mean, I did have the ability to pick between choices, but I never really had the ability to make the choices to decide from. The songs "You don't Believe" by the Alan Parsons Project and "Numb" by Linkin Park describe more or less what the revelation I had at college was like. I saw that I wasn't being me, but rather what my parents were hoping I'd become. I first started to get hints of this idea when my mom would call asking my about how I was doing with my medications (instead of classes or social life), see I was diagnosed with depression in high school after a relatively stupid (but blown out of proportions) fight that got me a one way ticket to visit a shrink (don't worry, there wasn't any physical violence, just the exchange of words), my parents then had me go to this guy for a while, he kinda helped. This of course was followed by medications, and switching from one to the next in line when that one didn't work... probably tried 5-6 different SSRIs going all the way into college. I even had a new shrink in college cause the first one wasn't working. What I realized only after going through the cycle of med switches is that these meds weren't something that I wanted because I thought I needed changing, it's because my parents thought I did. So as of fall of 2011 I've been off the antidepressants, sure the first month or so was dreadful, but that was because I hadn't been 'sober' in years. It was only after I stopped taking I started to actually feel like myself again, actually took some getting used to. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally fine with people going to a psychologist/ taking medications to help with their mood, my girlfriend is actually wanting to be a child psychologist, it's just that i realized that my parents were having me go through the treatments because they wanted me to be different, not because I wanted to be.
As of now, I'm back at home, looking for work. Yes it kinda sucks to be stuck at home, but it's better than being homeless.
Where does my desire to try DMT come into all of this??? Well to describe it is difficult, but here it goes: My desire to know what we are, what the meaning of it all is, basically the whole question of "WHY?" really. I understand that this isn't like smoking weed which most people use simply to get high, and that it's an entire spiritual experience, I was never one to fully believe when people would confidently tell me what they "know" about such things as the afterlife or what life even is, mostly because there isn't many answers to give that have been "proven" in any sense of the word. I personally believe that you can't just be told what we are, but rather, you need to see it for yourself. I've been told many a times that you can never be fully prepared for your first dmt experience, and I'm almost certain I won't know what they mean until after my first experience.
As of yet, I have not acquired any supplies to preform an extraction except for the knowledge of how to. Having tried shrooms, I understand the concept of set and setting (and using a sitter), I believe my set is as ready as it can be, but my setting, is not, so patience is a virtue, is it not?
Well to start off, I am WEM, and to me I feel like I really can't be a part of the nexus without at least somewhat opening up about who I am. Don't be surprised if I jump around chronologically a lot... kinda my thing.
I was at college, experimenting with new things like most with the new entirely open lifestyle that is college. See I was never really taught what the concept of 'free choice' really meant as a kid, I mean, I did have the ability to pick between choices, but I never really had the ability to make the choices to decide from. The songs "You don't Believe" by the Alan Parsons Project and "Numb" by Linkin Park describe more or less what the revelation I had at college was like. I saw that I wasn't being me, but rather what my parents were hoping I'd become. I first started to get hints of this idea when my mom would call asking my about how I was doing with my medications (instead of classes or social life), see I was diagnosed with depression in high school after a relatively stupid (but blown out of proportions) fight that got me a one way ticket to visit a shrink (don't worry, there wasn't any physical violence, just the exchange of words), my parents then had me go to this guy for a while, he kinda helped. This of course was followed by medications, and switching from one to the next in line when that one didn't work... probably tried 5-6 different SSRIs going all the way into college. I even had a new shrink in college cause the first one wasn't working. What I realized only after going through the cycle of med switches is that these meds weren't something that I wanted because I thought I needed changing, it's because my parents thought I did. So as of fall of 2011 I've been off the antidepressants, sure the first month or so was dreadful, but that was because I hadn't been 'sober' in years. It was only after I stopped taking I started to actually feel like myself again, actually took some getting used to. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally fine with people going to a psychologist/ taking medications to help with their mood, my girlfriend is actually wanting to be a child psychologist, it's just that i realized that my parents were having me go through the treatments because they wanted me to be different, not because I wanted to be.
As of now, I'm back at home, looking for work. Yes it kinda sucks to be stuck at home, but it's better than being homeless.
Where does my desire to try DMT come into all of this??? Well to describe it is difficult, but here it goes: My desire to know what we are, what the meaning of it all is, basically the whole question of "WHY?" really. I understand that this isn't like smoking weed which most people use simply to get high, and that it's an entire spiritual experience, I was never one to fully believe when people would confidently tell me what they "know" about such things as the afterlife or what life even is, mostly because there isn't many answers to give that have been "proven" in any sense of the word. I personally believe that you can't just be told what we are, but rather, you need to see it for yourself. I've been told many a times that you can never be fully prepared for your first dmt experience, and I'm almost certain I won't know what they mean until after my first experience.
As of yet, I have not acquired any supplies to preform an extraction except for the knowledge of how to. Having tried shrooms, I understand the concept of set and setting (and using a sitter), I believe my set is as ready as it can be, but my setting, is not, so patience is a virtue, is it not?
