hi all.
only jus registered to site, tho i've breezed thru as guest many times. A li'l background info: i am 34, i've been a general druggy i guess from about 13 before spending last ten yrs getting lost in heroin habit. After my 1st iboga session when my head began to clear i stopped perceiving narcotics as fun, mysterious or romantic. I feel like i've sold my soul to drugs + now i've to work towards trying to steal it back or something. I want to change nearly everything about my life, but man it's hard! The spiritual, personal insights that I gained after that 1st iboga session have never left me + it showed me a glimpse of the person I could/should be. It was extremely theraputic + I have been trying to have a similar experience since because I feel i'm in a rut, hopelessly lacking drive + loosing the focus neccessary to make all the real life changes that i crave. I have a real interest in entheogens + have been experimenting with psilocybin + ayahuasca mixes but iboga I feel has the most to offer me right now. I have tried to have a flood dose 4 times now but only the 1st has been particuarly significant or profound. I have spent alot of money + presume the explanation lies in the dosage but i'd like to try to find out if I have high tolerance or not used high enough dose to 'break through'.
Last thursday I took 3.5g iboga 60% TA from popular dutch vendor. I don't know how this equates to mg ibogaine / kg bodyweight. Would be really great if anyone could help me there. I explained that my last 2 sessions had consisted mainly of feeling bored, crazy hungry + the moments when I was feeling little bit trippy i'd be thinking, annalyzing, wondering hmmm am I starting to trip, is this it...no visions, no insights, not exactly overwelming. The vendor assured me that for 10 stone guy whos no longer addicted, 3.5g was strong flood dose. Alas, again the physical toil just didn't seem to justify the experience. The 1st time I experienced real sense of ego loss for 1st time ever, this time, like twice previously I felt bored, anticipating moment when could tear head from pillow, get up + eat!!! Unfortunately, I do not know proper doseages that i've taken in previous sessions.
First time, with Sara Glatt she gave me one sample capsule that produced mild euphoria and loud audible buzzing followed by around maybe 30 capsules that I presume to have been a total alkaloid extract. When I lay down, eyes closed it felt like I was off on a magic carpet orbiting thru the cosmos. It was intense, + felt very personal. All the shooting streams of light like in star wars when flying thru speed of light or whatever where thoughts or memories from my head + I had ability to grab one at random and explore it in esquisit detail. Then around 3rd mb 4th day the real revelation came! I found that iboga could possibly gimme bac my life not just give me breathing space from my addiction. Originally I anticipated it relieving PAWs + give me new chance to let me use sociably but not get habit again(yea that ol' chestnut, lol!) After that 1st experience I felt like my thoughts had been sorted out + refiled, the destructive or childish ones planked away, the constructive positive ones filed up at the front. I was so positive + upbeat, it was unreal. In my mind i felt ready..! However, I was sick still. The runny nose sneezing + leg cramps n' pains probably a remaining echo of withdrawl, but as great as I felt from neck up, my body was sooo weak, I mean it was pathetic. At the time I blamed it on fact i'd been recklessly shooting methadrone type research chemicals daily for months prior. Mb some type blood poisoning? Could ny1 offer their thoughts on this, please, as i've never even heard of other junkies taking so long to recover. By time I could walk properly near month(!) later my general well being had run its course. It was frustrating having energy in yr mind, having insomnia + sense of restlessness, wanting to go change yr life NOW, having strong desire go take up thai chi, run on beach, all the things that never would normally appeal to you but being too fuct phycically to walk to end of street! After weeks of frustration I used a little to help sleep, aches, but really to get high.
After this I chipped a bit, using more days than not till I chastised myself got some iboga TA + tried repeat process. The TA came from friend already in capsules this time who said take all 50 caps! I knew this was more than 1st time but obviously slightly weaker extract i presumed. There was not as much purging as 1st time (ALOT!), physically hard, but although had only smallest habit, WD symptoms i'd say were less than 10% of what shud'v been. but no visions, insights or seratonin overload afterwards. Buzzing sound was also either quiet/not noticable. My friend has given me misguided dose i thought to myself.
I never made the neccessary changes + drifted bac towards gear, eventually getting nasty habit at start of last yrs big heroin drought. Hard few months staying well, but always managed source something; but I was pissed off with myself for being soo stupid. So, back to Sara in Holland. This time I was sick when we met, few capsules helped, then around half dozen more before i lay down. Again, absolute max - 10% withdrawl symptoms - absolutely amazing! But again, I felt like I was tied up in pitch black cave (couldnt move or i'd get intense nausea) starving hungry, my mind trailing off at times, rest of time BORED!
I've been told that you just can't account for what you might find when you delve into sub concious - It does not mean that you have no issues to confront if u have long boring iboga experience, but 3!!! What is that all about??? How come 4times with iboga TA and such differance in numbers of capsules?-approx 30 1st time then 50, then 6!? (This time I weighed out the 3.5g into rizla paper bombs as had no capsules). Each time someone has decided for me my doseage, besides last week each was for opiate addiction primarily, now each of these doses took away withdrawl but twice I felt like hadn't taken enuf to really break on thru as I did my first time??? Would you guys consider these flood doses??? You need flood dose to do away with withdrawls, but i'm thinking theres flood doses + FLOOD doses, but I don't wanna jus guess myself dose for next time without doing all my homework.
I'm really sorry if this long post has bored balls off you,got wee bit carried away perhaps but I apreciate you guys taking time to read it, + I would really apreciate your comments, thoughts or advise for my next dose.cheers
only jus registered to site, tho i've breezed thru as guest many times. A li'l background info: i am 34, i've been a general druggy i guess from about 13 before spending last ten yrs getting lost in heroin habit. After my 1st iboga session when my head began to clear i stopped perceiving narcotics as fun, mysterious or romantic. I feel like i've sold my soul to drugs + now i've to work towards trying to steal it back or something. I want to change nearly everything about my life, but man it's hard! The spiritual, personal insights that I gained after that 1st iboga session have never left me + it showed me a glimpse of the person I could/should be. It was extremely theraputic + I have been trying to have a similar experience since because I feel i'm in a rut, hopelessly lacking drive + loosing the focus neccessary to make all the real life changes that i crave. I have a real interest in entheogens + have been experimenting with psilocybin + ayahuasca mixes but iboga I feel has the most to offer me right now. I have tried to have a flood dose 4 times now but only the 1st has been particuarly significant or profound. I have spent alot of money + presume the explanation lies in the dosage but i'd like to try to find out if I have high tolerance or not used high enough dose to 'break through'.
Last thursday I took 3.5g iboga 60% TA from popular dutch vendor. I don't know how this equates to mg ibogaine / kg bodyweight. Would be really great if anyone could help me there. I explained that my last 2 sessions had consisted mainly of feeling bored, crazy hungry + the moments when I was feeling little bit trippy i'd be thinking, annalyzing, wondering hmmm am I starting to trip, is this it...no visions, no insights, not exactly overwelming. The vendor assured me that for 10 stone guy whos no longer addicted, 3.5g was strong flood dose. Alas, again the physical toil just didn't seem to justify the experience. The 1st time I experienced real sense of ego loss for 1st time ever, this time, like twice previously I felt bored, anticipating moment when could tear head from pillow, get up + eat!!! Unfortunately, I do not know proper doseages that i've taken in previous sessions.
First time, with Sara Glatt she gave me one sample capsule that produced mild euphoria and loud audible buzzing followed by around maybe 30 capsules that I presume to have been a total alkaloid extract. When I lay down, eyes closed it felt like I was off on a magic carpet orbiting thru the cosmos. It was intense, + felt very personal. All the shooting streams of light like in star wars when flying thru speed of light or whatever where thoughts or memories from my head + I had ability to grab one at random and explore it in esquisit detail. Then around 3rd mb 4th day the real revelation came! I found that iboga could possibly gimme bac my life not just give me breathing space from my addiction. Originally I anticipated it relieving PAWs + give me new chance to let me use sociably but not get habit again(yea that ol' chestnut, lol!) After that 1st experience I felt like my thoughts had been sorted out + refiled, the destructive or childish ones planked away, the constructive positive ones filed up at the front. I was so positive + upbeat, it was unreal. In my mind i felt ready..! However, I was sick still. The runny nose sneezing + leg cramps n' pains probably a remaining echo of withdrawl, but as great as I felt from neck up, my body was sooo weak, I mean it was pathetic. At the time I blamed it on fact i'd been recklessly shooting methadrone type research chemicals daily for months prior. Mb some type blood poisoning? Could ny1 offer their thoughts on this, please, as i've never even heard of other junkies taking so long to recover. By time I could walk properly near month(!) later my general well being had run its course. It was frustrating having energy in yr mind, having insomnia + sense of restlessness, wanting to go change yr life NOW, having strong desire go take up thai chi, run on beach, all the things that never would normally appeal to you but being too fuct phycically to walk to end of street! After weeks of frustration I used a little to help sleep, aches, but really to get high.
After this I chipped a bit, using more days than not till I chastised myself got some iboga TA + tried repeat process. The TA came from friend already in capsules this time who said take all 50 caps! I knew this was more than 1st time but obviously slightly weaker extract i presumed. There was not as much purging as 1st time (ALOT!), physically hard, but although had only smallest habit, WD symptoms i'd say were less than 10% of what shud'v been. but no visions, insights or seratonin overload afterwards. Buzzing sound was also either quiet/not noticable. My friend has given me misguided dose i thought to myself.
I never made the neccessary changes + drifted bac towards gear, eventually getting nasty habit at start of last yrs big heroin drought. Hard few months staying well, but always managed source something; but I was pissed off with myself for being soo stupid. So, back to Sara in Holland. This time I was sick when we met, few capsules helped, then around half dozen more before i lay down. Again, absolute max - 10% withdrawl symptoms - absolutely amazing! But again, I felt like I was tied up in pitch black cave (couldnt move or i'd get intense nausea) starving hungry, my mind trailing off at times, rest of time BORED!
I've been told that you just can't account for what you might find when you delve into sub concious - It does not mean that you have no issues to confront if u have long boring iboga experience, but 3!!! What is that all about??? How come 4times with iboga TA and such differance in numbers of capsules?-approx 30 1st time then 50, then 6!? (This time I weighed out the 3.5g into rizla paper bombs as had no capsules). Each time someone has decided for me my doseage, besides last week each was for opiate addiction primarily, now each of these doses took away withdrawl but twice I felt like hadn't taken enuf to really break on thru as I did my first time??? Would you guys consider these flood doses??? You need flood dose to do away with withdrawls, but i'm thinking theres flood doses + FLOOD doses, but I don't wanna jus guess myself dose for next time without doing all my homework.
I'm really sorry if this long post has bored balls off you,got wee bit carried away perhaps but I apreciate you guys taking time to read it, + I would really apreciate your comments, thoughts or advise for my next dose.cheers
