Vent01
Rising Star
Its moving without me
distracting
...I wish
zoom out
reinsert myself romantic
a fragile connection between me and everything
Scribbled that down a few days after my first two DMT trips.
I had not added my DMT experiences yet on the Nexus and I thought I would do that now. I lurk too often anyway.
First trip:
I had successfully done an STB tek a few nights before. On a whim this night, I decided to try spice. The only thing I had to smoke the freebase was a tiny bowl my girlfriend uses to smoke pot out of. I packed the bowl with pot and sprinkled spice on top and then covered it with more pot. I only had one psychedelic experience prior to this moment. Took some shrooms and had a blast. Though, I poured over many experience reports about DMT to give me some sort of foothold into what I decided to do.
I started taking hits while staring at the freebase disappearing under the pot, melting when caked with the flame. I can smell that weird odor. "Like Nature's bad breath" I thought to myself. I didn't feel anything at first. I said out loud to my girlfriend "I'm just smoking weed now. I f**ked up the tek."
She was recording me. I asked her to do so to review my behavior afterwards.
Then when I was going for a last hit my fingers were tapering off from my field of view. It came out of no where. The bowl itself was the size of a pool for a split second. I was caught off-guard. I lowered the bowl after the hit and looked at my girlfriend and said "I'm starting to feel shroom-like effects already!" She started twitching even though she was sitting still right in front of me. A sort of sway that was just peculiar enough to warrant strange. It dissipated and the strong shroom body load was lowering itself. I was pretty disappointed. I was high from the pot but a bit different with this flirtatious shroom-like DMT effect. We emerged from the room where this took place and I felt better to be in an open area. It was already late at night and the girlfriend decided to hit the sack due to the anti-climactic launch into hyperspace.
I laid next to her. I remembered I wanted to clean up the other room a bit more before I actually fell asleep. So I got up and immediately felt different yet again. Almost... third person perhaps. Like my head was floating above my body. A balloon bobbing along following my body. I started picking up the dish where I had freeze precip the DMT. I grasped it and looked into it, staring at the powdery substance. Panic engulfed me. Thoughts popped into my mind:
"I'm making f**king meth! Is this really what I wanted? Did I trick myself?" And on and on it goes until I yell at myself to shut the f**k up. I clean everything up and head back to bed to sleep. DMT had other plans. I start to hear footsteps. At first, from a distance. But then it gradually became louder and louder until it sounded like a platoon of grizzled veteran soldiers with steel toed boots marching down the halls of the apt building! I quickly get up to check out the front of the door. No one. I lay back down and realize these are audio hallucinations. Something I didn't expect. More start to develop. Inaudible whispering and shuffling. It all overlapped. All the noise. The worst part was when a roaring, thundering, completely shattering sound of a drill manifested. It was coming from the direction of the walls above and in front of me.
I was rattled to the bone. Not only was I attempting to sleep during this circus in my head, I also started getting mentally attacked by thoughts of doom and insignificance. To ward off this I grabbed my phone and opened the note pad to start writing these emotional driven thoughts:
"I feel like a doll with batteries. My existence is that of a shell. There is my tiny heart battery slowly working down to the end. I hear all of the machinery right outside of the walls. Chain thought leading to reflection of my life. Impermanence."
I couldn't write much else. When it peaked and I had given up fighting it, a surge came over me that gave me one idea:
"This is a test"
I laughed to myself and the audio hallucinations were dying down now. I told myself that I passed the DMT Test, the first trip. I was determined to smoke again tomorrow night. WITHOUT weed.
Second Trip:
The next night I was prepared for a real trip. Not audio hallucinations. (Maybe I was just hoping to not endure such pain this time around.) I was able to get some mint from a neighbor to substitute the pot. Which I thought would help for a pure trip.
It was earlier in the day, still light out. I brought my big ol' headphones (Sennheiser HD 465) this time and decide not to ask my girlfriend to record me. I have a song ready to play:
Belong - October Language
I load the bowl with minty mint leaves and sprinkle some more DMT. I cover it again with more mint. Then, I do a small prayer to Chango (Santeria) which I do not do often. (You can see I was out of my comfort zone for this next encounter.) I am laying down on the bed. I take a total of 5 or 6 hard hits with deep breaths. I place the bowl down on the adjacent nightstand and lay back with song going and headphones on.
I close my eyes
First thing to happen is a circle coming immediately into view with hieroglyphs around the edges of the circle. It rotated for a moment then disappeared behind my eyes. I didn't understand. Then there was a pause of darkness. In the center of my vision I saw a dot. It was brighter than the darkness but too tiny to know what it was. It came towards me. Slowly. At first it seemed to be dancing but then I realized it was a cube bobbing up and down. Once it was within range to view detail, I was blown away by how realistic it looked. Pure 3D cube saturated in vibrant color which seemed to pulse while floating like a bobber/floater for fishing.
Then this happy little cube decides to settle down to my side. And by side I mean the side of my vision. Peripherally. I still felt the bed I laid on. But was confused at the authentic looking 3D image of a cube. Also, at this point my girlfriend laid down next to me to read a book, naked. (This is important for later lol)
After it settled more blocks floated and twirled their way down from where ever the end of my sight leads to. One after another they were settling on the sides of my vision, stacking on top of each other. Then it occurred to me! Like when you see those trick images that you think are two lamps but are actually two faces! (Or vise versa) The cubes weren't coming to me... I was walking towards the cubes!!!!! And it wasn't just cubes, it was an entire hallway made of them! They became the walls on either side of me! I was blown away by this realization! I noted the ceiling arched in a half circle while I gazed. The hallway was alive and glowing.
But then something took my attention away IMMEDIATELY! I shit you not, the portrait of a Sylvia Ji painting manifested down the hallway and started walking towards me!
I felt myself stop moving. I looked at her. Her body language, her facial expression. Nothing told me whether she was friend or foe. She was in a robe like in the picture. And only her feet would show the tips whenever she step forward. At this point I was a bit uneasy and I decided to open my eyes...
Surprise for me! The world I had left behind for a while was fully melting and breathing! Everything! I look over my shoulder to see my naked girlfriend and SHE WAS SEE THROUGH! Here are some images to help you understand wtf I saw:
Her skin was like cellophane. She had a river of light inside of her. Gold. F**king. Light. Pouring out and twirling inside!
She also had this aura-type-thing around her:
I was in awe. She smiled.
She then said something but came out in an alien language unable for me to understand. I laughed and said
"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."
I proceeded to poke and massage her body a bit while seeing her muscles move under my hand. I laid back and closed my eyes again only to be confronted by a very patient shaman lady. She was right in front of my face. If she had breath, I could have smelled it. I realized its moving without me. The trip behind my eyes was moving on its own without me being there. This made it even more real for me. I was a bit scared of her but also ready for anything. (Whatever that means)
She waited for just an instance and then unveiled her robe to me. So softly and quietly.
Next thing I know I am in a place with which no words can describe. I am still not even sure if it was a place or a state of mind. I felt emotions flood into my bones. Love, Trust, Warmth, Safety and a very very surprising maternal love. I am embarrassed to say I didn't even remember I had that emotion to feel. It was wonderful. It was gorgeous. It was true in all sense of the word.
Bam! We are back at the hallway 1 inch from each others' face. I surrendered any negativity right then and there. I trust you. I believe you. (I thought to her)
She grasps my hand, though I don't feel it. She somehow conveys the thought "come with me to my world" but I didn't see her speak or turn her head towards me. Let alone turn the other way and drag me down the hall! I couldn't stop gazing upon her hair and the walls. It was all morphing like little transformers with colors I never knew existed. I saw a window and immediately went to it and poked my head out. The rest I cannot explain. Lets just say that I know of infinity now. She pulls me away from the window. I hold her hand like an innocent child walking down the hall of light.
It all starts to dim a bit at this point. Slowly but surely everything disappears and it is just darkness. A cleansing type of darkness. No more bouncing cubes or shaman women. Just black. Came and went like a phantasmal hallucination. I slowly open my eyes and the world is stabilizing. I fall to my side and stare over the side of the bed onto the floor with a smile. The wooden panels are warping up and down in rhythm. Slower. Slower. Until they stopped completely. I look up and check the cable box.
It had only been 6 minutes.
Artists are Sylvia Ji, Alex Grey, Chadd Haarman
distracting
...I wish
zoom out
reinsert myself romantic
a fragile connection between me and everything
Scribbled that down a few days after my first two DMT trips.
I had not added my DMT experiences yet on the Nexus and I thought I would do that now. I lurk too often anyway.
First trip:
I had successfully done an STB tek a few nights before. On a whim this night, I decided to try spice. The only thing I had to smoke the freebase was a tiny bowl my girlfriend uses to smoke pot out of. I packed the bowl with pot and sprinkled spice on top and then covered it with more pot. I only had one psychedelic experience prior to this moment. Took some shrooms and had a blast. Though, I poured over many experience reports about DMT to give me some sort of foothold into what I decided to do.
I started taking hits while staring at the freebase disappearing under the pot, melting when caked with the flame. I can smell that weird odor. "Like Nature's bad breath" I thought to myself. I didn't feel anything at first. I said out loud to my girlfriend "I'm just smoking weed now. I f**ked up the tek."
She was recording me. I asked her to do so to review my behavior afterwards.
Then when I was going for a last hit my fingers were tapering off from my field of view. It came out of no where. The bowl itself was the size of a pool for a split second. I was caught off-guard. I lowered the bowl after the hit and looked at my girlfriend and said "I'm starting to feel shroom-like effects already!" She started twitching even though she was sitting still right in front of me. A sort of sway that was just peculiar enough to warrant strange. It dissipated and the strong shroom body load was lowering itself. I was pretty disappointed. I was high from the pot but a bit different with this flirtatious shroom-like DMT effect. We emerged from the room where this took place and I felt better to be in an open area. It was already late at night and the girlfriend decided to hit the sack due to the anti-climactic launch into hyperspace.
I laid next to her. I remembered I wanted to clean up the other room a bit more before I actually fell asleep. So I got up and immediately felt different yet again. Almost... third person perhaps. Like my head was floating above my body. A balloon bobbing along following my body. I started picking up the dish where I had freeze precip the DMT. I grasped it and looked into it, staring at the powdery substance. Panic engulfed me. Thoughts popped into my mind:
"I'm making f**king meth! Is this really what I wanted? Did I trick myself?" And on and on it goes until I yell at myself to shut the f**k up. I clean everything up and head back to bed to sleep. DMT had other plans. I start to hear footsteps. At first, from a distance. But then it gradually became louder and louder until it sounded like a platoon of grizzled veteran soldiers with steel toed boots marching down the halls of the apt building! I quickly get up to check out the front of the door. No one. I lay back down and realize these are audio hallucinations. Something I didn't expect. More start to develop. Inaudible whispering and shuffling. It all overlapped. All the noise. The worst part was when a roaring, thundering, completely shattering sound of a drill manifested. It was coming from the direction of the walls above and in front of me.
I was rattled to the bone. Not only was I attempting to sleep during this circus in my head, I also started getting mentally attacked by thoughts of doom and insignificance. To ward off this I grabbed my phone and opened the note pad to start writing these emotional driven thoughts:
"I feel like a doll with batteries. My existence is that of a shell. There is my tiny heart battery slowly working down to the end. I hear all of the machinery right outside of the walls. Chain thought leading to reflection of my life. Impermanence."
I couldn't write much else. When it peaked and I had given up fighting it, a surge came over me that gave me one idea:
"This is a test"
I laughed to myself and the audio hallucinations were dying down now. I told myself that I passed the DMT Test, the first trip. I was determined to smoke again tomorrow night. WITHOUT weed.
Second Trip:
The next night I was prepared for a real trip. Not audio hallucinations. (Maybe I was just hoping to not endure such pain this time around.) I was able to get some mint from a neighbor to substitute the pot. Which I thought would help for a pure trip.
It was earlier in the day, still light out. I brought my big ol' headphones (Sennheiser HD 465) this time and decide not to ask my girlfriend to record me. I have a song ready to play:
Belong - October Language
I load the bowl with minty mint leaves and sprinkle some more DMT. I cover it again with more mint. Then, I do a small prayer to Chango (Santeria) which I do not do often. (You can see I was out of my comfort zone for this next encounter.) I am laying down on the bed. I take a total of 5 or 6 hard hits with deep breaths. I place the bowl down on the adjacent nightstand and lay back with song going and headphones on.
I close my eyes
First thing to happen is a circle coming immediately into view with hieroglyphs around the edges of the circle. It rotated for a moment then disappeared behind my eyes. I didn't understand. Then there was a pause of darkness. In the center of my vision I saw a dot. It was brighter than the darkness but too tiny to know what it was. It came towards me. Slowly. At first it seemed to be dancing but then I realized it was a cube bobbing up and down. Once it was within range to view detail, I was blown away by how realistic it looked. Pure 3D cube saturated in vibrant color which seemed to pulse while floating like a bobber/floater for fishing.
Then this happy little cube decides to settle down to my side. And by side I mean the side of my vision. Peripherally. I still felt the bed I laid on. But was confused at the authentic looking 3D image of a cube. Also, at this point my girlfriend laid down next to me to read a book, naked. (This is important for later lol)
After it settled more blocks floated and twirled their way down from where ever the end of my sight leads to. One after another they were settling on the sides of my vision, stacking on top of each other. Then it occurred to me! Like when you see those trick images that you think are two lamps but are actually two faces! (Or vise versa) The cubes weren't coming to me... I was walking towards the cubes!!!!! And it wasn't just cubes, it was an entire hallway made of them! They became the walls on either side of me! I was blown away by this realization! I noted the ceiling arched in a half circle while I gazed. The hallway was alive and glowing.
But then something took my attention away IMMEDIATELY! I shit you not, the portrait of a Sylvia Ji painting manifested down the hallway and started walking towards me!
I felt myself stop moving. I looked at her. Her body language, her facial expression. Nothing told me whether she was friend or foe. She was in a robe like in the picture. And only her feet would show the tips whenever she step forward. At this point I was a bit uneasy and I decided to open my eyes...
Surprise for me! The world I had left behind for a while was fully melting and breathing! Everything! I look over my shoulder to see my naked girlfriend and SHE WAS SEE THROUGH! Here are some images to help you understand wtf I saw:
Her skin was like cellophane. She had a river of light inside of her. Gold. F**king. Light. Pouring out and twirling inside!
She also had this aura-type-thing around her:
I was in awe. She smiled.
She then said something but came out in an alien language unable for me to understand. I laughed and said
"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."
I proceeded to poke and massage her body a bit while seeing her muscles move under my hand. I laid back and closed my eyes again only to be confronted by a very patient shaman lady. She was right in front of my face. If she had breath, I could have smelled it. I realized its moving without me. The trip behind my eyes was moving on its own without me being there. This made it even more real for me. I was a bit scared of her but also ready for anything. (Whatever that means)
She waited for just an instance and then unveiled her robe to me. So softly and quietly.
Next thing I know I am in a place with which no words can describe. I am still not even sure if it was a place or a state of mind. I felt emotions flood into my bones. Love, Trust, Warmth, Safety and a very very surprising maternal love. I am embarrassed to say I didn't even remember I had that emotion to feel. It was wonderful. It was gorgeous. It was true in all sense of the word.
Bam! We are back at the hallway 1 inch from each others' face. I surrendered any negativity right then and there. I trust you. I believe you. (I thought to her)
She grasps my hand, though I don't feel it. She somehow conveys the thought "come with me to my world" but I didn't see her speak or turn her head towards me. Let alone turn the other way and drag me down the hall! I couldn't stop gazing upon her hair and the walls. It was all morphing like little transformers with colors I never knew existed. I saw a window and immediately went to it and poked my head out. The rest I cannot explain. Lets just say that I know of infinity now. She pulls me away from the window. I hold her hand like an innocent child walking down the hall of light.
It all starts to dim a bit at this point. Slowly but surely everything disappears and it is just darkness. A cleansing type of darkness. No more bouncing cubes or shaman women. Just black. Came and went like a phantasmal hallucination. I slowly open my eyes and the world is stabilizing. I fall to my side and stare over the side of the bed onto the floor with a smile. The wooden panels are warping up and down in rhythm. Slower. Slower. Until they stopped completely. I look up and check the cable box.
It had only been 6 minutes.
Artists are Sylvia Ji, Alex Grey, Chadd Haarman
