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I've gone crazy and gone to hell

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DreamWaves

DreamWaves

SWIM
last night around 1:50 am I munches on 3.5 grams of my newly harvested golden teacher cubensis. Downed them with Sunny Delight.

I went to my with my laptop and phone, and closed the doors. I called my friend nathan and chatted with you good fellas for a while.

The first phase was hilariously funny. I could not stop laughing, it was much fun.

I can't really remember when things started to get crazy, but they did. Time didn't really seem to be a factor which is why I can't remember when I changed into a mad man.

So I'll give it my best shot. Imagine seeing 2 kinds of people. ALL the people who keep saying "You need help, those things will make you crazy, you should go to church, god loves you, etc", and US people who say "Belief systems are childlish, these things will help open your mind to more understanding, it's all about love, you're doing the right thing".

For what seemed like infinity I thought for sure that I was all wrong and the church people were right. I should have just listened but I didn't! And this, is what made me go crazy. I had both sides tearing at me, and all I can think was "My god, I was wrong this entire time!"

I think now that I was confusing some wrong's I've done in my life with psychedelics. I saw some fucked up issues I have in my life that I have to do something about, or I will never be truly happy. So hooray for that.

Also, I thought for sure I was in hell, and I went insane. I figured there was no going back. 4am I'm sitting in the middle of my bed with a towel on my head and a plastic strip hanging from my mouth and my hand up in the air swirling round and round, and I'm saying "weeeeeeee". I for sure lost it. I thought that "this is what happened to Syd Barret, or thompson!" I've lost my damn marbles forever, I will never be myself again. And knowing that, was the scariest shit ever.

This realization of going mad then put me in hell. I felt like THIS was hell, always in a state of craziness and confused like mental state. I felt I was in this state of mind for too long, and it would never end. Hell my friend, is not fun.

The best part though of this night, was all of a sudden, after laying down in this hell state, I clicked off and realized, I'm fine! I looked out my window, and the sun was just coming up! Like seriously one second I was in hell, and then the next I was back to myself. It was a CRAZY fast switch but it instantly made me realize that I'm gonna be ok hehe.

So there is my crazy 3.5 gram mushroom trip report, these must be some DAMN good fucking golden teachers lol.
 
SWIM had a suprisingly similar experience, though not that intense, on his first shroom trip.

He ate 3.5g and for and after coming up there was a good hour and a half of ridiculous giddyness and confusing stuff. Not that visual, just things looking wavy.

Then having not been familiar with trips at all he started to come down and he assumed since the visuals stopped he was sober and tried to sleep, but his mind kept chattering and chattering random words that meant nothing. Everything felt like it was coming at him and there was no stop in sight. He then went to his computer and put a funny movie on that made his mind concentrate on something else until he got to sleep.

It was really one of his top hardest trips, but the work hard can mean 2 things: hard in intensity, hard as in difficult.

In difficulty it was top 2 or 3 ever.

In intensity, not very :p SWIM was a newbie back then.


Anyway, SWIM feels you and his next trip on the same 3.5g was AWESOME the whole way through, added a little confidence from the wonderful 1 tab LSD he had under his belt.
 
After SWIM started smoking spice at the peak of acid trips, every so often she would hear voices saying "Oh my god, what did she do," "You really fucked it up this time," "How could you leave us like this," as she returned from hyperspace. She found it really unsettling, but thinks the set/setting had a lot to do with it. As you mentioned, things in her life she had ignored that were starting to catch up.
 
DreamWaves said:
Imagine seeing 2 kinds of people. ALL the people who keep saying "You need help, those things will make you crazy, you should go to church, god loves you, etc", and US people who say "Belief systems are childlish, these things will help open your mind to more understanding, it's all about love, you're doing the right thing".

For what seemed like infinity I thought for sure that I was all wrong and the church people were right. I should have just listened but I didn't! And this, is what made me go crazy. I had both sides tearing at me, and all I can think was "My god, I was wrong this entire time!"
Click to expand...

Who says the two (belief systems and psychedelics usage) are mutually exclusive?

elphologist
 
q21q21 said:
SWIM had a suprisingly similar experience, though not that intense, on his first shroom trip.

He ate 3.5g and for and after coming up there was a good hour and a half of ridiculous giddyness and confusing stuff. Not that visual, just things looking wavy.

Then having not been familiar with trips at all he started to come down and he assumed since the visuals stopped he was sober and tried to sleep, but his mind kept chattering and chattering random words that meant nothing. Everything felt like it was coming at him and there was no stop in sight. He then went to his computer and put a funny movie on that made his mind concentrate on something else until he got to sleep..
Click to expand...

Hahahaha my first trip was just like that :)
I had a very intense trip but very good with OEV and I had a excellent trip. Then when the visuals were over and I thought the trip was over I was going to sleep 'cause I had to wake up for school the next day. Then my mind was just fuckt and looping in some bullshit and I thought I had damaged something in my brain for good :p
I was in bead for probably 2-3 hours in some nightmarish thought loop until I finally fell asleep. And woke up feeling just fine the next day of course. :)
I didn't know shit about shrooms before that trip but that was 15-16 years ago.
 
Good to see you learned from it. I experienced a somewhat similar loop on one of my earlier acid trips. Loops can be difficult to shake, it helps a lot to talk yourself through them. the fear of "loosing ones shit" and going crazy can itself be the road to insanity.
 
DreamWaves said:
Hmmm, what do you mean? Explain to me so I might be able to make sense of that.
Click to expand...

I'm just saying, the original post gave the impression that one is either religious or uses psychedelics. If you believe in God then you must not take psychedelics. If you take psychedelics, then you must be a lot different from people who go to church. This is not the case. I know of someone who regularly uses psychedelics, yet believes in God and attends church. Granted, he is far from a fundamentalist, but he does believe in God, and regularly attend church.
 
DreamWaves said:
This realization of going mad then put me in hell. I felt like THIS was hell, always in a state of craziness and confused like mental state. I felt I was in this state of mind for too long, and it would never end. Hell my friend, is not fun.

The best part though of this night, was all of a sudden, after laying down in this hell state, I clicked off and realized, I'm fine! I looked out my window, and the sun was just coming up! Like seriously one second I was in hell, and then the next I was back to myself. It was a CRAZY fast switch but it instantly made me realize that I'm gonna be ok hehe.
Click to expand...

I had a very similar experience about 2 years ago after eating some extremely strong chocolates. I was in a complete world of make believe. I saw a cat, and the most I could make out of the cat was that is was pure fractals, in the shape of a cat. I literally could not make out any specific features of the cat, it was like a fractalized painting of a cat. I then began into the "OMG, you fucked it up this time, you have no idea how strong those chocolates were (swim got them from someone else who haden't tried them either) and you chowed them down like candy! For all you know you ate 10 doses worth! What were you thinking? You might never come back from this!" Those were my thoughts, and I was terrified and worried that I had lost it forever. I could hear the news stories, and my friends and family talking about "how I went insane". I remember thinking, fuck, I can NOT function in this condition on a day to day basis! I'm going to have to be institutionalized! It just kept getting scarier. Then the next thing I knew (literally, like 20 minutes later) I was basically stone cold sober, and considering another dose! How fucked up eh?

Strange things those mushrooms! :p

Peace,
-idt
 
Hey man that sounds pretty intense....growing your own certainly makes for a different experience..but I'm sure as you consume more you will get the lay of the land, a feel for them if you will.
all things within time
 
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