Nisroch
Rising Star
Last night I made a massive breakthrough. I think I've really done something. Maybe I'm going crazy, but it just makes too much sense. There is a logic I can't deny. I've been interested in entheogens for a long time. I've been experimenting with my conscience for a long time. I've used a huge collection of substances. I've worked through a lot. I've figured out a lot. I've never had a strong visual experiance. I've never lost track of the physical plane. It's always been a thought process ,or a slight visual distortion ,or something of that nature. Last night I did something. Me and a friend took some M and mush. I've done this a few times , and I've had great experiances. This time it was very similar to every other times. At the start we were looking up stuff on my computer. I was pretty messed up. I was trying to gather myself into a state in wich I could type. As I did this I was contacted by something. As I layed my arms before me over my keyboard I was transported to a void. It was like an interface. Like a omnipresent msn window to the millionth power. In this spance I mannifested my mind into a matrix of pure language. A patern of symbol, color and shape. I could see myself think. In this matrix I was contacted by an entity. It had a femine feel. She was beutiful. She was hot. She was pure intelligance. She had a sexy quality that was beyond physical beauty. I was turned on by it's pure intelligance; as wierd as that sounds.As this happened I just knew this this was how this was done. Like i just learned a new communication technique. We kinda just explored each other. She was made manifest by the same language matrix I was. Her being interfaced with myne. We danced in a joyous communion. I feel like somthing was changed in my mind. This whole day I've felt smarter. I've felt more clear, and grounded. I feel like I got an upgrade. At some point I thought this feels so much like dmt. It had such a similir quality. I thought: I need to do this with dmt. I didn't want to leave her. She knew this, and said in a very sexy way: you can do this again. I will be waiting. I woke up from my trance. I was rushing around trying to get my friend to help me with a hit of dmt. Now keep in mind my friend is messed too. I just dissapeared into a trance over my key board. My buddy is pretty worried. When i saw his worrie I felt for him. He`s messed up and I`ve just ditched him into a trance with no explenation. I felt I should explaine what happened. As i explained i decieded i should do it again so i could describe it as i did it. After awile of conversation about the experiance and life in general I began to channel a biblical personification of god. I went in and out of it. I could turn it on and off, but i couldn`t control what it would do. I had 3 personalitys: the light/dark side of god and myself. It was so out side myself. I've never done anything like it. I scared the shit out of my friends. I had a inhuman voice. The night wore on and it went away. No one got hurt. I was in some sort of control of the situation. I don't know what to think about it all. I've been reading Cosmic Trigger by Robert Antone Willson. Maybe it got my imagination going. I don't know, but it was so out of charater. It was so real. I haven't explained it all but i've made logical sence of it all. I feel like i'm learning to do something.
