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Kartikay's first steps

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Kartikay

Kartikay

Rising Star
Here is my report. A couple notes first. I do not have a mg scale. I am eyeballing the size, for now. I speak my intention before each journey, to give it a little more reality than just thinking it.

Journey #1
Time: 1300
Dose: ??? very little
Method: Freebase. Wooden Vapor Genie. 5 screens to absorb any melt.

Physical environment: Sun-lit bedroom. Very clean. Sentimental objects from my lifetime are within view, giving me support. My throne is a giant beanbag chair known as the LoveSac. Google it. It is extraordinarily comfortable.

Mental state: Very nervous, but determined. My anxiety has led to a decision that this first attempt will be a very small amount, albeit eyeballed.

Intention: When I was a child, I made a promise to myself that I would explore the great questions of life until I found satisfying answers. These questions total 4. What are we? Where do we come from? What should our purpose here be? Where do we go when we die? At the time, I thought this could be achieved simply through philosophy; I thought that the answer could be found through pen and paper. Over time I was drawn away from philosophy and towards science, but not altogether abandoning the core of philosophy: logic and reason. While science, I believe, will ultimately discover these answers and be able to apply them to pen and paper, the present state of science is only now seriously considering the concept of Consciousness. I fear that they will not reach a thorough understanding during my lifetime. Even if they do, I now believe that Experience is necessary to fully understand the answer to these questions. Language is not strong enough to convey the complexity, nor the simplicity. Scientific studies, and childish young-adult ventures into psychedelics, have led me to DMT. DMT holds the answers. That is my strongest belief. It is my religion. DMT is a sacrament in every sense of the word.
Unfortunately, I am frightened. I know the chaos behind similar substances due to experience. I also know the sweet beauty of understanding that they provide. My anxiety has forced me to first seek a very sub-breakthrough experience. This will give me experience-based knowledge as to what the initial steps feel like. Hopefully, because of my extensive research and previous experience, I will be able to navigate and even enjoy these first steps. If not, I will at least have a better understanding and hopefully will retain the courage to proceed. Either way, experience-based knowledge will be gained.

The Experience: I applied constant flame and inhaled into the VG. I hold in the smoke for a mediocre amount of time and exhale. My heart rate is abnormally fast, due to my anxiety. I set the VG and lighter down and lean back, closing my eyes.
Nothing. I feel no different. I wait for 5 full minutes. Nothing. No visual distortion open-eyed. No closed-eye visuals. Colors are not even brighter than normal. Mentally, nothing has changed.

Conclusion: I used far too little spice.


Journey #2
Time: 1315
Dose: ??? little. About twice to 3 times as much as Journey #1
Method: Freebase. Wooden Vapor Genie. 5 screens to absorb any melt.

Physical environment: Sun-lit bedroom. Very clean. Sentimental objects from my lifetime are within view, giving me support. My throne is a giant beanbag chair known as the LoveSac.

Mental state: Still nervous, but less-so. Frustrated with Journey #1. Determined to achieve SOME progress.

Intention: I still wish to achieve a low-to-moderate experience. I wish to understand the first steps in order to ease my anxiety of going deeper.

The Experience: I breath in slower than before. Constant flame. My lungs feel a bit more foreign substance enter, this time. I breath in almost all the way. Remove lips from pipe. Suck in air the rest of the way. I set the pipe and lighter down. I know something will happen this time because my lungs can feel the substance.
There are bodily effects. A fuzzy feeling, slightly warm over my whole body. As soon as I feel this I exhale. I close my eyes. I lean back. The feeling distracts me from my body. Feeling is no longer bodily; it is simply feeling and nothing more. I stare behind my eyelids. The visuals from the light in my room when I closed my eyes stay around longer than normal. There is not really a repeating pattern, but there is something. Very distant wallpaper of fingerprint-like texture; there are lines that follow the flow of an invisible pattern. This stays for a minute or so, maybe longer. The feelings fade. I notice my fingers again, and then my body.

Conclusion: This is what I was hoping for, during this journey. It has eased my anxiety. It was not a cruel teacher, as salvia is for me. I did not feel uncomfortable; quite the opposite. The feeling was mildly soothing. It was easy to forget my body and focus on the journey.


Waiting an hour or so... then will update with my third journey. More this time.
 
Ive been following your progress Kartikay, because i find it humbling. I hope you have success and im sure you will.
Its worth mentioning, if you want a succesful launch it is worth holding in the vapor for a bit longer then i feel you might be doing so now.

At 20mg you can have a good taster session without fear of going overboard. So i would say try the same dose but holding it for longer, before increasing the dose.

If you blow it out early then that can be somewhat wastefull. It takes about 15-20 seconds for the vapor to be fully taken into the body in my experience.

Peace and Gratitude!
 
Journey #3
Time: 1430
Dose: ??? About 1.5-2 times as much as Journey #2. Next journey I will take a picture first, in hopes of input from Nexians.
Method: Freebase. Wooden Vapor Genie. 5 screens to absorb any melt.

Physical environment: Sun-lit bedroom. Very clean. Sentimental objects from my lifetime are within view, giving me support. My throne is a giant beanbag chair known as the LoveSac.

Mental state: Less nervous. Very respectful. Excited.

Intention: I would like to make it to the closed-eye visual-patterns level. I hope that my experience helps me to understand Consciousness, or more specifically the question of "What are we?"

The Experience: Single breath of inhalation. More substance is inhaled this time. My lungs show first signs of protest, but man up and continue on. I consider a second breath, but decide just to hold my current one. I hold my breath for as long as I can.

Bodily effects like last time begin. They ease me into the journey. Very fuzzy. I set the pipe and lighter down, close my eyes and lean back.

There are visuals! They are fainter than I had hoped, and I realize that this is due to the light in the room. These visuals are rather intricate. They are wavy, 3-dimensional patterns. Some seem like DNA, but wider and with thinner ladder-steps than in common computer picture-replications. The ladder-steps have depth as well. That are like wide rectangles. Every pattern is made of lines, connecting and rotating to form 3-dimensional creations. I can't so much move through them, but I can look around. They are colorful, but their color is dimmed because of the red background of my eyelid.

I still feel myself breathing and sometimes a small body-sign. It is distracting, but only minor. I had hoped not to notice even this.

I have thoughts, similar to the way I am dictating this report. I comment to myself on what I see. I mentally remark on the annoyance of still having a body. I comment on the complexity of the patterns. I wish that I could see the patterns better. While I do not bother thinking about reality, I still note that my next journey must be in darkness. Light is a distraction, at least for this stage of the experience.

The feelings and visuals become harder to see and feel. I open my eyes. I notice a towel in my room and how the patterns on it are sprayed across the color divisions. It has more significance than usual. I look out the window. Blue sky with a single branch across my view. The branch seems sacred. I wonder why it seems sacred. I realize that if we remove everything else except for what we are focusing on, it becomes sacred. All expectations and distractions aside, the Focus, whether it is a branch out my window or a piece of artwork or a goal in life, it becomes sacred and almost divine. Or possibly divine.

Conclusion: I again got what I had hoped to achieve. The visual pattern-land behind closed eyes. I had a profound thought at the end of the journey, while looking out my window. This thought can be applied to my life, and actually seems very relevant to what I need at present. My next journey will have to be in darkness. Light makes it much more difficult to see the visuals. I can't look past the visuals and into the breakthrough if I can't first even forget about my eyelids. My next journey will be tonight, roommate-permitting.
 
How exciting. I think the dose needs upped but It is also wise to take it as slow as you need to.
Congrats Karikay I am happy for you brave explorer of the infinite.
 
Very good reporting kartikay.

Kartikay said:
I look out the window. Blue sky with a single branch across my view. The branch seems sacred. I wonder why it seems sacred. I realize that if we remove everything else except for what we are focusing on, it becomes sacred. All expectations and distractions aside, the Focus, whether it is a branch out my window or a piece of artwork or a goal in life, it becomes sacred and almost divine. Or possibly divine.
Click to expand...

I like this. 😉 I know that focus.
 
Kartikay said:
I notice a towel in my room and how the patterns on it are sprayed across the color divisions. It has more significance than usual. I look out the window. Blue sky with a single branch across my view. The branch seems sacred. I wonder why it seems sacred. I realize that if we remove everything else except for what we are focusing on, it becomes sacred. All expectations and distractions aside, the Focus, whether it is a branch out my window or a piece of artwork or a goal in life, it becomes sacred and almost divine. Or possibly divine.
Click to expand...

Beautiful trip report Kartikay! One of my earliest spice journeys felt almost the same as what you describe. The trees outside my window sparkled with divine life. The world around me was aware of my witnessing it and the feeling of divinity was palpable all around me. You could say that when the observer is purified, the observed becomes divine.
 
Journey #4
Time: 2300
Dose: ??? I forgot to take a picture. A little more than Journey #3.
Method: Freebase. Wooden Vapor Genie. 5 screens to absorb any melt.

Physical environment: Dark bedroom. Very clean except for my roommate's dog's fur. Sentimental objects from my lifetime are nearby. My throne is a giant beanbag chair known as the LoveSac.

Mental state: Extremely nervous. Very respectful. Determined.

Intention: I would like to make it to the closed-eye visual-patterns level and beyond if possible. I want this journey to give me knowledge that will help me understand if my current beliefs about life's big questions are correct. My current beliefs are most closely related to the Hindu concept of Brahman and Atman: we are all one, single consciousness, but we are divided by awareness.

The Experience: Single breath, like my other journeys. I lean back and close my eyes, wait and breathe out after 20 or 30 seconds.

This is my first journey in a dark environment. The first things that I noticed were the visuals, rather than the fuzzy bodily sensation. But the fuzziness was there, too. The visuals were made of blocks, or small shapes. Some of the shapes were circular, some were square, but there were hundreds of them that made up my entire view. They formed moving patterns, but no recognizable symbol or anything.

I also saw the ethereal outlines of entities, behind the patterns. I am not going so far as to say that they were conscious entities, but just that they had the shape and movements of real people. I tried to identify them. What exactly were they? For the most part, there were only 1 or 2 present at a time. A masculine figure was to my left. A feminine figure sometimes appeared to my right. I felt they were parental at one moment. At another moment it seemed as if they were not parental, but rather doctors of a sort. They seemed to be examining me as a doctor would. But some moments they seemed to be trying to comfort me and show me love, like a parent.

At one point it felt like they may be probing my right eye. It was not painful. When I arrived back in reality, my right eye was watering.

At the peak, when these ethereal outlines were noticeable, I wondered what I would see if I opened my eyes. I felt like opening my eyes could be achieved, even if they were not my real eyes. The motion that would be required felt similar to opening my eyes like in reality. I decided not too, but strongly considered it. I was unsure if I would see my distorted room, or if I would be somewhere else entirely. I felt that I was not ready, should I be somewhere else. However, I had the feeling that opening my eyes could possibly produce a breakthrough. It might also shock me terribly... and so I decided not to.

The ethereal outlines faded. The patterns remained for a while. I started to have occasional thoughts of my body and my room. I noticed my breathing and body position. I was still nervous about opening my eyes. I waited until the effects of the sacrament had diminished very noticeably, and then a little longer, before finally opening them. My vision seemed to be made of distinct pixels, as you would see them on a lame TV.

Conclusion: It was interesting to see at least the outline of entities. I had no real revelation or profound thoughts, aside from existing outside normal reality for a bit (which is tremendously profound in and of itself). The journey was very easy. The anxiety that I felt upon entering was completely unnecessary. By going deeper, and still not having a frightening experience, I do not feel that I will have nearly the nervousness during my next journey. Overcoming that fear is useful, and will make me less hesitant to try a full breakthrough amount.


I still wonder what would have happened if I had opened my eyes...
 
Only one way to find out mate. I always find the room is still there but its not same as the room you left. :)
I enjoy reading your posts.
 
Big Inhale said:
The format of your trip reoprt is awesome. That should be how all are written. Very organized and easy to read.
Click to expand...

I second this, thanks for taking the time to share your experience with us. It's a wonderful template for beginners to connect with :)
 
Great report's man. Keep up the organized format, it makes things so much easier. I might do the same. I love how you're approaching the dmt as well, very professional and respectful. I can't wait till you go farther, I wonder if it'll be like my recent experience.
 
Kartikay - Lovely reports. I commend your cautious, disciplined approach. Few people have that kind of restraint, and I personally believe it is wise virtuous. It sounds like you are making great progress, and I can't wait to hear about your first breakthrough. Like you, I have difficulty when there is bright light in the room. My preferred hours are in the very early morning ours (1:00am - 3:00am), when the chaos of the world is dark and calm. It allows me to create the proper set for myself.

I would like to ask you a question about your technique with your VG. I know you have 5 screens in it, but are you also putting an inert (or mildly inert) herb or herb blend in there as well? If you just put the spice freebase directly on the screen, you are likely to lose a lot of the dose due to it melting, and dripping through the screens (even with 5 screens). If you aren't doing this already, try using the sandwich method on top of your 5 screens... Herbal base, spice, herbal topping... And then vaporize it. This will preserve any drippings of melted spice before it runs through the screens. This method will result in a much larger intake of the measured or eyeballed goodness. If you're already doing this, then never mind this comment.

If you are not doing this, there is likely a moderate - large amount of spice oil at the base of your VG that hasn't been vaped. You can still vape this spice oil at the bottom by just doing a "dry vape" technique. It may take a little longer, but eventually will get that oil to a vape temp.

Regardless, great reports again. I always enjoy reading your posts. Keep it up and keep us posted!

Peace!
-idt
 
Nice Report and I can relate entirely to your caution/reluctance.
The spice is so powerful. I have not broken through myself as of yet but the first 3 stages of DMT are strange and wonderful/ineffable enough LOL.
I am only now getting to the point that my heart doesn't race at the thought of hitting the spice.
Indeed the fear has been the strangest thing to me as DMT should be all that I have ever been looking for and while never having anything scary or bad happen often have to kinda push myself to enter the DMT sensorium.
WHile I have done big quick hits before and had success I have also lightly hit the pipe to just accept and familiarize the feel of it coming on. Taking sub-visual doses and just feeling a little body load to doing the same then next day until I felt I was just about to slip into the first stage visuals. Took one last little toke and was amazed at how far I got on such a little amount of smoke. Just as things were getting to their strangest and weirdest point I saw a feminine face in the folds and undulations of whatever I was seeing. Thanked the DMT for letting me come in and familiarize myself as I wanted to get to know it better and felt that all was good.

Love that fit of yawning and general all around good feeling when the trip portion ends. Always so strange how the trip ends like someone blew out a candle. So Sudden.

Thanks for Sharing Kartikay! I hope to hear more of your experiences and will get around to trying to formulate my thoughts and post a few of my own.
 
Thanks for the advice, idtravlr. I'll stick an herb in there on this next go-around. Maybe that's why I haven't broken through yet.
 
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