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Salut Laure,

T'apprends vite pour quelqu'un qui connais pas les "forums"! Moi non plus je me compte pas amateur de forum - le nexus est mon premier et a date le seule aussi!

I will do my best to help you out. I can also post this in the thread as well - it will help keep it active. let me know if you want me too.
So here is yours, copied and pasted:

Page 5,
Better to start
with poison your own
than all the laurels of your
friends or dreams —
the first settles accounts,
the latter compounds note

Mieux vaut pour commencer
compter sur ton poison
Que sur tous les lauriers
des amis, ou des rêves –
L'un peut régler tes dettes/le premier règle de comptes
Les autres mijotent l'addition/quand les seconds prennent notes

I'll just take a quick crack at it myself - take what you want from it!

Mieux vaut commencer
avec ton propre poison
Que sur tous les lauriers
d'amis ou de rêves –
le premier règle les comptes
le dernier complique les notes (ou billets, voir en bas)

"Notes" i take to mean: bank notes (settling accounts/debt), possibly musical notes, and even less possibly, but still worth considering, written notes. keeping the word "notes" conserves the full meaning, but I am not sure if it is only in Quebec that "les notes" for paper money is current. Ohterwise billets is appropriate, but sounds a little more awkward and doesn't conserve all the possible interpretations or the cadence. Compromises!Wink

Page 19, §4
In the lunar realm, sulphur moistens, genitals engorge. The poisonous sulphur struggles with its own inertia. Corporeally, the body lusts.
But the static tendency is more like a Pythagorean dodecahedron than like, say, a pencil or any mineral crystal, or any piece of living flesh.

Dans le royaume lunaire, le soufre se fait humide, les organes génitaux s’engorgent : le soufre vénéneux lutte contre sa propre inertie. Physiquement, le corps se prend à désirer. Mais disons que la tendance homéostatique est plus au dodécaèdre pythagoricien qu'au crayon ou au cristal minéral, ou à n’importe quelle part de chair vivante.

And mine:

Dans le royaume lunaire, le soufre s'humidifie, les génitaux s’engorgent : le soufre vénéneux lutte contre sa propre inertie. Corporellement (sp??), le chair désire. Mais la tendance statique est plus au dodécaèdre pythagoricien qu'au crayon ou au cristal minéral, ou à part de chair vivante quelconque.

I know genitaux (sorry no accents on this computer...) is not a perfect translation, but dropping organes maintains the rhythm and remains clear, I believe. You're the expert, though - you'll have to decide on your end, as a native francophone, if this, and other minor changes and dropped words, makes sense. To me, unless there are errors it seems clearer cadence and meaning wise. And why change static to homéostatique? Statique is acceptable, no? or does it refer only to static electricity? How about CONSTANT, FIXE, IMMOBILE, STAGNANT, ADAMANT (to evoke crystals as well).

Hope this helps!!!

JBArk

<blockquote data-quote="jbark" data-source="post: 3369967" data-attributes="member: 4518">Salut Laure,T&#039;apprends vite pour quelqu&#039;un qui connais pas les &quot;forums&quot;! Moi non plus je me compte pas amateur de forum - le nexus est mon premier et a date le seule aussi!I will do my best to help you out. I can also post this in the thread as well - it will help keep it active. let me know if you want me too.So here is yours, copied and pasted:Page 5,Better to startwith poison your ownthan all the laurels of yourfriends or dreams —the first settles accounts,the latter compounds noteMieux vaut pour commencercompter sur ton poisonQue sur tous les lauriersdes amis, ou des rêves –L&#039;un peut régler tes dettes/le premier règle de comptesLes autres mijotent l&#039;addition/quand les seconds prennent notesI&#039;ll just take a quick crack at it myself - take what you want from it!Mieux vaut commenceravec ton propre poisonQue sur tous les lauriersd&#039;amis ou de rêves –le premier règle les comptesle dernier complique les notes (ou billets, voir en bas)&quot;Notes&quot; i take to mean: bank notes (settling accounts/debt), possibly musical notes, and even less possibly, but still worth considering, written notes. keeping the word &quot;notes&quot; conserves the full meaning, but I am not sure if it is only in Quebec that &quot;les notes&quot; for paper money is current. Ohterwise billets is appropriate, but sounds a little more awkward and doesn&#039;t conserve all the possible interpretations or the cadence. Compromises!WinkPage 19, §4In the lunar realm, sulphur moistens, genitals engorge. The poisonous sulphur struggles with its own inertia. Corporeally, the body lusts.But the static tendency is more like a Pythagorean dodecahedron than like, say, a pencil or any mineral crystal, or any piece of living flesh.Dans le royaume lunaire, le soufre se fait humide, les organes génitaux s’engorgent : le soufre vénéneux lutte contre sa propre inertie. Physiquement, le corps se prend à désirer. Mais disons que la tendance homéostatique est plus au dodécaèdre pythagoricien qu&#039;au crayon ou au cristal minéral, ou à n’importe quelle part de chair vivante.And mine:Dans le royaume lunaire, le soufre s&#039;humidifie, les génitaux s’engorgent : le soufre vénéneux lutte contre sa propre inertie. Corporellement (sp??), le chair désire. Mais la tendance statique est plus au dodécaèdre pythagoricien qu&#039;au crayon ou au cristal minéral, ou à part de chair vivante quelconque.I know genitaux (sorry no accents on this computer...) is not a perfect translation, but dropping organes maintains the rhythm and remains clear, I believe. You&#039;re the expert, though - you&#039;ll have to decide on your end, as a native francophone, if this, and other minor changes and dropped words, makes sense. To me, unless there are errors<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />&nbsp; it seems clearer cadence and meaning wise. And why change static to homéostatique? Statique is acceptable, no? or does it refer only to static electricity? How about CONSTANT, FIXE, IMMOBILE, STAGNANT, ADAMANT (to evoke crystals as well).Hope this helps!!!JBArk</blockquote>

[QUOTE="jbark, post: 3369967, member: 4518"] Salut Laure, T'apprends vite pour quelqu'un qui connais pas les "forums"! Moi non plus je me compte pas amateur de forum - le nexus est mon premier et a date le seule aussi! I will do my best to help you out. I can also post this in the thread as well - it will help keep it active. let me know if you want me too. So here is yours, copied and pasted: Page 5, Better to start with poison your own than all the laurels of your friends or dreams — the first settles accounts, the latter compounds note Mieux vaut pour commencer compter sur ton poison Que sur tous les lauriers des amis, ou des rêves – L'un peut régler tes dettes/le premier règle de comptes Les autres mijotent l'addition/quand les seconds prennent notes I'll just take a quick crack at it myself - take what you want from it! Mieux vaut commencer avec ton propre poison Que sur tous les lauriers d'amis ou de rêves – le premier règle les comptes le dernier complique les notes (ou billets, voir en bas) "Notes" i take to mean: bank notes (settling accounts/debt), possibly musical notes, and even less possibly, but still worth considering, written notes. keeping the word "notes" conserves the full meaning, but I am not sure if it is only in Quebec that "les notes" for paper money is current. Ohterwise billets is appropriate, but sounds a little more awkward and doesn't conserve all the possible interpretations or the cadence. Compromises!Wink Page 19, §4 In the lunar realm, sulphur moistens, genitals engorge. The poisonous sulphur struggles with its own inertia. Corporeally, the body lusts. But the static tendency is more like a Pythagorean dodecahedron than like, say, a pencil or any mineral crystal, or any piece of living flesh. Dans le royaume lunaire, le soufre se fait humide, les organes génitaux s’engorgent : le soufre vénéneux lutte contre sa propre inertie. Physiquement, le corps se prend à désirer. Mais disons que la tendance homéostatique est plus au dodécaèdre pythagoricien qu'au crayon ou au cristal minéral, ou à n’importe quelle part de chair vivante. And mine: Dans le royaume lunaire, le soufre s'humidifie, les génitaux s’engorgent : le soufre vénéneux lutte contre sa propre inertie. Corporellement (sp??), le chair désire. Mais la tendance statique est plus au dodécaèdre pythagoricien qu'au crayon ou au cristal minéral, ou à part de chair vivante quelconque. I know genitaux (sorry no accents on this computer...) is not a perfect translation, but dropping organes maintains the rhythm and remains clear, I believe. You're the expert, though - you'll have to decide on your end, as a native francophone, if this, and other minor changes and dropped words, makes sense. To me, unless there are errors:) it seems clearer cadence and meaning wise. And why change static to homéostatique? Statique is acceptable, no? or does it refer only to static electricity? How about CONSTANT, FIXE, IMMOBILE, STAGNANT, ADAMANT (to evoke crystals as well). Hope this helps!!! JBArk [/QUOTE]