• Members of the previous forum can retrieve their temporary password here, (login and check your PM).

knock knock...

Migrated topic.
bub

bub

Rising Star
...I come in peace with an open mind and a happy smile.

Greetings all, I'm bub a long time traveller on the path with a heart.

I've a willingness to learn, share my knowledge and experience and expand my mind for the good of all.

Just back from the Amazon. Please kick off you boots, pull up a chair and relax by the fire. I'd love to share this story...
 
I'd like to post an fictitious essay about a recent experience I heard from deep in the jungle.

Respect is made for the the privacy of the sacred place and also for people invlolved so no names have been mentioned. The essay was written from notes made at the time and also during the weeks after. I do feel a large part of the experience could still remain deep in the subconscious.

I hope you find it interesting.

Regards,

Bub

ON THE DECK

The jungle outside is already alive with the sounds of the night. Fireflies flicker softly through the green mesh of our semi-mosquito proof walls.

We rock back and forth in Indian silk hammocks suspended from the beams of our beautifully constructed mahogany, jungle canopy star ship. A solid psytrance bass line throbs from a wireless Jambox speaker on the table and expensive sounding chords tingle through our cortex, already saturated by a healthy pre-dose of Austria liquid harmine.
Relaxed but anxious we glance at each other across the room not knowing how the night will unfold.

We are a family; brothers who have know each other for a million years enlisted from the school of living life to the full. Each of us travelling our own separate paths but uniting at set points of time to continue the most important part of our life journey together.

Footsteps sound on the wooden steps outside, our host appears barefooted at the door and promptly announces the shaman has arrived. The time has come.

Our host sits cross legged on the floor speaks in a soft low voice about what will happen during the ayahuasca ceremony. He explains our plant medicine will be a Chacruna a Psychotria Viridis based ayahuasca known as ayahusca cielo or sky ayahuasca. He tells us the spirit is gentle nature but still a very powerful healing medicine. Wambisa would also be available for later in the ceremony if anyone felt they needed an extra cup.

It was explained we may feel like we are dying and reborn but not to panic and try to enjoy the experience. We learn about our shaman, a local Shipibo who started his apprenticeship at the age of 14 and has work with plant medicine for over 40 years.
Our shaman will guide us through Icaros and at a certain point in the ceremony invite us next to him for a personal healing.

Our guide asks each one of us if we carry anything important we would like to take into the ceremony.

I reach into my pocket and unfolded a damp sheet of paper my young daughter had drawn for me just before I left. It is a multi-coloured mermaid with flowing hair drawn with loving care using scratchy felt tip pens. It was a bizarre coincidence she had drawn it as our host explains mermaid are revered to be very lucky by the local shaman. This pleased me and somewhat settled my shot nerves.

My son and I had arrived in the jungle only 4 hours previous. We were tired, having travelling for 2 1/2 days on international flights with long delays. Our journey didn’t end at the airport. We travelled for hours on dusty, spine bashing, unfinished roads and jungle river boats to reach the sacred location. I was feeling slightly drained. To top this, my diet for the last few days had been airport junk food - cheese sandwiches, cheese topped pizza, cheese omelette a handful of Peruvian chocolates. Most certainly not the best diet for a ceremony.

After a brief chat we prepare ourselves, collect our thoughts and head out of the door and down the steps to the hexagonal shaped room beneath our tree top dwelling.

We enter the room which is dimly lit by a flickering candle in the centre of the room. A woody, slightly citrus smell of burning Sandalwood calms our senses.

From the back of the room I can just make out the features of a few people. A man in his 60’s a younger man step forward. We are greeted by the shaman and his apprentice.

Our host introduces each one of us and we were greeted by a warm hand shake and a hug.
The shaman is his 60's with gentle features, deep brown eyes and a face engrained with pure wisdom and knowledge.

Mats are spread out around the perimeter of the room with about two thirds of the mat on the floor and a third leaning against the wooden walls. Beside each mat is a plastic bucket.

We sit in a circle around the perimeter of the room I took my place to the left of the shaman. My son took the mat beside me.

There are eight of us in total along with our guest, shaman and apprentice who sit on a large pile of mats at the back of the room facing the door.

Mapacho tobacco is passed around and I roll a cigarette.

Our host welcomes us all and explains he would clear the energy in the room and protect us with a tobacco ceremony.

He lights a mapacho cigarette and walks towards one side of the room. Smoke is inhaled and exhaled sharply out of the mosquito netting into the surrounding jungle. He does this on all sides of the maloka until finally standing in the centre of the room. Smoke is blown up and then down to the ground which is finally touched with his finger.

Our host takes his position and reaches for two plastic bags from which he removes bottle of around 1 litre contained a deep brown liquid.

He then hands us over to the shaman. The shaman speaks in a deep low, Spanish voice which fills the room. His voice has a warm and friendly tone that reassures me. He introduces himself and apprentice and speaks about the ceremony. He tells us we can sing, dance and laugh but, we mustn’t scream… He wishes us all beautiful visions. Our host translates his speak for those of us who don’t speak Spanish.

Ayahuasca is poured into a cup by our host and my friend to the left of me is invited up to drink. He takes position in front of our host who hands him the cup. He sits and drinks slowly before returning to his mat.

My turn arrives I sit in front of our host with the shaman and apprentice to my right. The ayahuasca is poured into the cup. It is thick and oily. I am passed the cup and I pause before holding it to by lips. I can smell a bitter earthy scent. I drink the medicine down slowly and pass back the cup. I thank the host and shaman.

The ayahuasca didn't taste too bad. It was a thick consistency that clings to your mouth and tongue. It was bitter but at the same time has a subtle sweetness to it.

I sat cross legged for around 20 minutes on my mat. I occasionally sipped water and spat it into my bucket without swallowing as instructed. I felt quite clear headed and didn't notice any immediate effects.

The shaman starts to whistle and then sing an enchanting icaros. A mixture of Spanish and Quechua. As then words vibrate across the room, all of a sudden, directly in front of my something comes out of the jungle towards me and passes straight through the mosquito net walls. It moved at quite a speed. I've gone over this event many times in mind as it was such a profound, awe inspiring experience. It was an entity, a physical object, something real that moved towards me at a fast pace.

The shape moves into the room and passes straight through the central wooded pillar. It is multicoloured and travelled smoothly and silently directly to me. It stopped right in front of me about 4 feet above my head. It asked me what I wanted. I presumed it was english that I heard. The voice came from the object, not from inside me. I transferred words from my mind to this object “I want to be healed and I am seeking guidance.”

I don’t know whether I was forced back and voluntarily lay back on my mat. As I lay down the object moved and hovered above me. It then lowered down towards my body slightly.
The shape of the object was rectangular and reminded me of the wire interlocked frame that supports a mattress. It was about the size of a single bed.

The object was now crackling all over with a sort of electrical force that blipped and cracked like static. It was a stunning matrix of ultraviolet blues, greens, crimsons and yellows.

It hovered over me and started to scan my body.

to be continued...
 
Greetings Macre and thank you for the welome.

Hello Moondance and thank you also. I've got my underground ticket ready.
 
DIMENSION INTRUSION

The voltage of the object ramps up as it moved even closer to my body. I could now see bright white arcs of light interlaced between the main colours of the mesh like pattern.

I felt a light scribing scan up and down my body. It paused at various points and scanned harder, the electrical activity becoming super intense in places like my solar plexus. It was like an opto-electric surgical operation conducted by an entity I have never in my life seen before or even could have imagined. What I did know was, it was the ayahuasca.

The whole experience was such a quick sudden shock I felt uncomfortable and wasn’t sure in my mind if I trusted this. I put up a block to stop the object from entering my inner core.

I'd had enough and sat upright. As soon as I did the object disappeared. On contemplation of the event I know I should have let it in and do its work. I'd had asked to be healed. I felt slightly disappointed. Maybe the next series of events wouldn’t have happened if I had accepted and not fought against it.

I look around the room and my vision is quite clear any without any psychedelic nuances. I hear singing; the words deepen in tone and quiver and quaver into a sub harmonic tone that resonates inside of me. I feel the words emanate from inside me.

I’m drawn towards the centre pillar of the room. I stand up and shuffle forwards until my hand feels the hard mahogany pillar. I look over and try to see the shaman through the inky blackness of the room. I sense his presence and actually feel a warm from his body I but cannot see him. I feel energy radiating from him. I feel compelled to vocalise the words that are inside me and start to feebly try and copy them. The host comes over instructs me to go back to my mat. After the ceremony I did feel quite rude in standing up singling whilst the shaman was but I honestly couldn’t help it.

I now realised the ayahuasca has taken full effect. I felt a little wonky and unsteady. I tried to get comfortable on the mat but just shuffled around. I felt feverish. My thoughts drifted and I start to think about mosquitoes and malaria. I hadn’t taken any form of anti-malaria medication and had already been bitten numerous times. I feel uneasy and paranoid. My forehead was chilled with a cold sweat.

I looked across the room and could now see my host sat right beside the shaman. They were both looking at me. My mind was trapped in what I felt to be a malaria induced fever. I feel the shaman noticed this.

As I looked over I saw a bluish triangle with quite acute bottoms angles at head level just in front of my host and the shaman. The triangle was just a blue outline outline surrounded by fuzzy fluorescent green. It hovered in the air like a holograph.

The triangle turned in to a badge like emblem. My eyes were fixed on it all the time. In the back of my mind I was still thinking about mosquitoes. As I shifted my thoughts from mosquitoes to the triangle a logo formed in the middle of the triangle. In an instant the triangle shot towards me and entered me. I felt a strange relief as my body absorbed the logo and I instantaneously realised I was free from any negative thoughts of mosquitoes or malaria.

I lay back again on my mat and closed my eyes. The shaman was singing a different icaros this time that felt sad. The tone of the notes had darkened and it was much more solemn.
My thoughts started cascading and I felt time was looping. My visions followed the dark theme of the icaros and my mind started playing a slideshow of morbid images.

Whore, rentboy, gravestone, abortion, bucket, conquistador, ship, Spanish flag, the bell tolls, mist, Vikings, Hades, death sails towards me the sadness and pain of the story has me writhing in agony on my mat, twisting and turning but never an exit point. The whole episode is relentless, heat seeking mental and physical torture.

I'm trapped in a molecule, resonating back and forth between poles of anguish and agony in a story that has no relationship to my life whatsoever or maybe it does?

I felt nauseas and try to vomit in the bucket but can only spit. The spit sticks to my lips and I have to flick it away with my hand. I try so hard to vomit the experience out but can’t. Each time I look into the bucket I think about my partner thousands of miles away pregnant with my child.

The icaros starts up again, whistling at first and then the words oh the words... die, die da da da die die. It goes round and round and rains down a toxic mind splitting bomb, its payload shattering any thoughts of any exit point. I turn and look at my mat for sanctuary, security I want to lie down and get away from this. As I look behind me the mat has turned into a marble white tombstone complete with fitting epitaph. No place to rest no place to hide.

I hear a high pitched metallic noise that slices through my body. I realised after, this was a Tibetan bowl or cymbal the shaman was using. It arrived at a significant point in my psychedelic drama and cut through the air like surgical steel at the point in my theatrical life where my umbilical is cut. I didn’t choose to lie down and die I have just been reborn.

The grave curdling melody loops and the bitter reality hits me hard, like a swinging 10 tonne church bell ringing a morbid tone - dawn has just broken once more on the sombre story of my life.

I realise I’m going to go through the whole story again, I can’t take this but the film loops and replays once more.

Words cannot describe the depth of sadness and despair when you realise it only the start of your life and you know what's coming. I'd ride the eschaton sitting on the handle bars peddling backwards but the f***err never gives me the chance to forget.

You know what’s coming and you have to live it out once more. Reincarnation into the lower realms, hungry ghosts and spokes of agony with time stretched barbs that rip and tear the soul.

The alternative, as I'm reminded is to die. I know I'm going to automatically turn round in 3 seconds and look at my own gravestone. But after a million years and a million lives I finally realise, I'm a fighter, a warrior and I lie down for no one.

I come to the realisation this is a film on repeat and the director is shaman sat opposite me. F**k this shit; I'm getting out of here. I summon the energy to stand up and feverishly head straight for the door. Curdles of sickness follow me but I’m out of here.
 
THE CHIMP HOUSE

I leave the ceremony room and I'm lead by my arm upstairs by someone from the room. I stumble up the steps. The wooden frame mosquito mesh door stubbornly pushes open. I feel it catch on the wooden floor. It's not easy to get in. I enter a very humid room. I have no shirt on and I feel a heavy sticky, sickly hot heat on my chest, shoulders and back. A strong smell hits my nostrils like a brick to the head. It's like heavy musky animal shit. I feel uneasy. Adrenaline kicks in. I can hear and feel things panting and moving around me. I survey my surroundings. I see big brown shapes moving to the side and above me. I'm in a f***ing chimp house, I can feel the f**ckers around me. I don't like this.

Mosquito, clouds of flying biting shit are all around me. They don’t land on me and they don't bite.

The room has mesh internal blinds coming down from the roof. I look around and smell damp hessian sacks and raw primate scents. I push the nets apart and even more mosquitoes are disturbed and fly around me. I feel them in my hair, brushing past my eyelids. The heat and insects make my eyes water. There are swarms of them.

I feel like I’m being watched from the outside, observed from a viewing gallery. I feel primal. Am I am in a zoo? I move with haste to the door. I can’t breathe in here anymore. I push and force my way outside.

It was heavy shit in the chimp house and I was glad to get out. Even the agony downstairs is better than this so I head back. The jungle air felt breezy and refreshing. The guy who helped me up the stairs was waiting outside. He asked me if I was ok. I verbalised a response and went back into the main ceremony room for the second round.
 
RESEARCH CHEMIST

I once again enter the ceremony room. I’m experiencing heavy hallucinations and have zero spatial awareness. I climb onto the mat nearest the door unaware if it’s already occupied.
The room feels darker than before and I can hear coughing and people vomiting. I feel an urge to be sick and grope around. I sense a bucket is under my face and I purge.

As I purge clarity comes over me. I feel people are around me, not in a physical way but on a higher level. These people are chemists, researchers. I feel they are watching me in a way that I’m part of a combined experiment.

I delve deeper into curdles of sickness, down into carbon chains, dodging molecular bonds and colliding with free radicals. I’m hunting for the part of ayahuasca that makes you sick. The entity chemists ask me to locate the sickness molecule. I keep hitting it right on the button. Each time I do I purge and I’m closer to the solution which is rewarding. A question appears in my mind. Do humans need the purging effect of ayahausca? I work through scenarios probing organic plant matter and lattice matrixes purging as I go. I’m out of control rolling on the mat my mind spinning and reeling. I lose parts of what happened next.

One of my brothers is beside me and asks if I ok. I feel someone close and realise our host is right in front of me crouched on the floor. He asks if I wish to have a personal healing from the shaman.

I follow him and I’m instructed to lie down on the mat beside the shaman.

I respect the sacredness of the healing the shaman gave me so would like to keep this part of the ceremony private. What I did do which was very wrong was to rudely sit up and leave the room again as the experience once again became too much for me.

I returned to our room upstairs my son following behind me.

A helper from the ceremony came in soon after and asked me to return back down stairs as the shaman was closing the ceremony. I was very reluctant too and voiced my opinion on this.

I did return downstairs but cannot remember the details. I still feel disrespectful about my attitude but I really wasn’t in a good frame of mind.

I was visually hallucinating for around three hours after the ceremony had finished. The hallucinations were not very nice. Deep dark red blotched themes and contorted shapes. I was certainly knocked about. In the days after the ceremony and right up to today I am still realising the important lessons it taught me and the healing it gave.

I didn’t get bitten buy any mosquitoes after the ceremony. I could sit outside next to my son in the jungle canopy and the mosquitoes were all over him. They stayed well away from me for the rest of my days in this beautiful country.

Three days after my first ceremony, I took part in another which was a beautiful life changing experience. I hope to share this with you.

With thanks, respect and love to all those who made the journey possible especially Mother Aya.

Thank you for reading this.

bub
 
Back
Top Bottom