RESEARCH CHEMIST

I once again enter the ceremony room. I’m experiencing heavy hallucinations and have zero spatial awareness. I climb onto the mat nearest the door unaware if it’s already occupied.

The room feels darker than before and I can hear coughing and people vomiting. I feel an urge to be sick and grope around. I sense a bucket is under my face and I purge.

As I purge clarity comes over me. I feel people are around me, not in a physical way but on a higher level. These people are chemists, researchers.  I feel they are watching me in a way that I’m part of a combined experiment.

I delve deeper into curdles of sickness, down into carbon chains, dodging molecular bonds and colliding with free radicals. I’m hunting for the part of ayahuasca that makes you sick. The entity chemists ask me to locate the sickness molecule. I keep hitting it right on the button. Each time I do I purge and I’m closer to the solution which is rewarding.  A question appears in my mind. Do humans need the purging effect of ayahausca? I work through scenarios probing organic plant matter and lattice matrixes purging as I go.  I’m out of control rolling on the mat my mind spinning and reeling. I lose parts of what happened next.

One of my brothers is beside me and asks if I ok.  I feel someone close and realise our host is right in front of me crouched on the floor. He asks if I wish to have a personal healing from the shaman.

I follow him and I’m instructed to lie down on the mat beside the shaman.

I respect the sacredness of the healing the shaman gave me so would like to keep this part of the ceremony private. What I did do which was very wrong was to rudely sit up and leave the room again as the experience once again became too much for me.

I returned to our room upstairs my son following behind me.

A helper from the ceremony came in soon after and asked me to return back down stairs as the shaman was closing the ceremony. I was very reluctant too and voiced my opinion on this.

I did return downstairs but cannot remember the details. I still feel disrespectful about my attitude but I really wasn’t in a good frame of mind.

I was visually hallucinating for around three hours after the ceremony had finished. The hallucinations were not very nice. Deep dark red blotched themes and contorted shapes. I was certainly knocked about. In the days after the ceremony and right up to today I am still realising the important lessons it taught me and the healing it gave.

I didn’t get bitten buy any mosquitoes after the ceremony. I could sit outside next to my son in the jungle canopy and the mosquitoes were all over him. They stayed well away from me for the rest of my days in this beautiful country.

Three days after my first ceremony, I took part in another which was a beautiful life changing experience. I hope to share this with you.

With thanks, respect and love to all those who made the journey possible especially Mother Aya.

Thank you for reading this.

bub