Propello said:
Hi Anonymous2!
No disrespect, but I do agree with Bill here. Perhaps you can elaborate on the reason why you deleted your first posts and introduction essay? And are your new posts going to stay?
I like your posts, but unsure if they will be deleted or not.
Your thoughts?
Much love.
Trust me, I found my empty posts annoying too. I wish I could delete the posts and the empty thread instead of deleting the content.
I’ve been using the internet for about 25 years. Yet, the only place I did such thing as deleting the content of two dozen posts is the Nexus.
Although my empty posts annoy me too (I have five planets in the Virgo zodiac, you can imagine), I thought the reason was easy to understand.
Some of my trips were the most intimate experiences in my life. Some of them were also earth-shaking. They changed my life in almost every department.
I could talk about my sexual life easier than about some of my trips. (No, I won’t talk about the former). It took me months to get used to what I saw and thought and felt. I’m taking mushrooms every second day to understand them better. Today, I will take them.
The craziest part wasn’t that what I saw during the trips, but what happened to me in my sober times.
I asked someone whom I didn’t know, but I considered relevant after I read his article:
by Dr David Luke All that glitters is not gold. Such a maxim might well serve any psychic voyager on a journey into the weirder realms that psychedelics can serve up. After all, out here on the edges there is seldom firm evidence that the beatific or hellish visions beheld whilst chemically...
www.dailygrail.com
He sent me long quotes from a book about shamanism. The quotes were about dragon-like creatures who ruled Earth. That was a period when my apartment got filled with dragon-skin patterns. I triple checked the emails I sent to Dr. Luke. I haven’t written to him about dragons at all—nothing related either.
I tried to discuss it with my friends. One friend decided to tell me a lot of things about himself that he had never told anyone as he was embarrassed about them. Since that day, he doesn’t respond to me. We were friends for ten years.
Other people told me, "you just hallucinated these". Then, after they told me in a euphemistic way "you went crazy", they started to repeat the things I told them without noticing it. They repeated the things they argued about. I didn't just imagine it happened. I have some of it in emails.
My therapist, whom I’ve been visiting for five years due to adult ADD, and whom I considered excellent - we were in a great relationship as I made one of her success stories in her professional carrier - replied to my trip experiences with words that made me consider stop visiting her.
That’s what I’m going to discuss with her in three days from now.
I also tried to contact a medical team who test mushrooms and ayahuasca in a famous hospital in my country. They didn’t respond.
If I tell you without any hesitation that I lived in a biological man body for more than three decades, and after my third or fourth truffles box, about half year ago, I went to the store, bought women clothes, and never wore men clothes again (except for shoes due to the size, and my leather jacket), and right now I am typing the answer to you in a bra with size E breast prosthesis in it, and planning to get implants that I need to organize to do only after my upcoming marriage, because, in my country, they don’t allow same-sex couples to marry, and that my avatar is my photo converted with FaceApp’s "Female Filter" (and I think it’s quite accurate), and I don’t delete this post, you may get an idea how serious the things are I don’t talk about.
The posts I deleted were related to the things I should not talk about or write about. The last thread called "Update" was the same story. I wanted to talk about them, but I believe I shouldn’t.
You can see I helped people related to therapy and meds, and I didn’t delete those.
