Dismany-

We all have sad stories of abuse, inflicted on us in the variety of ways one can be abused. I've only known verbal, emotional and physical- sexual abuse hasn't really ever been part of my painful past and to be honest I don't know how I would have turned out if that had been part of the abuse inflicted. There are few experiences (if ANY)as unfortunate as that in a young persons' life. I'm so very sorry you've had to endure that abuse, and all of the awful feelings of shame, confusion, guilt, rage, etc that it has brought.

All that I can say from my the work I've been doing on myself with psychedelics the last two years is that these drugs turn the light inward and force you to see yourself for who you are. I've chosen to surrender myself to change because of them. I've seen some ugly parts of myself, the ugliest. I've been a rageaholic since I was young. My dad was that way, his dad was that way, his dad's dad was that way, etc. I understand going from victim of abuse to moments that I realize I'M the abuser too! It's hard to take in but it is what it is.

The important thing I think is that you understand who you are, the good and the bad- work on changing what you don't like. You'll never be perfect but you can constantly be working towards that, so that you don't fall into the abusive role. Anywho, I'm going on and on  Just keep working on yourself Dismany. You'll always carry around the memory of what you went through, but you can stop the continuation of abuse, not only inflicted on yourself but on others as well. Thanks for letting us get to know you a little better- I always love when people can be as honest about their lives as you have been here. See ya in the chat

Carlinesque