You make the point....

This opens the question of proper integration of such experiences. But still I think that DMT might help people like me to surrender on a trip and just let it happen. My deepest problem I experienced on LSD was based on the fact, that I could not let go.

Maybe you are right: maybe my inner need to keep control of myself on Lucy trips, is in fact a sign that I could not handle Ego-decomposition in a healthy way. If that is the case, I might be lost forever right after after my first DMT trip. I don't know why, but I don't believe that this will happen.

It's like an inexplicable faith. I just deny to believe it....