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lets try this again!!

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liltinktink

liltinktink

Rising Star
Hello everyone:) I'm sorry my first post ended up in the wrong place & was'nt really written properly. Anyways I am fairly new to the dmt world. I have been doing a lot of reading for the last several weeks now. I have had a really bad experience with shrooms in the past & that made things a little difficult for me when first experimenting with dmt. I was scared to death that the bad trip would come back to haunt me. I did finally get the courage to try & make it through hyperspace but have had quite a few failed attempts with just some open eyed visuals. I must say all colors are absolutely beatuiful, but the body high is extremely intense & sometimes I start to have anxiety from it. I did have a small breakthrough which I'm still trying to fully remember & make sense of. I will b posting a full trip report on it today, I'm excited to hear everybody's insight on what the heck I saw. Also since my breakthrough I have been having a very hard time going to sleep at night. I had the brkthrough in my bedroom & now when I go to bed & close my eyes I keep feeling like something is in my room & its very unnerving. This.has caused me to lose quite a bit of sleep! Not sure if that has anything to do with my experience but it seems like an awfully strange coincidence. I really would love to give dmt another try but my anxiety is making it hard for me. Also some tips or techniques on fully letting go & staying positive would b awesome!! I thought I was allowing myself to completely relax & let go but something was there in my vision preventing me from going all the way. It seem to b protecting me. Could it have been my subconscious? I'm just really confused & scared to death of having a bad experience or run into something evil as I feel susceptible to these things for some reason. Well Thx for your time & will post a reply on here when my trip report is complete really anxious to hear opinions about it!! Soo until next time:p
 
Hello and welcome.

liltinktink said:

I'm just really confused & scared to death of having a bad experience or run into something evil as I feel susceptible to these things for some reason.
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From my own experiences I have observed that the more you fear "something evil" the more likely you are to have a bad time..I understand it's impossible to have no fear but I believe that one can balance out ones fear with a sort of optimism.

IMO one must be willing to see everything, (both good and bad) if they truly wish to understand the nature of reality and are serious about aquiring wisdom.

No reason to be afriad really, if you are so sure evil exist then you must also be sure that good exists as well, correct?
 
I'm in kind of the same position, liltinktink. Had a few failed launches, but I also enjoyed the experiences where I came close. I get a little anxious before each attempt, because I really don't know what to expect. We're entering a great void. A abyss that contains nothing of our own reality. Who wouldn't be scared??

Just remember, a DMT trip is short. Whatever happens, it won't happen for long.
 
It's true that it wont last too long, and that has been an anchor for me to not let myself terribly freak out when I feel the terror. But, for another friend of mine who I explained to that if you feel the fear, remember it will be over shortly, as soon as he entered hyperspace, he no longer believed me that it would be over shortly, and he lost touch with this reality extremely, and he had an experience of dying, and having to accept it.

What I'm saying is, a dmt trip may be 10 minutes on earth, but in your brain, that could be forever. All that been said though, my friend was not turned off from dmt after having died from it. He then was extremely enthusiastic about it, as it was the most profound experience of his life, and he got to experience death before dying on earth. He has now spread the dmt to many of his friends so they can experience what he did. I gave it to him because he had an addictive drug seeking behavior. He told me, "I just want to try drugs until I find the right one for me." I told him that he should stop doing cocaine with his friends, because it was starting to become a habit, and he used to say, I only do it socially, but I feared that this would soon end, or that he would make this "social" activity of railing coke a daily occurrence.

I told him that he should try DMT, because I imagined that the experience that ensued would be followed by industrial sized insight on himself. It worked.

So he experienced that terror, and it was good for him.

I also have had the experience of dying, and it was the most terrifying thing I have ever been through, but it didn't last the whole trip, it was only for the first 20 minutes or so of pharmahuasca. I also became scared of the terror, and the fear of it lasted a good 8 or 9 months. But what it feels like now, reflecting on it all, is like I went through a dramatic life in another dimension, lived from beginning to end, and it was not embracing this fear that led me to realize, I still have much growing up to do. I have too many dualistic properties to me. I like many things, and I dislike many things. I want certain things, and I don't want certain things (like extreme terror), but I feel like the extreme terror only overcame me because I could not embrace the idea of it. I couldn't say, go ahead, take me away. I had to say, NO! LEAVE ME BE! I DONT LIKE IT WHEN YOU KILL ME! But that's the entire reason I entered that space in the first place, to expand my horizons. And when you can finally say, go ahead, do what you will, then you are a truly enlightened soul.

What I enjoy will always perish. What I dislike will always be present. What I want will always evade me, and what I reject will always find me. So if I cast away the grip I hold on what I think makes me happy, and at the same time, cast away the idea of rejecting the bad, then there is no ego struggle, and my being simply is. I have found this space in me once, when I was very young. I have not stopped searching for it since, and I will continue to search until I find it again.

I understand you being scared of what is to come, I am too, but that's why I do it, because I want that fear to perish. My fears blind me from what power I really retain in my soul. Life is not hard, my dualistic thoughts say it is, but my soul disagrees, and it says that life is beautiful, and I need to let it unfold as it may, because it is perfect.
 
I forgot to add, I like to listen to this song before I smoke dmt or take any psychedelic for that matter. It really puts me back in my correct frame of mind for psychedelics when I feel anxious about it.

DMT warmup song
 
IMO one must be willing to see everything, (both good and bad) if they truly wish to understand the nature of reality and are serious about aquiring wisdom.

No reason to be afriad really, if you are so sure evil exist then you must also be sure that good exists as well, correct? [/quote]

I nvr thought of it that way! But my fear seems to take over the good for some reason. I am def. Trying to work on it though, I'm def. Looking forward to having a beautiful experience!! You also made me wonder if I'm scared to to know to much about "reality" which I am now confused about what reality really is! :? :?
 
liltinktink said:
IMO one must be willing to see everything, (both good and bad) if they truly wish to understand the nature of reality and are serious about aquiring wisdom.

No reason to be afriad really, if you are so sure evil exist then you must also be sure that good exists as well, correct? [/quote

I nvr thought of it that way! But my fear seems to take over the good for some reason. I am def. Trying to work on it though, I'm def. Looking forward to having a beautiful experience!! You also made me wonder if I'm scared to to know to much about "reality" which I am now confused about what reality really is! :? :?
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Ok I meant to quote Eliyahu but my phone isn't giving me that option..
 
Thx you all for tout great inputs! It has all given me a lot to think about... @ Nickypno you seem like u would make a great dmt coach!! I know that when my time is right it will happen for me. I'm just not trying to rush it & I'm not calling it quits yet. Just trying to stay more positive for awhile & hope it helps a little. I will be checking out that song...Thx again ;)
 
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